Friday, December 31, 2010
(humming "On the road again ..." and thinking: Thelma and Louise)
Oh, hi there! Happy New Year! We're busy packing and getting ready for a fun weekend in Chicagoland. We're heading to Schaumburg for our New Year's Eve Party. Looking forward to our first 4-on-4 Connection Party, where we will break out the dice and play a well-known game known as Bunco. It's perfect for singles, as you change partners and tables a lot! As with any new event, we'll see if this test run reveals any tweaks or bugs that need to be worked out, but we anticipate it will be a lot of fun, and a great way to mingle as players vie for prizes: high score, low score, most Bunco's, last person to roll a Bunco.
But before that ... Kim and Linda will enjoy an early dinner on and at The Clubhouse in the Oak Brook Mall. The management there has given us a gift card for doing business with them in 2010, so we look forward to an elegant meal to fuel us for the big night.
As many of you know, we often drive the long 3-hour trek home after our Chicago events, but New Year's Eve is the exception, for obvious reasons. So we are spending the night at one of our (single) friend's home, where we will each have our own bed :) Thanks again, DH, for your wonderful hospitality!
We are looking forward to Saturday as well. We'll head back to the Oak Brook Mall for a little shopping, then meet up with Linda's daughter for lunch at Kim's favorite place, Stir Crazy. Our last stop before hitting I-55 will be to visit two very special little boys, Joshua and Judah, who are Cache' Connections first babies! Born the last week of October, we are overdue for a visit, baby gifts and photos. Their proud parents, Darrick and Markita, met through our "personal touch" in the fall of 2009. Needless to say, 2010 was quite a year for them! Click here for more details on their love story.
We pray that all of our friends have a safe and happy New Year's Eve celebration. If you can't get out tonight, join the live chat from 8 - ? CST in Cache' Connections Meeting Room. Click here for information. Let's look forward with eager expectation to what God has in store for 2011.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
The end of the year always provokes thoughts of what might happen next year. Of course, we know that usually the things we want don't just "happen," but we have to take those action steps of faith. So we asked our Facebook friends, "Is anyone planning some new strategies for their dating in 2011? (married friends need not apply :" Here are some of the responses:
Kim - Yep....I'll let you know how it works out. Let's just say the same ole thing wasn't working. :)
Taylor: Yep, moving!!! Plan on fishing when I find another pond!!! Not that the fishing's bad around here, I've just got some others from my school that I'd kinda like to swim around!!!
Debbie: yes linda, I will just patiently wait for prince charming to come knock on my door. :) But I heard that it doesn't really work.
Rosanna: Yes giving up!
Les: I'm swearing off dating next year. Of course I'm kidding...maybe. I guess just praying about it more that God will direct that area!
Larry: i have friends who need a new strategy -- or maybe just a strategy. pass all suggestions along to me.
Shannon: I am open to suggestions, since I have obviously been unsuccessful so far!
Ray: Working on myself to be God's best person, staying sensitive to the leadings of the Holy Spirit and getting out there and meeting people and being their friend. Taking sensible action when opportunities present themselves. A major theme from our Church Christmas service was "Do not be afraid." We all need to step forward in faith and reach out, and trust God that our hopes and dreams will work out - in His time - if only we will trust - and I am talking about me here, as well! My prayer for everyone who has a desire for someone special will be encouraged, as I have been in 2009 and 2010, and that this coming year will be a breakthrough for you!
Jo: I'm going to continue to pray and reach out to meet new people through Cache events and the website.
Lorri: Being open to opportunities that come my way; remain positive and trust in the Lord for He knows what is best for me.
These are some good ideas. Stay tuned for more strategies, compliments of Cache' Connections.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
As the New Year approaches, this is a great time to "rethink" how we've done things in the past and develop some new approaches in many areas in our life. So what about evaluating your approach to dating? If you're interested in meeting a like-minded believer, are you looking in the right places? Are you putting yourself out there to meet others? God reminds us over and over in His word that we must take action steps of faith. Even though online dating may be something new and different for a lot of people, maybe it's time to give it a try. As Pastor Keith Langland told us when we held an event at Charles Stanley's Church, First Baptist Atlanta, "If it lines up with God's word, then why put God in a box? He can work online just the same as He can anywhere else."
So we encourage you to prayerfully seek God's guidance in joining or renewing a membership at Cache' Connections. There is not a better time to get started!
FOR ONE WEEK ONLY (through Jan. 3rd) - we are offering an incredible special - 50% OFF THREE MONTHS OR MORE AND DOUBLE YOUR SUBSCRIPTION! In other words, with the promo code DOUBLEDEC, you will receive 1/2 off any membership period of 3, 6 or 12 months, but that's not all! We will also DOUBLE the length of your membership! See the adjusted prices below:
$64.95 - 3 months - Now 6 months for $32.48
$99.95 - 6 months - Now 12 months for $49.98
$149.95 - 12 months - Now 24 months for $74.98
But, the best special of all is our Until Married Membership which offers a savings of $210.95 at a cost of ONLY $139.00 with the promo code UNTILMARRIED. You will also receive a free DVD, Christian Dating - Redefined. This special only lasts through Jan. 3rd.
CLICK HERE for all Subscription Plans.
We look forward serving you throughout the New Year!
Kim and Linda
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
This question was posed to us by one of our mentoring clients who is fairly new to the dating scene. He has several possible connections and was unsure to how to approach them. Here's our advice:
Thanks for the note. Wow, you are getting busy! Regarding dating or seeing more than one person at a time, we posed this question to one of our experts, Dr. Stephen W. Simpson. He is not an advocate of forming relationships with more than one woman at a time, but he said it is fine to "get to know" more than one person at a time. In other words, sending emails and first or second dates. Should you decide that you want to explore a relationship with one particular person, then you would let the others know that, and hopefully they will respect that choice.
That being said, it is entirely up to you. You may want to take one at a time. My suggestion to you would be to take _________ out to lunch for a first date, go to the NYE party at church and see what happens there, then step back and see what possibilities still exist. I would probably hold off on circling back with the three gals on the website until after the new year. I hope this helps.
Dating (and dating again) can be confusing and complicated. Get some great advice from Dr. Stephen W. Simpson on how to approach dating with authenticity and a biblical approach by purchasing your copy of Cache' Connections' Christian Dating ... Redefined DVD. Click here for the description, to view the trailer, and place your order!
