Tuesday, June 7, 2011
A single leader calling singles "rebellious."
I recently struck up a Facebook friendship with this pastor who is ministering to singles outside of the U.S., although he is from the U.S. I shared with him our concerns that the Church, by and large, is not interested in helping singles find their mate, even through a healthy Christian avenue such as Cache' Connections, although they are always ready to help people with other personal needs such as pre-marriage counseling, divorce or addiction recovery, parenting, financial freedom, etc. Here's what he had to say:
With regard to the Church and singles, in some ways that's true, but in my experience as a single adult and watching other singles, I have developed a theory which I have seen born out more than once. Single people are the most "rebellious" and independent people on the planet. By the nature of our singleness, we do what we want, when we want, with whom we want, and we generally have the money to do what we want, and we rarely make firm plans because there is always something better which we may want to do. We often times give lip service to spiritual leadership because we are independent in everything we do...we work, we support ourselves, we manage our own homes, etc, and so with regard to spiritual accountability we tend to make decisions, and then seek pastoral approval rather than seeking spiritual counsel before making those decisions. And that is most often times seen in bad relationships and broken lives. And our "dating" lifestyles don't help that much. Single people tend to isolate almost immediately upon begin to date and that tends toward some potential issues. Privatization as an American right has often been confused with sensible accountability. :-) And, of course, that does not apply to everyone and some singles and churches have handled this better than others. But as a general rule, I have seen the same born out here. It's just who we are and trying to help people find a godly and healthy balance is never easy.
I'm not even sure if his comment is an answer to my initial concern, unless he is stating that the Church is not interested in dealing with this "rebellious" segment, or is he saying that singles wouldn't accept the help, or ...? Your thoughts?