Tuesday, August 31, 2010

August - a good month? Really?

Yep, for a month that is somewhat of a "let's get through this and move on" in the business world of online dating, we're not complaining at Cache' Connections.  Our active membership base grew 20% this month which is phenomenal!  And our upcoming events are shaping up quite nicely.  The registration list for The National Singles Week Mixer is already half full and we have met our goal of acquiring about 25 vendors for the Cache' Connections Expo in November. And let's not forget about the connections!  We've had a wedding date announcement and many reports of new couples - those who met online, through our Mentoring Services and also events. 

One thing we learned at the Leadership Summit that really made an impression on me is that it is important to stop and celebrate the milestones.  Well... I think we have some celebrating to do!  It's wonderful to see our hard work and persistence paying off.  And we don't want to forget to praise God for his favor and blessing.  We wouldn't be where we are today otherwise.  But, if you've been following us long enough, you know we won't stop to celebrate for long.  We'll be right back at it because as we discussed today, New Year's Eve is right around the corner:)

Thanks to all of you for helping to spread the word.  The word-of-mouth campaign is so important and will be the key in helping Cache' Connections become a household name.  Please take a moment to share some info about CC with some of your single friends from the "tell a friend" link at the top of the Cache' Connections website.

On another note, don't forget that today is the last day for the incredible $49.95 one year membership special - promo code Aug2010.  Check it out under Subscriptions and TELL A FRIEND!

Have a great day!

Monday, August 30, 2010

An Unlikely Match Made?

Two of our mentoring clients think they have found their match.  The really cool part of this connection is we were working both with the guy and the gal and suggested they contact each other.  But, the moral of the story here is that both of these singles were open to our suggestions.  They are in their upper 40's and both divorced many years ago.  Neither had been successful in finding love since their divorce.  They each made the decision to be open to the possibility that they might need some help and signed up for the Mentoring Services.

After working through the process of tweaking bios and helping with communication and connections, we got busy discussing their connections.  We started working the the gentleman first and after a few false starts and after a few months had gone by, we started working with the lady counterpart and found she too was "teachable."  We suggested she contact the gentleman and she did.  We followed up by contacting him and suggested he talk to her and whalah!  He contacted us last week and said they were dating and the intensity of the relationship had increased.  They were discussing some of the more serious issues as far as "her" being a step-mother to his child.  He was pretty smitten and we are so happy for both of them and look forward to seeing where this relationship goes.

~ Kim
Cache' Connections

Saturday, August 28, 2010

"Country Music Makes Me Nauseous"

Subtitle: A Snapshot of Authentic Dating

You have to love an expert relationship article that begins with "The nighttime wind off the Pacific was cold but invigorating. Sitting next to me at the end of the Santa Monica pier was a girl with dark eyes and long brown hair." Who would have thought that Dr. Stephen W. Simpson's writing would mirror a Harlequin romance novel? Where does line dancing come in? You'll have to read it for yourself!

Today we are featuring an enlightening and entertaining article by "Dr. Steve" where he confesses his trials and tribulations on his transformation from pre-authentic dating to authentic dating. Apparently, his pre-authentic strategies "yielded results so preposterous that I had no choice but to take a break from the romance rat race."

Ever felt like that? That you had to "try" too hard to please someone so that you could keep him or her? There's a better way. Here's a snapshot:

1. Get a life.

2. Tell the truth.

3. Assess before you impress.

4. Don't lie to yourself.

5. Remember your first love.

to read the entire article. As Christians, we should be nothing but authentic in every aspect of our life. However, in choosing a mate, it is imperative in order to find a love that will endure once the rose-colored glasses come off.

~ Linda
Cache' Connections

Friday, August 27, 2010

Up For a Challenge Chicagoland?

Even though we always enjoy all of our events, I have to admit that I'm especially excited about the Cache' Connections Expo  that is coming up November 5th at Calvary Church in Naperville, IL.  It sounds like so much fun, and already we have so many businesses involved from the community.  If you're a single Christian and have been hesitant to come to our events in the past, you don't want to miss this one.  Most of us have been to a home show or expo of some kind.  This is where area businesses meet in one place and "show their wares" so to speak.  The fun part is every business represented will have a game or activity at their booth which will either be for a group of people or individuals.  And of course there will be prizes!  Each vendor will either have individual prizes or a grand prize valued at over $25 to be given away on the stage at the conclusion of the expo.  There is such a great variety of vendors too.  Here are some examples:

1.  Tutto Gelato (Italian ice cream - yum!)

2.  Pampered Chef (cooking demonstration - more yum!)

3.  The Tangerine Cafe

4.  Marbles the Brain Store

5.  Healing Hope Counseling

6.  Mutual of Omaha

7.  WYLL Radio

8.  Vertical Endeavors

9.  Mary Kay

10. Laser Quest

11. Advanced Healthcare

12. Nuskin

13. Neobella Salon

14. Efficient Fitness

15. Nutrition and Wellness Consulting

16. Shaklee

17. Caribou Coffee

18.Naperville Brunswick Zone

Stay tuned as there are other vendors still coming!  We expect to have over 25 area businesses altogether.  So there will be lots of freebies!  Mark your calendars, as this is one event you don't want to miss.  By the way, this is a great opportunity to meet others in attendance.  It's a no pressure, fun atmosphere and people will be joining efforts and cheering each other on at the booths while engaging in the games and activities.  Spread the word to your single friends in the Chicagoland area!

Have a great weekend!

Cache' Connections

Thursday, August 26, 2010

New Prayer Team Forming at CC!