Monday, December 27, 2010
As we bring 2010 (our third year in business) to a close, we look back and thank God for the many ways he has blessed Cache' Connections. Our list of marriages and committed dating relationships continues to grow, and we continue to hear from members who have grown spiritually and emotionally from the many avenues of help, healing and hope that we have been able to offer. From the recommended reading, chats, blogs, featured speakers at events and now the Christian Dating ... Redefined DVD, singles are able to identify some mistakes they've made in the past and find a healthier approach to Christian dating in the 21st century. As one 50-something member put it, "More than just a dating service, Caché Connections is a comprehensive solution to the relational challenges that I have experienced and has given me much hope and helped to strengthen my faith in this critical area of my life."
Our first Cache' Connections Expo, held on 11/5/10 at Calvary Church in Naperville, Illinois, was a huge success, with over 30 vendors and approximately 250 singles enjoying the games, challenges, prizes and fellowship. We look forward to our next CC Expo at New Life Christian Fellowship in Jacksonville, Florida on 4/2/11!
Regarding Cache' Connections events, as we wrote in a recent blog, "In our ongoing quest to figure out 'what the people want,' the only thing we know for sure is that 'it' always needs to be changing." We had another successful Christmas Mixer in Oak Brook, with approximately 80 guests enjoying lots of chatter! Our hosts were kept busy introducing guests as they arrived, which helped make people feel comfortable as soon they arrived.
To change "it" up for New Year's Eve, we are trying something new ... or is it? We'll have our first Cache' Connections 4-on-4 Connections event at Pompei Little Italy in Schaumburg, Illinois. After enjoying a full Italian buffet meal, we'll settle into our tables of 4 and start rolling the dice! Also known as Bunco, this game is perfect for singles as it's simple, fast-paced and partnerships are ever changing throughout the rounds. There will be prizes and then a non-alcoholic toast to bring in the New Year. Check our Events tab for other events, including 4-on-4 Connections, dinner parties and coffee connections.
Rave reviews continue to roll in from singles and church leaders about the Christian Dating ... Redefined DVD. The feedback from "the Church" has been overwhelmingly positive, and we are particularly pleased to see that college ministries are planning to use it as curriculum in 2011. For more information and to purchase your copy, click here.
We look forward to growing in 2011, and as always, appreciate your help in spreading the word about Cache' Connections to your Christian single friends. We continue to offer free trial memberships to those singles outside of Illinois, Indiana and Florida, and the monthly specials make membership at Cache' Connections an easy decision to make.
Click here for the full newsletter and reminders to members.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
We hope you'll have a wonderful, blessed Christmas and that your hearts will be warmed by the love of family and friends. However, we hope all the more that on Christmas morning each of us will ponder, reflect and accept anew the Greatest Gift ever given - God's Son, Jesus Christ.
From the miracle of Christmas to the small provisions and blessings in each day, may God's love forever bring you peace, hope and joy.
God's blessings to all of you in Jesus' name ~ in this season of love. We pray that God's love will guard & guide you through the coming year.
Kim and Linda
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Our second shipment of DVD's should be arriving soon, and we are urging Christian singles to order their copy today. Why, you ask? Because it's just what you need! At least that's what we've been told by many pastors who have previewed it. Here are some samples of the feedback:
I was so pleased, but not surprised, to see the foundation of Christian dating being built around real, authentic Christianity, using Scripture as the basis for the teaching. Dr. Simpson explained his points and thoughts clearly and concisely,and I am motivated to buy his book to add to my library.
I was particularly pleased with the way he handled the section on Healthy, Holy Sexuality. Once again, his message was clear and left no wiggle room for any misinterpretation. The sections on Authentic Dating, and Electronic Communication were also favorites. They were very important and timely. I am impressed. Pastor John Vaughn - New Covenant Church, IL
I have reviewed it and was very impressed with the quality. The video, music, movement and camera shots and angles were great…reminded me of a Nooma video a bit. I loved that Dr. Simpson changed clothes for every lesson. The length of each lesson was very short and leaves plenty of time for interaction and discussion after watching in a group setting. Dr. Simpson is very easy going and easy to listen to... The bonus material is good as well. Sammy Waller, Northwoods Community Church, Peoria, IL
"Linda, Thank you for the DVD! Christian Dating Redefined is what many Christians singles have needed for years. And, not just the 40 and 50 year olds. The college age singles could greatly benefit. I love "Get a Life before You get a Date!" Reminds me of the guy without a job who couldn't live without a girlfriend....." Jim Miller, LAUNCH Singles
CLICK HERE for full details on the DVD, to view the trailer and to place your order. Maybe your dating patterns need just a few tweaks - or a major overhaul. Your investment of just $19.95 (plus s/h) will open your mind to new ways of thinking, a new approach to dating and new possibilities for the New Year!
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
This is a cute little ditty that helps us understand how love works. While appropriate for everyone, consider as a single how you may have some faulty programs that are inhibiting your love software to run at its full capacity.
Tech Support: Yes, how can I help you?
Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can you guide me through the process?
Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?
Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What do I do first?
Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?
Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?
Tech Support: What programs are running?
Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now.
Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system.
It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs.
Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off?
Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?
Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.
Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?
Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.
Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error - Program not run on external components." What should I do?
Tech Support: Don't worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.
Customer: So, what should I do?
Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.
Customer: Okay, done.
Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.
Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?
Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.
Customer: Thank you, God.
God/Tech Support: You're Welcome, Anytime.
You can't have a healthy marriage without two healthy hearts. Take the time now to examine the condition of your heart and take the steps necessary to find healing. It may just involve a simple prayer, a talk with a good friend or pastor, some reading or professional help. Whatever may have damaged your heart, remember that God came so that you could have abundant life! (John 10:10) In Christ Jesus, we can find healing, hope and love.
May Love be your overriding program this Christmas season and well into the New Year.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Saturday, December 18, 2010
It's time to make your New Year's Eve plans! We hope to see many new and old friends at our NYE Party in Schaumburg, IL at Pompei Little Italy. This event will launch our new Cache' Connections 4-on-4 Connections.
In our ongoing quest to figure out "what the people want," the only thing we know for sure is that "it" always needs to be changing. (Ironically, we thought that "it" always needs to be inexpensive, but that notion has been disproven by our recent Cache' Connections Mixers, which have been priced around $40.)
So back to being different ... they've loved our CCLive! events, our game shows, the speed dating, conferences, the dinner parties and coffee connections, but it seems "they" especially like when we change it up. So for 2011 we are busting out an old favorite dice game commonly known as Bunco. Ever played it? It's absolutely perfect for singles! You may be thinking: Bunco? Isn't that a ladies-coffee-clutch type of game? Don't be fooled! We've talked with some men who have played and enjoyed it. There's even a large group in Raleigh, NC who plays several times a year ... and the men often out-number the women! What a good problem to have!
