Thursday, June 16, 2011
Now who can I pick on?
Well, let's see. Recently I've picked on those who need to exercise, those who are waiting for the perfect time to get married, those who don't attend events, those who aim too high, those who are too picky, those who are selfish, fearful, cheap, too busy and those who don't upload photos but complain because nothing is happening. What's left??
Ahhhh. Dealbreaker No. 1 in many cases: Smoking. Only a very small percentage of Cache' Connections members admit to being a smoker. This is a really tough issue on several points, and believe me when I say that I see all sides. (Draw your own conclusions.)
Okay, we all know that smoking stinks and is very risky for your health. We also know that it is an extremely difficult habit to quit. As a society, we've come a long way - I remember my first office job, where my co-worker sat three feet next to me with a cigarette burning in her ashtray throughout the day, and no one thought much of it. Now smokers are practically treated as outcasts and are made to feel like second class citizens. Really, that is not our intent. It just stinks.
At Cache' Connections, we are working with a few clients who smoke through our Arranged Blind Date Services. Both are what I would consider "considerate" or "closet" smokers. One told me, "If I knew I had a date that night, I wouldn't even have a cigarette that day, much less in front of the woman." That is very considerate, indeed. He doesn't feel that his smoking is a big deal in his pursuit of finding a woman, because he can quit when he finds the right one. I had to gently explain to him that it might be okay for the first date. But if the relationship continues to develop, his smoking is eventually going to become apparent and no doubt an issue. For one thing, she may feel deceived (never a good launching pad), and for another, the more time you spend together, the harder it is going to be to pretend in any way that you do not at times smell like smoke or desperately need a cigarette. Even if you only smoke outside, you bring it in with you. And to say you are going to quit? Well, like the insurance companies say: Show me the money. Show me your plan, sign an Affidavit and report back to me within six months with another Affidavit. You can say anything you want to - the proof is in the pudding.
So what's the solution? Should smokers expect non-smokers to "get over it"? I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but we all know the best answer. In fact, I won't even say it because you think about it 25 times a day. Even if you switch to the electric cigarette or the gum or any other replacement clutch, it is still a monkey on your back. We who have placed our trust in faith in Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior have the power of the Holy Spirit to do in and through us what we could never even hope to do in our own strength. The thing is, you gotta want it, and you have to believe that you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. (Philippians 4:13) This goes for all of those I've picked on recently :)
Tomorrow I'll try to say something nice. I promise.