Prayer is a very important part of Cache' Connections. There's no way we would attempt to do all that we've done or step out with some of our latest ideas without running it by the Lord first. Also, the business of dealing with the desires of your heart is nothing we take lightly, and we believe it is VERY important to God. So we pray. Want to join us?

We're still praying about how to pray (ha ha) with a prayer team. There are some different ways it could be structured. For now, it is looking like it will be a weekly email to our prayer team with weekly prayer requests and praises. If you are interested in being a part of this new prayer team, please contact us to have your name added to the email list.

Need prayer? Please contact us also with a short description of your prayer request. We will share your first name and prayer request in the weekly email. If you are dating someone, we'd be happy to pray for you as a couple, but updates would be appreciated. Likewise, ongoing prayer requests should be resubmitted from time to time. The team will pray generally for all CC members, as well as decisions and operations of Cache' Connections.

We appreciate the prayer of the saints who have lifted Cache' Connections in the past and look forward to a more structured method for praying effectively along with you.

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.
James 5:16

~ Linda
Cache' Connections

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Flowers on a first date?

Another Facebook poll speaks:

Donna - I would prefer to receive flowers at my home after I'd known the guy for awhile :O) I'm not one to like attraction drawn to me, so receiving flowers in a restaurant would embarrass me.

Elva - Doesn't it depend on how many flowers & what type of flower??..Hmmm, am I wrong? I wouldn't mind one single flower on a "first date" even at a restaurant is fine in my opinion....

Shirley - I think it's sweet. (But haven't experienced this so don't really know.)

Matthew - I don't think so, especially on a first date! I think it's a little much. Later, once they've been out a few times, then it has meaning, and shows her she's special. (I notice I'm the only male to comment...)

Casi - People still go to restaurants on first dates? :) I thought people only met for coffee anymore. And I agree with Elva... a single flower would be a nice gesture without being too much.

Laura - I agree..maybe one flower..it shows he is thoughtful..if he brings a bouquet, then it may be that he feels it's expected, therefore he's doing it out of obligation and not his heart.

Tammy - a single rose is extremely sweet.

Mary - Definitely a single flower... A full bouquet would seem a little over zealous for the first date.

Karen - On a first date, I think flowers or even a single flower is too much too soon. It means more the more you get to know the person. I believe you can over do it on a first date. Keep it Simple! I just want to get to know you first, then flowers later. : )

Mary - I like flowers. But, I wouldn't want to get a whole bouquet at dinner ... that would be awkward.

There you have it! I have to add that it's just a little sad that, for safety reasons, we are now meeting in coffee shops and restaurants instead of picking up the girl at her home. 27 years ago my future husband picked me up for our first date with a dozen roses in tow. Of course he was extremely shy and awkward about giving them to me ...

~ Linda
Cache' Connections

Monday, August 23, 2010

Relational blind spots? Get help!

Today we are focusing on an expert article that is featured on www.cacheconnections.com titled, "Don’t Let Blind Spots Blindside Your Relationships" by Georgia Shaffer. We met Georgia, author of "How Not to Date a Loser" at a SAM (single adult ministry) conference in Daytona, Florida in 2008. She is a licensed psychologist and certified life coach - and a very sweet lady!

This article takes a peek at some blind spots that you might not realize you have, such as not seeing negative qualities because of your focus on your connection's appearance, finances or status. Georgia recommends that you find people that you trust, people that you "do life with" to give you honest feedback about your current relationship. It might not be easy to do, and you may not like what you hear, but you have to trust that your advisers have your best interests at heart.

How many of us could see a train wreck coming when it comes to our friends' relationships? What if they had been humble enough to ask your advice? Let's hold each other up in this tough business of finding a soul mate. Proverbs 19:20 tells us to "Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise."

CLICK HERE to read the full article on blind spots.

~ Linda
Cache' Connections

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Is There Just One Person For Me?

I'm sure each one of us has asked ourselves the question, "Is there is just one person out there that is destined to be my husband or wife?"  Well, when you think about it, that thought could be quite overwhelming and confusing, because what if my soulmate is in Texas and I live in Wisconsin?  So, if there's only one person designed for me, how will we ever meet, and then... how long and wide do I search?  Also, will I know when I've finally met that person?  Will lights flash and buzzers go off and will my knees go weak? 

Before we start imagining the what-ifs and get too hung up on this lofty concept, let me interject that the answer is "no" according to Myles Munroe, author of Waiting and Dating.  He says, "There is no scriptural grounds to support the idea that there is only one Mr. or Mrs. Right.  There are 6 billion people in the world.  If there is only one person in six billion that is right for you, what is the likelihood that the two of you will meet up?"

Myles Monroe also goes on to say that God created us with free will, which is exemplified in lives of the first humans, Adam and Eve.  He explains that God may bring several people along our path that would be a potential mate.  It is up to us to choose our husband or wife.  "It is certainly appropriate to ask God for wisdom in making our choice about a mate, but He will not choose for us.  The choice is still ours."

Well... this certainly takes a little pressure off, doesn't it?  So, keep your eyes and heart open to where God may be leading.  He or she could be around the next corner... or maybe at Cache' Connections!

Have a great week.
Cache' Connections

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Mixed up about the Mixer?