So after we all enjoy an Italian buffet including assorted pizzas, pastas, salads and lots of desserts, we'll let the games begin! It's very simple to learn and score, so you can chat as the game goes along. But roll and pass quickly, as the more you roll, the better your chances of being a winner! You will combine your score with your current partner, but after each round, the high scoring team will move to the next table ... but switch partners. Whalaa!! Perfect! Oh, and be sure to keep track of your personal Bunco's (which means, for instance, rolling 3 ones during the 5-minute session of rolling for ones.) You'll have a large fuzzy dice tossed at you, and you may win a prize for most Bunco's or last player to roll a Bunco.
We'll take a short break between each round so that you can relax and chat. The games should end around 11:30 pm, just in time for prize awards and pouring the non-alcoholic champagne for our New Year's Eve toast. So come roll in the New Year with Christian singles. Of course, connection cards will be available to share your contact information. CLICK HERE for all details and to get registered!
Have a great weekend!
For a better idea, here's our draft of the playing instructions:
1. There will be 6 rounds in each set of game.
2. We will play 3 games.
2. Each round will include 5-minute segments,
First round rolling for ones, next round rolling for two’s,
then three’s, etc.
4. Player continues to roll as long as they are scoring points, then
pass the dice to the player on their left
4. Players will keep track of their individual Buncos per round
by making a harsh mark on the line at the top of score card
5. When someone gets a Bunco (i.e., roll 3 ones when rolling
for ones) he should yell “Bunco” and the last person
who had a Bunco will toss the stuffed dice to him. The
last person who holds the fuzzy Bunco wins a prize
6. The team with the highest score for the round will move to
the next table. Partners are switched at each new round.
-Players will keep tally of their own rolling scores on back of
1 pt. for each target roll
5 pts. For 3 of a kind (non-target)
10 pts. For Bunco (3 of a kind – target)
-At the end of each round, players will add their score together
with their teammate and enter the score on the appropriate line on
front of score card.
Prizes: Most Bunco’s, Lowest Score, Highest Score, Last Person Holding Fuzzy Bunco
Friday, December 17, 2010
I was recently directed to Erik Erikson' Stages of Development and found it most interesting. Maybe I'm the last to know, as apparently it is included in most rudimentary Psychology classes. Maybe I was sick that day, or too busy seeking loving companionship per Stage 6? The latter is most likely the case.
I was directed to Erikson's theory when discussing the topic of dealing with aging parents with my brother. While I found all stages fascinating, of particular interest was Stage 7. But of course, because "IT'S ALL ABOUT ME!" after all, right? Well on my way through this 7th stage of my life's journey, I can confirm that it's all true. I've seen these truths in my life, my friends' lives and in the lives of the singles that we deal with.
7. Middle Adulthood: 35 to 55 or 65
Ego Development Outcome: Generativity vs. Self absorption or Stagnation
Basic Strengths: Production and Care
Now work is most crucial. Erikson observed that middle-age is when we tend to be occupied with creative and meaningful work and with issues surrounding our family. Also, middle adulthood is when we can expect to "be in charge," the role we've longer envied.
The significant task is to perpetuate culture and transmit values of the culture through the family (taming the kids) and working to establish a stable environment. Strength comes through care of others and production of something that contributes to the betterment of society, which Erikson calls generativity, so when we're in this stage we often fear inactivity and meaninglessness.
As our children leave home, or our relationships or goals change, we may be faced with major life changes—the mid-life crisis—and struggle with finding new meanings and purposes. If we don't get through this stage successfully, we can become self-absorbed and stagnate.
Significant relationships are within the workplace, the community and the family.
We want to contribute; make a difference. We want to pour into someone or a meaningful some-thing. We want to be the boss. Then we hit the mid-life crisis, everything suddenly shifts, and we have the opportunity to look back and decide if we did our job well. Yippee, right?
This stage must be particularly challenging for singles who have not yet married or had children of their own. They are left to find their fulfillment in more creative ways, such as excelling at their work, finding a family to blend into, or getting involved in teaching, mentoring or ministry. The article states: "If we don't get through this stage successfully, we can become self-absorbed and stagnate." Who wants to be that?
The good news is that this is no surprise to God. Psalm 139:16 tells us, "All the days planned for me were written in your book before I was one day old." It is so hard to fathom that God knew ahead of time how we would struggle in life. But even in these struggles, he is working things out for our good, as long as we love and seek Him. (Romans 8:28)
So let's all take heart - and actively take part in our innate purpose. Whether you are single, newly wed, parenting small, oh-so impressional babes, conquering the world, or pondering the past, God has a purpose for every one of your days.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
It's no secret that the Christmas and New Year's holidays can be especially hard on singles. Step One in facing our struggles is admitting them, or bringing them out into the light. Today we read another great article published by Crosswalk.com. Please click HERE to read single Susan Ellinburg's perspective on dealing with the holidays over the years, and how she has learned to make the best of them.
I'm particularly touched by this quote by E.M. Forster: "We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." That reminds me of so many scriptures:
Psalm 118:24 This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.
Psalm 139:16 All the days planned for me were written in your book before I was one day old.
Philippians 4:12b I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.
John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
Hebrews 3:13 But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.
The truth is that few of us have or get all that we want on our Christmas list. While others may have that husband or wife, there may be strife, layoffs or health issues hindering their joy. But our joy comes from the Lord! In fact, I believe we are commanded in Psalm 32:11 to: Rejoice in the LORD and be glad, you righteous; sing, all you who are upright in heart!
So this Christmas season, we encourage you to focus on the gifts and blessings that you do have in your life at this time, beginning with our precious savior, Jesus Christ. Having a thankful heart and focusing on the promises of God are key ingredients to a happy heart over the holidays. And reach out to encourage someone else - see what joy you just might reap in the process.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Today we are playing "Dear Abby." We received this inquiry from a young woman recently:
Hello, I'm wondering, is it right of me, to look for another man, when my heart is dead-set on my ex boyfriend (who says he does not want anyone but me, but is not "sure" right now if he even wants that). I feel like I cannot love anyone else? Or at least, my heart isn't there?
