Monday, June 27, 2011
What if I'm not so attracted to him?
We hear this type of question all of the time. In fact, we'd venture to say that most couples we know had an attraction imbalance to some degree at the onset. Please refer to my blog post from March, 2011 titled "The Adam Sandler Effect."
If we are completely honest, we all have dreams and ideals of what our perfect guy or gal will look like, whether it's based on Ken and Barbie, Mom and Dad, Mary Tyler Moore and Dick Van Dyke or, heaven forbid, The Simpsons. As a personal example, I recently learned that I wasn't really my husband's "type" that he was typically attracted to. (He was attracted to petite, dark women - humpf!) And to be quite honest, I loomed toward taller men. But there was some -- thing about him, his cute, shy little faces he made, his bright blue eyes and the fact that he was willing to actually take the risk and ask me out on the spot (no games, buddy system, etc.) made me say, heck, why not? An "A" for effort deserves a reward, right? 28 years later, I find myself continuing to reap the rewards of my decision that day to take a chance on my faithful loving husband, Cary.
This is our soap box on which we stand and will continue to preach it from the street corners for all to overhear: keep your mind open. Just this week we spoke to a member who has been dating her guy for a year and a half. At first, she wasn't sure she was attracted to his online photo, but she decided to give it a shot and return his message and eventually agreed to meet him. Long story short, they are now making plans to erase the 100 miles between them and become man and wife. They've had their share of issues to iron out - blending families, healing from past relationships and long distance dating are always a challenge. But I don't think "attraction" was an issue since their first meeting. They were immediately attracted to each others' hearts. And that, my reader friends, is the heart of the matter.