As per the norm at Cache' Connections, we're changing things up a bit! For National Singles Week, we are hosting a Mixer on 9/19 in Oak Brook, Illinois. What's a mixer, you ask? I'm not sure anyone really knows, but here's our description:

It is not:
- speed dating
- highly orchestrated
- just coffee

It is:
- an event where everyone will be greeted by a host and introduced to others in attendance
- an atmosphere where you have control over who you spend time with
- an hour of socializing with one icebreaker, followed by dinner from a special menu priced at $20 or less
- for Christian singles age 30 and up

This classy event will be held at the centrally located The Clubhouse at the Oak Brook Center in Oak Brook, Illinois. We already have about a dozen hosts and hostesses signed up, so be assured that you will be seeing some new faces! Seating is limited to 60-70 people, so pre-registration is required. Members of Cache' Connections will enjoy a $5.00 discount!

$15 - Members
$20 - Non-members

Not a member? August is a great time to become one. Take advantage of the $100 savings off of a one-year subscription. Just $49.95. Promo code: Aug2010

Note: Dinner is a separate cost. Menu to come. CLICK HERE for more details and to register!

Stay tuned for more mixers to be scheduled in other areas!

Cache' Connections

Friday, August 20, 2010

This is what it's about, people!

I received this inspiring message from a Facebook friend the other day:

HI Linda,

I really enjoyed reading your chat about the Boundaries in dating book. It was very helpful, as a few things in the blog are what I'm experiencing in my dating now. I actually read through the blog with my counselor, in my counseling session today, and it was helpful to use to process some things! My counselor knows about you and Cache Connections ... God bless you for posting that blog. It was helpful to me.

We can't tell you enough how this "warms the cockles of our hearts." Even though this friend is not a member of Cache' Connections, she benefited from reading our blog. We're able to help singles grow, learn, and think outside of their boxes. I couldn't wait to share this with "Expert Emily," who also thought it was wonderful to know that the blog post from her recent chat was helpful. CLICK HERE to read that particular blog post.

Many members are seeing growth and change in their mindsets and patterns by participating in chats, being mentored, attending events and reading some recommended books, which meets our GOALS. So, member or not, please "follow" us if you are single and interested in meeting someone special. You never know how God is going to work on your heart, mind, attitude, etc. Yesterday's blog post shows 10 ways to glean from Cache' Connections. Just do it!

If you are interested in membership at Cache' Connections, August is the time to "just do it." Save $100 off of one year! The cost is just $49.95 with promo code Aug2010.

Have a great weekend friends!
~ Linda
Cache' Connections

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Did you know ...?

Part of what we do with our Cache' Mentoring Services is to encourage members to take advantage of all that Cache' Connections has to offer. It's surprising that some folks don't know about the options available to them, both for members and friends. So's here's a sneak peek at some things that are available to help you grow in your journey of finding a mate:

1. Blog. Well, this goes without saying. If you are reading this, you know that it often involves special tips, insights and advice, along with some very laughable videos from time to time!

2. Chats. We hate to keep beating this into the ground, but the chats are fun and informative! Don't be shy. In fact, if you'd like a trial run in "the box," give us a shout and we'll hold your hand and guide you through the box. Join Founder Linda on Mondays and Expert Emily Shupert once a month as she leads discussions on "Boundaries in Dating." (Room password: cachecommunity) You can even use The Meeting Room to chat with your connections!

3. Speaking of Expert Emily, did you know that she offers Relationship Coaching over the telephone for your unique dating situation? Check it out here!

4. Events. As we saw in a video from Henry Cloud today, it is important to get out there and experience things in order to grow. Cache' events are perfect for getting your feet wet, as we always strive to make you feel welcome. Click here for upcoming events.

5. Newsletter. Check out the bi-monthly newsletter that gives an overall snapshot of what's taken place and what's cooking for the future. Also includes are the standard reminders such as PLEASE POST YOUR PRIMARY PHOTOS.

6. Facebook. Many members and friends enjoy our friendship on Facebook and feel free to ask us questions through that venue. This is a great way to get a bird's eye view of what Kim and Linda are up to now! KIM / LINDA

7. Did someone mention Mentoring Services? Yes! They are great! This is a two-week program where we personally coach you with your profile, connections and communications. Let's decide together - "Was it something I said?" "Should I write to him first?" "Is this too braggy for my bio?" These services are specially priced at $55.

8. Recommended Reading. Everyone has room for growth. Here are just a few books that we've read to help us help you. Tops on our list are "The Singlehood Phenomenon" and "What Women Wish You Knew About Dating." Some others we hear a lot about but haven't gotten around to are: "Boundaries in Dating" and "Wild at Heart."

9. Expert articles. Click here for articles on dating that are posted on our website. Why not set a goal to read an article a day, now that we are back to school?

10. Hope. Everyone needs hope, and we can assure you that we serve the God of hope! Although the success stories are hard for some to swallow, it's important to know that Cache' Connections is being blessed and confirmed by our happy couples, a list which continues to grow. Believe us when we say that we pray for you daily, that each member will find their connection through our efforts, and we pray for your mate to come to Cache' Connections. Often we see that those who were about to "give up" are the ones now in relationships. Keep your eyes focused on the One who is able to do exceedingly and abundantly more than you could ever hope or imagine! (Eph. 3:20) And do what you can!

See you around :)


Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Got roadblocks?

We felt this daily devotional by Dr. Charles Stanley, based on Isaiah 41:10-11, was worth sharing with our readers. Consider how these roadblocks may be affecting your attitudes and actions regarding your faith walk and dating:

Scripture identifies areas that can impede achievement. These include fear, doubt, excuses, procrastination, and laziness. If we know what the roadblocks are, it is easier to identify and overcome them in our lives.