Thanks for the question. You should wait for your heart to heal and continue seeking God's will regarding your ex-boyfriend. It would be unfair to another suitor if you still have feelings for your ex. There's a time for everything: Eccl. 3:1:
1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
Got questions? Submit your dating questions by contacting us. We're here to help you find success in your dating relationships. You will also find a plethora of practical advice on our new DVD titled, "Christian Dating ... Redefined." Click here for details.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
We're on the case for these two eligible bachelors and reaching out to our female audience in our search for their Ms. Right. Can you think of someone who would be a good fit for:
Bachelor No. 1
Bachelor Number 1 is tall, attractive 42 years old and resides in the Chicagoland area. In his words, he "lives in a fishbowl," so the woman he dates and eventually marries will be very special indeed. She will be strong and independent in her own right, yet be able to take her place at his side in his ministry and as his bride. She will have good social skills and be up for some adventures, both large scale and small. Preferably she will be between the ages of 28 and 39 and have a desire to have children. She will be first and foremost a woman after God's own heart and possess a biblical femininity. She will be attractive, fit, not divorced and committed to abstinence prior to marriage. This bachelor will go to the ends of the earth for his special lady.
Bachelor No. 2
Bachelor Number 2 lives in the Peoria, IL area and is an attractive 37 year old professional in the medical field. He has never been married and is looking for an attractive woman who preferably has not been married and wants to have children. Of course, she must be grounded in her faith and he prefers someone who is educated and somewhat independent. This bachelor considers himself a laid-back intellectual who likes to have fun. Here's a quote from his bio: "I feel when two people have a relationship, they should both grow emotionally, vocationally, and spiritually." This bachelor prefers his connection would be in the Peoria, Bloomington, Springfield and close by areas.
So here you go friends. Please help us in our quest for some special ladies for these special guys. If you've always wanted to be a matchmaker, here's your chance. Applicants can take advantage of our December specials - CLICK HERE for details. Please send this blog to anyone who might be a good candidate. We hope to hear from you!
~Kim and Linda
Monday, December 13, 2010
So Happy Birthday yesterday to Linda, my "almost famous" biz partner of Cache' Connections :) As I commented Friday, the term that always comes to mind when I think of our relationship is "iron sharpens iron." It is crazy how God put us together for this business and how we are so different, but yet compliment each other so perfectly for this mission we have been given.
I often think how grateful I am for Linda's persistence and attention to detail; (although her emphasis on grammar can drive me crazy at times.) Speaking about persistence - sometimes I wonder at how she keeps making those phone calls even though we can feel so discouraged it's hard to pick up the phone. Linda is also so gifted in personal relationships with people since she is more of a sanguine personality. Definition: The Sanguine temperament personality is fairly extroverted. People of a sanguine temperament tend to enjoy social gatherings, making new friends and tend to be quite loud. Many of our members consider Linda their friend as she doesn't mind spending time talking with them about their personal issues and concerns.
Overall, it is interesting to see how far we've come in learning how to work as a team and adjusting to each others personalities and skills. I can't imagine having a better business partner to do what we are trying to accomplish through Cache' Connections, which is sending a positive message to society about forming relationships under biblical principles. And really, I consider it somewhat of a miracle that we are able to work so closely together on a day to day basis and still get along after four years :)
So, I want to send Linda my wishes for a wonderful year full of God's blessings and favor! And if you get a moment, send her a bday wish if you haven't done so already. You might want to find her on Facebook at Linda Martin.
Have a great week everyone - and get those presents wrapped and cookies baked!
Saturday, December 11, 2010
The following is an article found at Crosswalk.com, written by Cliff Young. Although rather lengthy, it is well worth reading for both genders.
We often focus on what we will get out of a marriage relationship: Is this person my soul mate? Does she speak to me? Does she affirm me? Do her strengths compliment me? And so forth.
Perhaps it's time to start focusing on what we men can bring to a marriage relationship and to start working on these areas right now in our lives, so that we will have something to bring to the table (a man's dowry, if you will) before making a lifelong commitment.
"It is painful, being a man, to have to assert the privilege, or the burden, which Christianity lays upon my own sex. I am crushingly aware of how inadequate most of us are, on our actual and historical individualities, to fill the place prepared for us."
-- C.S. Lewis from God in the Dock
As men, we are expected (by society) to be cool, dress fashionably, make a lot of money, drive a sports car, have chiseled looks, and have it all together in order to be "marriage material." As Christians, we are to be God-fearing, prayerful, seminary scholars on the path to eldership within our church. Since most of us fall short of these so-called expectations, what can we do to bring the most to our marriages and where do we start? We can begin by delving deep into the following passage.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (Ephesians 5:25).
How did Christ actually love the church? Simply put, through sacrificial and sanctifying love.
As a single adult, the term sacrificial is not at the forefront of my thoughts. My day usually revolves around me, my needs, my wants and my desires. However, for me to prepare to be the best husband I can be, I must begin now to incorporate sacrificial thinking into my daily life.
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh (Ephesians 5:31).
Jesus so loved the church that he gave himself up for her through his death. If we are to love our wives someday as Christ loved the church, we must be prepared to die to ourselves in many ways that are a part of our everyday lives. As two people become one, individual freedom, time and desires should be replaced with (or at least negotiated) with marital goals, obligations and activities.
Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me? (Acts 9:4).
Persecution of the church caused pain deep within Jesus' soul as indicated by His response to Saul. Christ chose to suffer with His bride; husbands must be willing to share in the struggles of theirs. It is not only a commitment, but also a sign of love. Her problems, disappointments and losses become yours; mine and hers become ours.
I pray for them. I am not praying for the world, but for those you have given me, for they are yours. All I have is yours, and all you have is mine. And glory has come to me through them (John 17:9-10).
Jesus spent His time on earth, including his last moments, praying for Himself, for those closest to Him and for the church. One of the most intimate things a couple can do is to pray together. It would only follow that one of the most precious acts that a husband can do for his wife is to pray specifically for her. Don't just make it a "dinner time" prayer, go off each day and fervently cover your future wife in all areas of her life. If you are currently in a relationship, ask how you can pray for her and do it.
I don't know what it will be like to be married someday, but after all of my years of living single, I recognize that I will need to die to myself in many areas of my life, be prepared to share in both the triumphs and the struggles of my wife, and pray fervently for and with my future mate.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word (Ephesians 5:25-26).
Marriage under Christ is a relationship that will bring two individuals closer to Him and cause both to change for the better, making each more holy. It is the responsibility of the man within a marriage to help lead the couple closer to holiness, towards sanctification.
The head of every man is Christ, the head of a woman is the man, and the head of Christ is God (1 Corinthians 11:3).
