Friday, June 24, 2011
Don't we all need a coach?
Yesterday I was speaking with a Cache' Connections member who signed up for the Cache' Mentoring Services. (Though this service is time-consuming and under-priced, I love it.) Having been married for several years, divorced for a few and new to the dating world, she felt a little lost. Like too many others, she told me that she never planned on being in this position, but here she is, and she was humble enough to reach out and ask for help.
Navigating the sea of relationships is challenging, and that is true from the tentative beginning until "death do us part." But dating can be especially confusing for Christians for many reasons. There is little guidance from the Church, but the world sends constant, heavy doses of the wrong approach to dating. In fact, it seems that many Christian singles have thrown in the towel because they silently suffer from anxiety and are fearful of rejection and being hurt (or hurt again.) These are among the many reasons why we produced the "Christian Dating ... Redefined" DVD featuring Dr. Stephen W. Simpson. Check it out!
First I want to remind you that there is no reason to be ashamed of that longing you have for a mate. Everyone has a basic desire to be known, understood and loved. And that engineering genius comes from God. The 2nd Chapter of Genesis, verse 18 says: "The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
What to do with that longing in the waiting can be tricky. It's important not to make finding a mate your do-all-end-all goal in life. Frankly, that just sends the message that you are desperate, and that is never attractive and is likely to attract unhealthy potentials. So be sure that you identity in Christ is secure and that you have other interests that will make you an interesting prospect. More about that in the DVD.
Back to what I wanted to say today ... my mentoring friend really appreciated the tips, advice and insights I gave her. It's funny ... at the onset of the call, I wasn't even sure what I was going to say. But I had prayed beforehand and asked God to help me help her, and I'm just now realizing, He did! After chatting a while about her connections, she admitted that she was perhaps too quick to dismiss some possibilities, and we saw her eyes being opened on some new approaches to communication and how men tend to think. But I don't want to give away all my secrets.
My point is, whether you are single, married, in college, a young mother or on the road to a fruitful career or even retirement, don't we all need a little coaching? Don't we all need someone to hold our hand, if even for a little while before we venture out onto the ice by ourselves? The word of God also tells us in Proverbs 16:18: Pride comes before disaster, and arrogance before a fall. So don't be afraid to ask for help. God put us here for each other.