First, when we experience fear—whether of failure, criticism, rejection, or anything else—our focus shifts from Jesus to the very thing we want to avoid. Such apprehension can become bondage. The antidote is to bring our focus back to the Lord.

Second, doubt is a lack of assurance that God will help us to succeed. Past failures, negative influences, and ignorance of His Word can all lead to this obstacle.

Third, excuses are an effort to make disobedience more comfortable. "I haven't had the breaks others have," "my parents didn't teach me correctly," and "I am too busy" are false justification, as was Adam's attempt to blame Eve for his bad decision.

Fourth, procrastination—or delaying an action that causes discomfort—also inhibits success. Related to that is a fifth roadblock: laziness. This ungodly behavior can, for obvious reasons, prevent our achieving God's purpose.

Wise people check their "path" to identify anything that inhibits following Christ fully. If any of the above roadblocks are impeding your success, push them aside. Find scriptures to help battle temptations. And ask God for strength so you can live freely and purposefully in the way He has planned.

~ Linda
Cache' Connections

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Sunday night's chat: Boundaries in Dating with Expert Emily

Emily Shupert, LAPC, MABC, (let's call her "EE") leads a monthly chat at Cache' Connections, and her focus is now on Boundaries in Dating, one of her favorite topics. Here are a few interesting tidbits from the chat that took place in The Meeting Room on Sunday night:

Chatter: Please define boundary.

EE: A boundary is a property line that defines you from another person. It allows you to think and act differently with those whom you are in a relationship. That is the brief definition but in dating, it allows you to maintain a self in the midst of a different person. Many times you can define boundaries best by seeing where boundaries are lacking in relationships.... Have any of you all be in relationships where you felt like you "lost yourself"? Lack of boundaries in dating can have several faces to it and losing oneself is one of the many types of boundaries lacking in dating relationships.

Chatter: So are we talking a beginning relationship not led to marriage yet?

EE: If you have been taken advantage of in past relationships, it is helpful to know that this is part of your story in order to look for someone who doesn't override your boundaries. It is really easy for someone to lose themselves early on....

Sometimes people are more in love with the idea of love that they enter into a relationship with someone whom won't allow them to be themselves. It is far more "romantic" to enter into a relationship without any thought than to maintain yourself and your boundaries.

By stepping back when someone tries to force their beliefs onto you, their opinions, etc. Also, suggest to him/her that you feel like you are needing to assert yourself a bit more in the relationship. By using "I" statements, they won't feel attacked. It is important that your actions and words are congruent with one another.

A situation where someone might lack boundaries in a dating relationship is when a man or woman is speeding up the relationship without the other person feeling comfortable.

Chatter: So I would say mostly is making sure you present yourself and be yourself and keep that, and if they do not like or enjoy then time to move on?

EE: Yes...but there area other areas as well such as lacking boundaries by dating the wrong people, not dating at all in order to be "safe", or having romantic friendships.

Chatter: Often times people don't understand what kind of boundaries to set.

EE: If you are in a relationship where you feel angry and taken advantage of it might be a sign that someone has overridden your boundaries or you are overriding someone else's boundaries. Boundaries isn't limited to simply "standing your ground" but it can also be when people are in romantic friendships where it is more like friends with benefits (emotional or physical). In the Christian world, it is a lot easier to have romantic friendships because it appears to be "safe" instead of dating...however there is a false sense of intimacy without any commitment.

Chatter: So, then I guess, I am assertive, how might I know if I have stepped over someone else's boundaries? Or is there a way to know others if they do not communicate them?

EE: You cannot be certain that you are overriding someone else's without them telling you but you can also pray and ask the Lord to show you where you are living beyond areas of your control. We each are told to carry our own load but if you are carrying others loads or taking control of what isn't yours to control, this might be an indicator.

Often it is helpful to ask others for honest feedback, those who love you well, and ask if you are steamrolling over them at time. This takes great courage to ask for feedback. But it is helpful because others can be a mirror to you and help you become a better person.

Chatter: So then if he calls too much it is a problem as well, correct? How often should a man call a lady at beginning of a relationship?

EE: I think it is fine if he calls and he can be direct by asking, "How often would you like to talk?" It might but you can say, "I really like talking with you on the phone and I want to make sure that I respect you, your time, and your boundaries..." "So let me know how often you would like to talk so we can get to know one another better."

EE: Where else have you all struggled with boundaries in relationships?

Chatter: What about when a person wants to know about your past? Do we have to tell them anything?

EE: You don't owe anyone an explanation on your past until you feel comfortable. It is Your story and you get to decide when to share. Many times in relationships individuals feel like they need to disclose everything or nothing at all....it is your decision to share information when you feel comfortable. Comfort is based on one's trust and as you begin to trust more, you can disclose more. You don't have to share the ins and outs...would you share that info with a stranger on the street at first meeting? If not, then you don't need to do that to someone on a date.

Getting to know someone is the most important process and I've never heard someone come into my office with marriage issues saying "we waited too long to get married" :) A year is very beneficial because you are able to experience the person throughout all the seasons, meet their family, and get to know the "real" person.

... Keep checking your boundaries and date with integrity :)

Please feel free to join our leader-led chats! We strive to provide practical dating advice to help you navigate today's confusing dating scene. Check the Scheduled Events for chats and other fun stuff to do with Christian singles!

~ Linda
Cache' Connections

Monday, August 16, 2010

July - August Newsletter

Things are heating up this summer! In July, we were welcomed for the first time by beautiful mega church Faith Church in Dyer, IN. We made some new friends, and some old friends came out to enjoy a night of worship, fellowship and to hear from "Tower" from Shine.fm with his experiences as a Christian single.