Today, we have a mixed message of what true leadership is. Is a leader someone who scores a basket or a touchdown and beats his chest drawing attention to himself? Is a leader a politician who uses their position not to serve but to self-serve? Was Adam, our first male role model, a leader by following his wife into sin instead of standing up for what he knew was wrong?
The movie We Were Soldiers, starring Mel Gibson, depicted the life of Lt Col Hal Moore during his service in the Vietnam War. His motto was, "We will all come home together." His men fought for and alongside him so diligently because he led with integrity, by example, and with love. That is true leadership.
To be that kind of leader, who leads a marriage closer to sanctification, we (men) must first place ourselves under the Lordship and authority of God. Only through our relationship with Him can we learn how to live out His Word in our heart, exemplify His Word in our actions and follow His Word in how we love, which will all lead to holiness.
Lead with Integrity
For richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health...till death do us part.
-- Common wedding vows
With the divorce rate hovering around 50%, I often wonder what happens to these vows that are made when a couple says, "I do." A wedding is one of the few times in life where a person makes a public vow in front of God and witnesses, and chooses to enter into a commitment of marriage based upon love, not feelings.
* Love your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind (Matthew 22:37).
* Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you (Hebrew 13:5).
* Do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony (Matthew 19:18).
* Keep the oaths you have made to the Lord (Matthew 5:33).
Leading with integrity in a marriage means memorizing and living out verses like these. If we truly love God and love others according to Scripture, we will honor our commitments and God's commandments will live deep within our soul. When we reach that point, we will lead our marriages with integrity, grow closer to God and to each other.
Lead by Example
In everything you do, stay away from complaining and arguing, so that no one can speak a word of blame against you. You are to live clean, innocent lives as children of God in a dark world full of crooked and perverse people. Let your lives shine brightly before them (Philippians 2:14-15).
When God returned to the Garden of Eden after Adam and Eve ate from the Tree of Life (Genesis 3:8-20), he called to Adam and asked, "Did you eat fruit from the tree from which I commanded you not to eat?" His response was not that of someone who was leading by example. Adam's first words were, "You gave this woman to me..." God calls us to take responsibility for our actions, confess our wrongdoing, and repent.
Marriages need that kind of a leader, one who is willing to admit his wrong and one who is leading under the Lordship and guidance of the Lord. Leading by example doesn't mean bringing attention to your achievements or telling others what they should be doing. A husband can pray in solitude, help his wife without asking, spend time with the children, and show love to his wife through his actions. Whether married or not, we can all lead by example.
Lead with Love
Love is patient, love is kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).
I have heard these words spoken at almost every wedding ceremony that I have been a part of and I wonder if anyone really considers what this verse is saying. Love is patient affects almost every other emotion or reaction in a relationship.
* A patient person is less likely to be jealous, boastful, proud or rude
* A patient person is probably less demanding
* A patient person is probably more forgiving and understanding.
* A patient person is more likely to listen first before reacting (and not react emotionally)
* A patient person is more likely to wait on God
If love is patient, then patience is probably one of the most important traits a leader can have, especially if he wants to lead with love.
Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it....In the same way, husbands should love their wives as they love their own bodies. The man who loves his wife loves himself. No one ever hates his own body, but feeds and takes care of it. And that is what Christ does for the church (Ephesians 5:25, 28-30).
Jesus' message for us is clear. We are to love our (future) wives as He loved the church, in a sacrificial and sanctifying way; we are to love her like we love ourselves. It seems simple enough and it can be if we learn to take our eyes off of us and our personal desires. If we place our eyes on the Lord, we will learn to live more sacrificially with our lives, our time and our prayers. As we do, our lives will become an example of integrity and love to others. This is what we can bring to a marriage.
So men, besides that ugly chair you can't get rid of, what are you bringing to a marriage?
(Originally posted on Crosswalk.com on 12/11/10.)
Have a great weekend~
Friday, December 10, 2010
Member Ray, who is in his 50's, became a member about a year ago. At that time, he was anxious for us to find him a wife. We've seen a lot of growth in him over that period of time, and this testimonial displays that growth far better than we could describe it:
"Caché Connections has raised my level of awareness of the possibilities that are available and are yet to be realized.
The new DVD produced by Cache' Connections, Christian Dating ... Redefined has been life-transforming for me. I have grown immensely from the support that I've received from the leadership, the volunteers, fellow participants, the resources (live events/online/books/chat/blog etc.) and the intercession by the prayer warriors of the Caché prayer team that I know and sense are there, but wish to take no credit for their perseverance in prayer.
More than just a dating service, Caché Connections is a comprehensive solution to the relational challenges that I have experienced and has given me much hope and helped to strengthen my faith in this critical area of my life.
I see Caché as augmenting, not replacing, other avenues for growth and opportunities to fellowship with and befriend Christian women. And Lord willing, date and marry a godly woman. However, Caché is specific and intentional in its purpose and mission and that is so desperately needed, given the disillusionment that many singles experience in our society today.
It's great to be on the leading edge of a movement to change the impasse many singles face in the relational scene where men and women earnestly desire God-honoring friendships, dating relationships and marriages.
May God continue to richly bless those involved in Caché Connections, whether you are in leadership or a participant! I have great hope for the future of this organization, and my hope is that you are in my prayers as often and fervently as I am in your prayers."
Ray has realized the importance of looking at himself and the kind of husband he will be, rather than just having his desires met. We have great hope for Ray and for all members who are willing to do the hard work of looking in the mirror and tending the garden of their heart before attaching that heart to another.
Not yet a member? Check out the December offers on the home page at www.cacheconnections.com.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Yep, we're pretty excited about our New Year's Eve event which is an introduction to a new event that we are unveiling. We'll be in Schaumburg, IL at Pompei Little Italy, an Italian restaurant, for the launch of Cache' Connections 4-on-4 Connections.
But, to get everyone fueled up for this crazy game, guests will first be enjoying an Italian buffet including assorted pizzas, pastas and lots of desserts. The restaurant has promised the food will be plentiful along with the proper amount of servers to fill drink orders.
After the dinner is over, let the madness begin! For those of you familiar with Bunco, the CC 4-on-4 game is quite similar to this, but just polished up in the typical CC fashion for a single's connection activity. If you want a visual, it is up to 80 people sitting at tables of four engaged in this fast-paced game of dice. For each round there will be 2 people with the high score who stay seated and the other two will move to the next table. If you haven't played before, it's very simple to learn and there's not a lot of deep concentration involved. Therefore, it's a great game to get to know other people, even for the most shy personalities. You'll find once you get started, it's easy to get pulled into the fun and laughter. The whole game moves really fast, so there will be no down time or awkwardness expected. So, if you are interested in welcoming in the New Year with about 80 or so Christian singles, make plans to attend this fun event. Who knows, maybe Linda and/or I will join you also.