July wouldn't be the same for Cache' Connections without our usual stint at Ignite Chicago, a two-day Christian music festival. Despite the after-effects of torrential rains and some last-minute changes, over 12,000 Christians came out to enjoy some of today's top worship artists. Kim and Linda had some fun with the flip cam, including capturing a live, surprise proposal from a former CC member. Click here to watch the video.

August rolls in with two of our popular Cache' Coffee Connections events, one in Orland Park, IL and another in South Barrington, IL. These reasonably-priced speed dating events are always a big hit. Here's what one new attender had to say: "The Coffee Connection last night was a lot of fun. Kelly and Glen were GREAT! And they are such a cute couple! The event was very well organized and there were a lot of people there. It was nice to actually meet in person some of the guys whose profiles I had seen..."

There are some unique events coming up - including a "Singles Difference Day" picnic in Lake Zurich on 10/2/10. We are partnering with Singles Difference, The Chapel and Christ Together to bring singles together for a fun day of relaxation, worship and of course lunch!

On October 8 we will be in sunny Florida for Cache' Connections Live! at First Baptist Naples, where the folks there are working hard to ensure a great turnout for their first event. We look forward to hearing Drs. Tom and Bev Rodgers' wisdom as they speak on "Finding God's Best for Your Life."

We'll return to Calvary Church in Naperville, IL on November 5 for our annual event there, but with a change. The singles there are more interested in opportunities for fun and connection, so we're hosting our first Cache' Connections Expo, which will include games, activities and prizes for guests, who can freely stroll through the vendor booths.

CC will be "playing in Peoria" on November 19 for our first event at Crossroads United Methodist Church for Cache' Connections Live! in Washington. We look forward to worshiping together and hearing the wise words of Charles Klees, who will be speaking on "Developing Healthy Relationships." Also, stay tuned for a Cache' Coffee Connections event to follow in Peoria on 12/5!

Click here
for information on all upcoming events.

Reminders to members:

- Please post your photos! First we need your headshot and bodyshot taken against a plain indoor wall or door, then we can approve 6 casual photos
- Consider widening your age and mileage ranges under My Account Settings to increase your connections
- Don't forget to read the blog and find Kim Whitaker and Linda Martin on Facebook; also join the Fan Page!
- Join a growing email group of those who are fasting and praying for singles desiring marriage. Email fast.pray@gmail.com to be added to the list!
- Join in the live chats! We are currently doing a light book study on Monday nights based on the book "What Women Wish You Knew About Dating" by Dr. Stephen W. Simpson. Also, join "Expert Emily" Shupert on Sunday, August 15 as she leads a discussion on Boundaries in Dating. Click here for scheduled chats and other events.
- Lastly, remember that all subscriptions will automatically renew unless you cancel your subscription under Billing Management.

Kim and Linda
Cache' Connections

Click here for May - June Newsletter

Friday, August 13, 2010

$100 off? Are we crazy?

What were we thinking when we decided on the August special? Maybe the heat was affecting our brains. Anyway, it's gone public so we will run with it. Here it is again:

$49.95 - One Year (regular $149.95) ... 66% off!
$249.95 - Until Married (regular 349.95)

Promo code: Aug2010

Many new and existing members have taken advantage of this special. We know you're busy finishing up summer and gearing up toward fall, so this allows you to secure your membership at Cache' Connections for a full year at a price that is less than a regular three-month subscription!

Lots of great connections, engagements and marriages are resulting from members who are allowing God to open their minds and hearts and lead them in their decisions. Here's what one member wrote recently:

"You have taught me to reach out to most every match, just in case it might be the one God has chosen for me ... I am growing as I have been a member, and am SO glad I joined! I will be getting more involved with activities as time allows. I want to attend everything I possibly can ...I absolutely would love it if you quote me and it encourages others to be more open! I really think people would be more hopeful if they allowed themselves to be more open minded about what God wants for them, instead of focusing on their wants and needs. I have come to realize this has been a barrier for me and it kept me from happily searching for a mate! It is very disheartening to be anxious and narrowly focused. The entire world opens up when you go into each match positively with the understanding that God knows what is best for you and if this is not the person, then the right one is still waiting for you. The entire search has become fun and something to look forward to thanks to God reminding me that his way may not be my way."

If you've been considering Cache' Connections, now is the time! As always, don't hesitate to contact us for assistance. Have a great weekend - see you on the site!

Cache' Connections

Thursday, August 12, 2010

A Few More Puzzle Pieces Come Together

If you've been following us here on the blog or on Facebook, you have seen that we have been occasionally referring to a new project - what we call "The New Wheel."  It started out as a vision way back when we started Cache' Connections and is the premise or foundation upon everything we stand for.  We have always had the lofty goal of changing the dating landscape in our country because society in general has gotten so far away from applying biblical standards when forming relationships.  Face it, our nation is a mess when it comes to relationships... we now have the largest singles population than ever before in history - over 50%.  And we believe that any time we veer from God's plan, things can go awry.

Well, at Cache' Connections, we've been so busy getting the website and events going, that we haven't had much time to get back to this huge undertaking.  So it seems the time has come.  We can't say much yet, but here's a few of the puzzle pieces that have come together.  For now, we'll leave the rest to your imagination...

The Movement Defined
Pastor tested and approved
Redefining Christian Dating in the 21st century outlined
Relationship Expert on board
Airline tickets booked
Videographer secured
Rob Bell - Nooma format

Any guesses?
Cache' Connections

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

It's not about the coffee.