And for those of you in the Peoria, IL area, we will be partnering with Riverside Church and other area churches for their NYE event which will be held at Riverside. This event is still in the planning stages, so there will be more information coming soon!
By the way, for those of you in Indiana or close to the IN border, don't be surprised if you receive a phone call or email inviting you to a private 8 on 8 Dinner Party. Since our New Year's Eve in Schaumburg is a hike for our IN friends, we are arranging a few private get-togethers for people who we feel might be compatible.
Just one more FYI, be on the lookout for January and February events! There are a lot of things cooking which includes more areas such as Ohio and Florida.
Stay warm everyone!
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
"Joining Cache Connections was a good decision for me. After attending a couple of events with friends, I decided to take the next step and join the online community.
During the past year I have had the opportunity to get to know Kim and Linda better, volunteer at some of their events and meet some new friends.
One of the things that I like best about Cache is the online chat and relationship experts. I've had the opportunity to hear some great messages on dating and now have a better understanding of the opposite sex. (Note I said better....not great. This is an on-going process, but with the help of Dr. Steve and others I'm learning as I go.)
I am currently seeing someone and while neither of us is ready to make any big announcements, we do enjoy spending time together! I would encourage singles of all ages and life stages to give Cache a try....you never know who you might meet online or at an event."
Don't forget - the December specials for Cache' Connections are:
TWO FREE WEEKS for new or expired members! Contact us to make request.
The "Until Married" subscription for 60% off, which is the low price of $139.00, PLUS we'll throw in our new DVD titled "Christian Dating ... Redefined." Use promo code: UNTILMARRIED.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
We're pleased to bring positive reports from both events that Cache' Connections held on Sunday night; the Christmas Mixer in Oak Brook, Illinois and the Coffee Connections in Peoria, Illinois.
It always amazes us when we can get over 80 singles to register for a higher-priced event such as this ... when we struggle to get similar numbers to register for our larger events with a $10 to $20 ticket price. But this time we were ready: we had a very large room reserved at The Clubhouse, and the plan was to serve hors d'œuvres so that fewer tables were necessary and people could stay mobile and continue connecting with new friends. The feedback has been very positive. We had a "very good group" of singles who were greeted by our hosts. As one stated, "I was glad I went--nowhere near my comfort zone, but sometimes God calls us to stretch that zone a little. :-)" There were a few times when it was a challenge to snatch a server and one point when the food was late being replenished, so we've had a chat with the manager and have been assured the service will be even better next time! We've already heard of a few viable connection possibilities, so our prayer that everyone will be blessed for coming out is already being answered!
Peoria likes to make us sweat! This demographic is infamous for waiting until the last minute to decide about attending an event. Add to that fact that singles are also notorious for waiting to pull the plug, and you have two sweaty event coordinators! As of Thursday, we had about seven people registered, only one of which was a male. Canceling an event is never a good option because people may still walk in. So we got on the phone and called a bunch of men, whining just a bit that we may have to cancel the event. Enough of them came through ... in fact enough that we seemed to be lopsided in the other direction! This awkward imbalance continued to teeter-totter clear through until the first hour of the Coffee Connection event, where we finally had 8 men and 9 women - almost perfect! The singles enjoyed the casual atmosphere and opportunity to introduce themselves to some new friends. For some, it was their first time out and a real stretch out of their comfort zone. Again, a few connection possibilities were made ... and we heard of a former member who is in a committed relationship with one of our other members. Always good to hear, even if we are the last to know ~~
You may have noticed that our event calendar is a little sparse at the moment, but that just means that we are busy behind the scenes planning new events, including a possibility for New Year's Eve in Peoria, and thinking about January and Valentine's weekend events for all of our hot spots.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Due to holiday festivities, no doubt, there was just one person in the chat with Expert Emily Shupert from Atlanta, GA. Here are some excerpts from the chat, where the chatter is airing her frustrations in not meeting Mr. Right:
Emily: Here I am :) Glad to help you with any of your dating questions!
Chatter: Well I've got lots of questions! I hope you are ready! I'm in a dating drought. I just don't know what to do.
Emily: Interesting, tell me how long you have been single?
Chatter: I've never had a serious boyfriend. So I would say all my life I've been single (I'm 30 y/o)
Emily: Well, I think that one really wise thing you have done is being proactive through joining cache connections. Have you found any matches online? how long have you been on?
Chatter: Off and on since 2007 (???) not really sure of the first year I tried it.
Emily: Well, you have definitely been giving it a try so that is a plus! How about your social life/work life...are you in an area where you are meeting new people and/or developing deeper relationships?
Chatter: All of my coworkers are married and I'm not really meeting new people.
Emily: That is a problem for sure because you can't meet your husband doing life like it has been done. However, I would encourage you to consider these possible options. I like telling my clients in private practice to not shut down them immediately but try them on to see which is the best fit...not all is one size fits all. One really easy and less direct way to start dating would be to tell your married friends to set you up with their single friends. People who know you will hopefully be willing to set you up with those that they love but might not know you. I'd encourage you to give them some hints on what you are looking for like Christian, age range, etc.
Chatter: I've done that and they don't have friends that fit my hints.
Emily: Even if they don't have anyone in mind, they can be looking out for you and having other people help you with you in mind. Also, make sure that your criteria isn't too narrow because you might be limiting your choices. Another option is your church group....are you active in a church or singles group?
Chatter: Over the years I've widened my criteria considerably .. my church is primarily older members and we have no singles group.
Emily: Ok, that isn't a problem at all. I'd encourage you to continue going to your current church but start plugging in at another church nearby with a singles group that is known for an active singles group. I know that some people feel uncomfortable with that option but honestly, there are few places where you will meet Christians and create quality relationships...def. not found at the bar.
Chatter: So do I just call around to churches and ask if they have a singles group?
Emily: Yes, it is as easy as that! Go around and see which churches you like the most and then get involved. You don't necessarily need to move churches but you can be active in their activities outside of the Sunday church hour through activities and such. Christmas and New Years is a perfect time to plug into new groups and try them out because there are often many parties and activities.
Chatter: I'll be honest that idea is a little uncomfortable to me.
Emily: Understandable but when is doing anything differently comfortable? Many things that require stretching and growth require discomfort....discomfort associated with change allows us to grow and experience new things :)
Chatter: I guess...much easier said than done.
Emily: I think Dr. Cloud or Townsend said, We don't change unless the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change. I might be butchering that a bit but basically nothing that changes is often easy but the more you do it, the easier it gets. I'd encourage you to tell others and have them join you, pray for you, and check in with you on how your search is going....that is what community is for. It is not easy at all to do this process but I have seen clients who have said similar things to you but they took on the challenge to make such changes...now they are in committed relationship. Look at the end of the road and what you are wanting...that will make the discomfort worth it and kept in perspective.
Chatter: Did your clients have any societal barriers? (i.e. race, age, socio-economics, etc.)
Emily: Yes....can't go into it due to confidentiality but they all had challenges and while I'm not saying that you are the same, you can use your challenges to be creative in this process and let God work through them to get you to a fulfilling relationship.
Chatter: If it would be helpful, we can look at some of the barriers that might be in the way.
(Chatter reveals her personal social barrier.) ... but I don't think that other people are as open minded (meaning people in my same socio-economic status)
Emily: That is so unfortunate! Have people been direct in telling you this? That must have been so painful.
Chatter: No one has ever been direct, but I stick out when I go places.
Emily: Well, I think that you probably would feel like you stick out more if you are in a setting where you are the only single person or in a smaller group. However, if you get into bigger groups, there also might be greater diversity. Do you live in a small town by chance?
Chatter: The town isn't small, but it isn't diverse.
Emily: I live in Atlanta and it is a very diverse city but I've also lived in smaller towns...however there were cities nearby that had bigger groups of people and a bigger pool. But 2 hours might be a bit of a drive. Another option is to change your patterns in your daily habits. For example, if you go to the same coffee shop each week, you can change your route and try new places. If you need to check emails on the weekend, catch up on a good book, or whatever, go to a new coffee shop in a more diverse area of town and stay there each week to meet people
Chatter: I guess so..I just don't know what to do anymore. Part of me just thinks maybe I should be content with being single ..maybe that's what God's plan is for me.
Emily: It isn't a huge change of living but it is basically finding new places that you shop, entertain, etc. and then meet them. I know that there are many views on singleness but I interpret it in the Bible that singleness is a gift. If it isn't something you want, I don't think God would give you a gift you disliked unless He changes your heart. It is in His timing and His ways but I wouldn't give up right yet.
Chatter: Its just very frustrating for me, especially since I can see no reason why I'm not "equally yoked" with anyone.
Emily: Totally understandable! It makes sense that you would be frustrated, especially when you are working with all married people and probably feel singled out. If you are feeling frustrated, that is real and honest and I think it is very important for you to be honest with yourself and God about this frustration. With this said, I'd encourage you to put these frustrations before Him and ask Him to fill your path with new people whom you can meet...possible dates or new friends.
As a counselor, I tell my clients that they have the choice to stay stuck in their frustration and let the situation shape their perspective or they can choose rest.
We rest in the confession that things aren't what you want, when you want or how you want....in rest we accept that some things are not complete but in the same sentence, we thank the Lord for what is in our lives (job stability, friends, church).
Chatter: Very true.
Emily: It is a balance of admitting what is lacking while also thanking Him for what we have....gratitude and honest acknowledgment of what is lacking. That will help frustrated hearts find rest in our Father's hands. He knows who you need more than you do but I think that this is an opportunity where you can use the frustration as a treasure in this desert dry time. Christ didn't die for you to live in the desert, He died so that you could live life to the full...not only in eternity with Him but also here on earth.
Chatter: I try to keep that perspective that He wants me to focus or do something else with this time, but I really don't want anything else so thats what makes it hard. I would give up my job, house, car, etc to have someone in my life.
Emily: When we think we will just stick it out in our frustration and take what we feel we have been given, we are camping out in the desert and acting like it is what we are supposed to do...deserts are for walking through, not camping in :)
Yes, you do truly desire it but I would also encourage you to do something that you are passionate about like volunteering, taking a class in the community center, or serve at a new church you find...you will be enriching yourself, honoring the Lord and possibly meeting someone who is interested in the same/similar things.
There are two really great books that I would recommend for you if you are into reading..... One is Choosing Rest by Sally Breedlove and the other is How to Get a Date Worth Keeping by Cloud and Townsend. One is on dating and has a pretty aggressive strategy for dating. I would recommend you read that while also reading Choosing Rest as it helps you keep perspective in the process. I'm so sorry that this has been such a difficult season for you and I know that He doesn't waste any pain or tear! Ok, our time is up and I'm glad that you joined tonight. Best wishes in your future steps and as God leads!
Chatter: Thank you!
Emily: My pleasure. Take care!
We love Emily and her love for the Lord and her special understanding of singles and their frustrations! For more information on Emily Shupert, click here.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Cache' Connections has some very godly ladies who are 50+ and would make very loving, caring, affectionate wives. Many of them claim their fame at cooking and entertaining, too! Unfortunately, there are not enough male members in this age range on the website. So we're giving this "shout out" for single Christian men who are in their 50's, 60's and 70's!
Please pick your brains with us ... and be sure to spread the word to any men in this age range that come to mind. Think about the men at your church, in your Sunday school or small group, your friends parents, your father (if it's not too creepy!) and the guy next door. Christian males from 50-75 are welcome to join the website for free for one month! They can just contact us and we will be happy to assist them in establishing their membership.
As one woman told us, "You're never too old for love." The challenge is to find it. Help us help them!
Friday, December 3, 2010
Most of you have probably heard the popular Christmas carol, "Grown Up Christmas List," composed by David Foster and Linda Thompson-Jenner. Click here to listen. "No more lives torn apart, and wars would never start, and time would heal all hearts. Everyone would have a friend, and right would always win, and love would never end." Such lofty wishes! Perhaps we all guffawed a bit as youngsters - my family moans when I get the Amy Grant Christmas tape out each year. And while it is surely a noble list, many of us weren't quite ready to trade in our well-tended Christmas wish lists.
Speaking for Kim and myself, as we've (eghem) lived, grown and matured as women, mothers and Christ-followers, we're ready to concede that our wish list does in fact now reflect such grandiose ideas. Looking back, I see that in my 20's and 30's I was more about the "things" of this world: wearing the right clothes, having the best toys and opportunities for my kids, the right house with the right furniture and decorations, a car that was comparable to my friends' and neighbors', and on and on.