Some people have asked, "what if you don't drink coffee?" when inquiring about Cache' Coffee Connections events. Here's a secret: coffee is just an excuse. If coffee is not your thing, your excuse can be iced tea, bottled water or another fancy drink.

We had 45 singles in attendance on Sunday night's Cache' Coffee Connections in Orland Park, Illinois. Here's what one new attender had to say: "The Coffee Connection last night was a lot of fun. Kelly and Glen were GREAT! And they are such a cute couple! The event was very well organized and there were a lot of people there. It was nice to actually meet in person some of the guys whose profiles I had seen..."

Once underway, the connection activity typically lasts about an hour and a half. Several guests stayed afterward chatting and eating. There are always some familiar faces, along with some new ones. You just never know - so we encourage those considering such an event to step out and bring a friend!

Kelly and Glen will be hosting a similar event this Sunday at 2:30 pm at Panera Bread in South Barrington, Illinois. They met at a similar connection event in February this year and have been in a committed relationship ever since.

For more information on this and other Cache' Connections events, CLICK HERE.

Cache' Connections

Monday, August 9, 2010

Free Membership For All Christian Single Males!

Just this week we are offering free membership for all Christian single guys at Cache' Connections!  Why not the ladies you ask?  Well, I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but there is an unfair advantage in the Christian dating world.  It's discouraging to report that the Christian ladies outnumber the Christian guys.  We've even heard estimates of an 8 to 1 ratio.  But don't get too down about this ladies since our ratios on the website are usually somewhere between 2 or 3 women to every one male.  So, in order to help the ladies out, we find it necessary once in a while to "spur" the guys on and encourage them to join.  We find once they get engaged in the website and find out how awesome our ladies are, they may want to stick around a little longer.

So guys... here's your chance to meet some real quality Christian women.  Just sign onto the website and "Contact Us" and we'll open your account for free with no strings attached.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

"I need a wife" the young man quipped

Yesterday I got to spend the day with my 20-year old son. He moved into his "bachelor pad" with a buddy earier this year, leaving his father and I empty-nesters. Grant has recently fallen prey to a nasty virus that's had him down and out of commission for seven days now. On Day 6 we finally convinced him to come home and let us love on him a bit.

Despite his flu-like symptoms, we had a pretty nice day together. (I think the Nyquil helped his mood.) As he sat at the counter eating the snack I prepared for him, he quipped, "I need a wife." "Oh yeah?" I replied. He went on, "I need a full time wife so I have help with the groceries so I can eat right, someone to help me keep the house clean ..." and on he went. Almost always one to miss a teaching point, I quipped back "Try being a single mom." He assured me he'd never be a single mom.

Despite the fact that he has not yet made a commitment to follow God's word as a compass for his life, Grant touched on a very important fact that we should never forget. Man needs a helpmate. It's not that he needs a woman to complete him - those who follow Christ are complete in Him. But, this life can be tough. (I can hear the "Amens" to that point.) We need a partner to do life with, someone who is fully devoted to us, in the good times and the bad times.

Remember in the second chapter of Genesis, when God painstakingly created, painted and populated our world? He said everything in it was good. There was only one element about creation that God did not like, and that was the fact that the man - Adam - was alone. God created us for relationship ... in his image. (Hmmm ... sounds like another blog.) God recognized that Adam was lonely and there was no other creature on earth like him. So, God created Eve out of Adam's side, to be his helpmate. By God's design, marriage is the perfect plan for mankind to be able to get the most fulfillment out of life.

Our desire at Cache' Connections is to help you find that helpmate for life. As 20+ and 30+ veterans of the institution of marriage, Kim and I can attest that it's not always easy. The classrooms of selflessness, compromise and servant-hood are not always our favorite venues. But they are great arenas for us to become more like Christ, the perfect example of a servant - another divine purpose of marriage.

Yes, Grant, you do need a wife. Maybe not now. Maybe not just a grocery-getter. But you are beginning to get the picture that God painted for you. Get well soon my dear son!

~ Linda
Cache' Connections

Friday, August 6, 2010

Summit: Kim and Linda Get Motivated!

When the mention of the Global Leadership Summit came up this year, both Linda and I felt that it was important that we attend.  We don't really consider ourselves leaders, but since we run a company, I guess we are:)  So we decided to take a couple days off from the office and spend two days at Northwoods Community Church to hear from God through these successful leaders.  There was so much good information, I don't even know where to begin.  We took pages of notes and want to share just a few key points that really stood out to us:

Bill Hybels - Founding Senior Pastor of Willow Creek - "Leaders move people from here to there, but you must convince people why they don't want to stay "here" to get them to "there."

Jim Collins - Best selling author of How The Mighty Fall - What great leaders have in common: "It is not about them and they never give up."

Christine Caine - Founder of the A21 Campaign (fighting human trafficking) - "The time is ripe for hope.  We have a responsibility to lead people to hope."

Tony Dungy - Winning coach of the 2007 Superbowl - "Leadership is about helping people.  We should all be pouring into others."

Jeff Manion - Senior Pastor Ada Bible Church, Michigan - "The Land Between (the desert) is fertile ground for God's provision, God's discipline and our transformational growth.  Invite in TRUST!"

Terri Kelly - CEO W.L. Core & Associates - "Create an environment of collaboration in your workplace.  Lead through influence and make everyone have an ownership in the outcome."

Daniel Pink - Best selling author & White House speech writer - "We are seeing the end of "profit motives" today.  Now the "purpose motive" has surfaced.