Now - frankly - I think I'm sort of turning into my mother, who never was one for a lot of stuff (much to my childhood chagrin.) Having survived The Depression as the child of a single mother, she never was afforded the luxury of shopping and keeping up with the Jones's. And as the mother of six children, that was never even a remote possibility. She learned to make do, settle, stretch, and be thankful for what she did have. Looking back, I am forever grateful for the great job my parents did with us kids, and can now recognize the great sacrifices they made to give my siblings and me a better life. (Thanks Mom and Dad!)
These two "foolish for Christ" followers did the almost unthinkable by starting a new business on the brink of an economic downward spiral. Leaving behind our comfortable, well-paying jobs and increasing our debt load tremendously, we were suddenly forced to live a simpler lifestyle. God has been teaching us how to be content in all circumstances, though I must confess there were many threats that I would be turned into a pillar of salt :)
So without further ado, here's our partial lofty grown-up Christmas list, which is very similar to our prayer list:
1. That marriage would be honored by all.
2. That singles desiring marriage would have this desire that God planted in their hearts fulfilled.
3. That singles who need emotional healing would do the hard work of seeking that out in order to be healthy mates.
4. That our members would open their hearts and minds and be able to recognize God's Mr./Ms. Right when he or she comes along.
5. That Cache' Connections would find favor with the Church, recognizing the unique issues of singles and their need for a connection point across the denominational lines.
6. Wisdom and discernment for ourselves, our members and our families in all decisions.
7. That Cache' Connections would continue to grow across the U.S. and make connections that are pleasing to God.
8. That our couples would continually strive to keep Christ in the center of their relationships.
9. God's blessings on all of our efforts.
We've seen our wishes come true to some extent and thank God for that. There's plenty of room for growth, and we serve a great big God, so we continue to hope and trust in the Lord that he will continue to "grant our wishes" as we humble ourselves before him (painful as it can sometimes be!)
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Even though we think our new DVD, Christian Dating - Redefined, is fabulous, we are aware we might be a little prejudice. Therefore, we have sent our newest release out across the nation to several churches of varying sizes and denominations to get their feedback. Here's just one of the excellent reports we're getting:
Linda, I have just finished watching “Christian Dating Redefined” that you were so kind to make available to me. I will have to tell you that as one who has not been in the dating world for over 38 years, this was a really interesting DVD. I see it as an incredibly valuable tool for our Young Adults Ministry, and will pass it on to Pastor _______ to watch and use.
I was so pleased, but not surprised, to see the foundation of Christian dating being built around real, authentic Christianity, using Scripture as the basis for the teaching. Dr. Simpson explained his points and thoughts clearly and concisely, and I am motivated to buy his book to add to my library.
I was particularly pleased with the way he handled the section on Healthy, Holy Sexuality. Once again, his message was clear and left no wiggle room for any misinterpretation. The sections on Authentic Dating, and Electronic Communication were also favorites. They were very important and timely. I am impressed.
Thank you once again for making this available to me and New Covenant. Blessings, John
If you haven't had a chance to preview the trailer, check it out HERE. Also, you can find more information about this DVD on the website HERE. If you're a single's leader or pastor, we'll be happy to send you one for free. Just CONTACT US.
So, if you know of someone who might be interested in some concrete, life relevant dating advice based on a biblical foundation, please help us spread the word!
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
I was talking to a single gal in her 50's who has recently met some men in their 50's who have never married. She is of the opinion such a guy will never be able to make room for a woman in her life. Somehow I knew this would be a hot topic on a Facebook poll. Take a look at some of the many responses:
Walter: Can't help thinking that perhaps the lack of commitment to a marriage [a commitment to ONE woman] might be a hurdle for some to get past. You might look into whether he is looking for a new "mother".
Jill: i say he just has not found the one. it is hard to say with out knowing his past. i have friend headed that way and his reason i see is that he doesn't believe in himself enough.
Laura: I have been divorced for 10 years, out into the dating world. My experience has been that a man who has gone through his adult life without having been married or having a child, becomes very selfish. He lacks the experience of giving and... committing so much of himself. Not saying he's past learning it, but it has become a red flag to me. Also, a man at this age who has never had children, I have found have a harder time accepting mine, simply because they have never experienced the time, money, and what they think may be irrational things parents do for their children.
Nila: Just like the ones that have been married 3 or 4 times. I wonder how mature are they and how serious are they about a committed Godly relationship?
Larry: never make a blanket statement. what about women in their 50's who never have been married? are they any different? you would have to know the reason people have chosen not to marry. good topic. women like to find fault with men along these lines. men might be able to have similar complaints. i know a woman in her 50s, dating and never married. we will see how this one plays out.
Larry: laura, so you are single. (will not ask the age decade.) if you met a man for the first time and could ask 3 questions to help determine if he has long-range potential, what would they be?
Laura: 1. Been married? Children? How many, how old? I know that is more than one question, but they are all in the same category.
2. How long single? and Why?
3. What are your future plans?
I have found it's extremely important to really listen ...and hear the way the answers are given. How the story is told is a very valuable tool. Sincerity, honesty, forgiving, warm-hearted answers are best. If someone complains, blames, accuses and points his finger at the ex, it is meaningless to me. There are always two sides to every story.
Nila: Listening will tell you a lot too. It's amazing what people will say and do that let's you know who they really are. More and more I have found that to be true. It saves a lot of grief down the road if you listen for a while. Some peoples words are much different than their behavior.
Jim: I have friends who both married for the first time at 45+. Both are successful and outgoing. Their key has been the ability to respect one another's space....
Kim: C.S. Lewis married for the first time @ 50 +.
Barbara: It totally depends on their personality and heart... Gotta get to know who they are as individuals before such a blanket statement is made. I've known some bachelors that did fit her concern, but they were either a "wild-child" or self-centered to begin with. I've also known men who said "I do" for the 1st time at ages 49 or 55 that are quite happily married....just took the time to find Mrs. RIGHT!!!
Carey: What!?! This is crazy! I am afraid that when and if God wills that I find that person I will be too obsessive and make her my whole life!
Trisha: it's possible there was a lot of things he wanted to do with his life that if he were married he couldn't do. I'm 40 and I'm that way....It's God's timing and will for our lives....His timing, will, ways are not like ours. Maybe want ever God had for this man to do the man had to be single to do.
As you can see, we have some very smart, insightful and experienced friends! As we always advise Cache' Connections members, keep an open mind about the people God is putting in your path.