Blake Mycoskie - founder Tom's Shoes - "Business should always involved giving the first fruits and focus on what you can do to help others.  Strategic partnerships are key."

Jack Welch - founder General Electric - Leaders have to be authentic and energize those around them."

So, this is such a small part of the valuable advice and insight that was shared - all of which will impact Cache' Connections in some way at some time.

It was quite a thrill for us also to see so many of our pastor friends from the area in one place.  We enjoyed catching up on their ministries and sharing ideas about where Cache' Connections is heading. 

But I guess one piece of crucial information that was said over and over was DON'T GIVE UP!  It was so confirming to hear of these great leaders who poured their hearts and lives (and too often tears) into their companies or ministries for years until they reached a high level of success.  So onward we go.........

Have a great weekend!

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

TWD - Texting While Dating?

We all know that "TWD" - texting while driving - is a huge no-no. We're sure that none of our blog fans and members of CC engage in such dangerous activities. But what about texting while on a date? Is there danger in that? We polled our Facebook friends on this hot topic the other day and the results came flying in:

Christine: I never text on a date....unless it's one of my kids...with a emergency!!

Spring: same as taking a phone call to chat on the phone. I think it is rude to leave your date sitting and chat with someone else...

Jodi: Good kid contact tool. Not routine.

Tyra: ‎:-(

Beth: I think that you need to let your date know that if your children are a text priority. all other text responses are rude. even taking phone call are rude, unless they are the kiddies calling.

Mary: I think its rude and not a proper thing to do when you are trying to get to know a potential mate

Michael: only cute if you're texting your date...

Devin: Obnoxious!!! Almost as bad as ringing cell phones during church!

Vicki: Phone should be totally put away, on vibrate, give the date your utmost attention. Very rude.

Well, there seems to be a hint of vehemence behind these posts that suggest your health and safety may be in jeopardy if you engage in TWDating! Although checking your texts while on a date is probably rather common, the consensus is that it is highly frowned upon, especially when the relationship is new. So, leave your phone off, or set your phone so that the tone of your children's texts are recognizable. Give your date your full attention ... especially if you are interested in a second or third date.

Kim and Linda
Cache' Connections

Coffee Connections - what can I expect?

We have two Cache' Coffee Connections events coming up in Chicagoland. These events are always popular, but they also raise a lot of questions. Here's a little bit of what you can expect:

The recommended age is 30+. All ages are welcome, but those in their twenties may not feel comfortable. We will have some guests in their 30's and 50's and a few 60's, but the majority of them are usually in their 40's.

These events are priced just right at $10 plus the purchase of a beverage at the venue. What a great value for a rare opportunity!

Wear whatever you might wear on a first date at a casual-to-nice restaurant. Jeans dressed up, collared shirts for the guys and brown or black shoes, capris, skirts or slacks for the gals would be great. Shorts, sneakers and t-shirts ... well they rarely make a good first impression.

There are different ways to conduct speed dating events, and there is no one perfect method that will please all of the people all of the time. The challenge is that we never know if we will have the same amount of men and women, as walk-ins are always welcome. So our structure is to seat guests in groups of 4, usually 2 men and 2 women, or 1 man with 2 women. After signing in, you will be directed to a table, where you are encouraged to go ahead and fill out your connection cards. This is for your personal information that you would like to share with those you meet and would like to get to know further. Feel free to chat with those you are seated with before the event begins. The host or hostess will give instructions and let you know when to begin. The time segments will be 6 to 8 minutes. Each person is to take 1 minute to introduce himself or herself. After these initial introductions, you can chat for the remaining few minutes.

When notice is given, the women will be asked to get up and move to the next table, which are usually numbered. Be sure to take all of your things with you: beverage, pencil, cards, etc. As soon as the women are seated at the next men's table, you are free to begin introductions again. The host will announce when the next 6 or 8 minute segment has ended. By the end of the evening, everyone will have met all guests of the opposite gender.

As you are going about the activity, you are strongly encouraged to exchange connection cards on the spot. There are a couple of reasons for this: 1. placing a name with the face (invaluable) 2. easier on the host. If you are not comfortable passing your card to someone, you can write his or her name on the back of one of your cards. Then give these to the hostess after all of the introductions. Before the guests leave, the host will disburse the cards, so stick around a little while while she sorts through them.

We recommend that if you intend to follow up on a connection, please do so within one week. Also, it is far better to err on the side of extending your information as the possible beginning of a friendship. Too often people get nervous or second guess themselves and do not exchange their information. Remember, this is not a marriage proposal, just "I found you interesting and would like to talk to you again."

CLICK HERE for details on the Cache' Coffee Connections events coming up in Orland Park this Sunday, 8/8 at 6:30 pm and next Sunday, 8/15 in South Barrington, Illinois at 2:30 pm.

Come on our and enjoy this fun opportunity to meet other Christian singles! You never know - this could change your life! Many friendships and couples have formed from those who've stepped out in faith. Remember, it's easier for God to steer a ship that's already sailing :)

~ Linda
Cache' Connections

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

First date: kiss the girl?

In last night's chat, we discussed "The Casual First Date," which is Chapter 9 of Dr. Stephen W. Simpson's book, "What Women Wish You Knew About Dating." This book gives great practical advice for men on how to approach dating. There's a lot for women to glean as well.

We had a lively group and the comments were coming in fast and furious, so much so that it was hard for everyone to keep up! So I've decided to just blog the main points of the chapter, with a sprinkling of the additional comments from the chatters last night.

Dr. Steve says the first date should include a casual dinner or weekend lunch, followed by a walk and more talking. Coffee dates are only recommended for a very first personal meeting. If you've spent some time getting to know the girl prior to the date (as recommended), you don't just want to take her out for coffee. You have 3 goals: 1) get to know each other 2) have fun and 3) make a good first impression.

Here are some do's and don'ts for the first date:

Do ... above all else, be yourself. Authenticity is key!

Do ... take an extra shower, shave again, dress in nice casual clothes. No sweat pants or t-shirts that say "I'm with stupid." LOL

Do ... pick her up. This is touchy. We decided that the man should offer to pick up the girl, or meet her at a public place. If you pick her up, don't honk the horn.

Don't ... take her to the movies. No time to talk.

Do ... take charge of the date. Know which restaurant you will go to, have a back-up in case she doesn't like it; know how to get there and where to park, etc. Gas up and maybe wash the car - let her know you've taken care of the details so she can relax. (I love this!)

Do ... be a gentleman. Dr. Steve says "Trip over yourself and knock down doormen to open the door for her. ... She'll notice every polite gesture."

Don't ... be a jerk. Don't make fun of her or leave her alone except to visit the restroom.

Don't ... order dinner for her. Too soon.

Do ... pay for dinner and everything else. This brought up discussion. If a woman offers to pay, refuse first time. If she is insistent, let her pay a portion or the tip.

Do ... take her on a walk after dinner. Don't go to the mall or a secluded place.

Do ... walk her to the door if you picked her up. Tell her you had a good time and that you would like to see her again; ask if you can call her sometime next week.

Don't ... kiss her! Why? The reason Dr. Steve says not to kiss her is to a) heighten the anticipation for next time if she does want a kiss and b) save you from a black eye and embarrassment if she doesn't. In the chat we decided that kissing the hand was very romantic. There was also a lot of discussion on a hug, which frankly got confusing. There's something such as a fake hug which is a turn-off. So I'd recommend a slight touch on the arm, kiss on the hand, or even a warm soft (slightly clingy?) handshake.

Join us next Monday night at 8:00 pm CST as we discuss dealing with rejection - which is why you shouldn't have tried to kiss the girl!

~ Linda
Cache' Connections

Monday, August 2, 2010

"Cache was instrumental in my wife and I moving forward"

My wife Beth and I met at a concert several years ago. It was a brief encounter. Two and a half years later we met again online. While we did not meet on Cache Connections, Cache was instrumental in my wife and I moving forward in our relationship. I had been with Cache for a few months and was active on the site including the chat room. I had also attended several Cache functions, I believe two speed dating and five Cache 'Live' events. It's been said the Lord moves in mysterious ways. The reconnection with Beth I mentioned came just a few days before the second Cache speed dating event. I had written her, and we wrote back and forth a couple of times. I went ahead and attended the speed dating, and while I met a couple of interesting ladies, my mind was going back to Beth. Days later I saw her online on this other site, and she said yes to instant messaging. We talked (IM'd) for 4 1/2 hours! At the end of our conversation, Beth invited me to hear a special speaker at her church that night. One small problem, I was to host the Cache chat room that night. I was able to reach Linda, who graciously covered for me that night. (Thanks Linda!) I picked Beth up. We went to her church, and as we walked in we took each others hand without a word. We sat close to each other immediately. There was a comfort level between us that I had never experienced before with a woman. We saw each other after that, and on one of our next dates we talked of the concert that we both were at 2 1/2 years earlier and how we briefly spoke there. What a small world right? If you've been a Christian for any length of time and still believe in coincidences or worse yet luck, you're fooling yourself.
Anyway, while Beth and I were getting along well, I was not really moving forward. We were not only hitting it off, but we were discovering ALL kinds of things in common! Still we were 'dating'.

Cache 'Live' in Chesterton Indiana was coming up in May 2009. A bunch of Cache people were carpooling from the western suburbs. Beth came and of course we sat together. At the event Drs. Tom and Bev Rodgers spoke. It was there that I realized that I needed to take the next step forward in my relationship with Beth. You see, I had been in a previous relationship that was like a roller coaster. While I did get in it, I really didn't have any control over where it was going, and quite the ride it was. It was far from a good situation. You would think after eight years of singleness and this woman that I had so much in common with, that I would just move forward. As the Rodgers spoke I realized that I had put up some barriers to a relationship. I had erected defensive walls. I was NOT going to be hurt again. The Lord used the Rodgers that night to help me begin to take them down. In all those years of being alone, I truly wanted a real relationship with a real woman. Yet I was holding myself back. I left that night knowing I was to move forward with Beth. October 24th, 2009, Beth and I were married. It's good to be home. Today we STILL find things we have in common. (So much for 'opposites attract'.) We are growing deeper in our relationship with each other and our Lord and Savior.

Cache Connections is arguably the best single meeting service that is available for the Christian today. But it's not just a singles service, it's a ministry. It's owned by two godly Christian ladies. Kim and Linda clearly have a heart for the Lord Jesus Christ, His design for marriage, and bringing like-minded Christian singles together. These ladies do a tremendous job as they require a person sign a statement of faith and have real and current pictures. The events I attended were all top notch. Kim and Linda only made each that followed better than the previous. They have speakers like the Drs. Rodgers and Dr Paul Meier. Brian Hunt exalts the name of the Lord in music.

I came to appreciate Kim and Linda and all they do for singles. Thanks ladies for being a part of my future.

Blessings to you, Tim Kochan