Monday, January 4, 2010
Should he continue to date her after 3 breakups?
Last night on my Facebook page we had a chat about a guy who was inquiring whether he should continue to see a gal who has broken up with him three times. Well, actually, Guy No. 1 didn't show up, due to a headache. But, Guy No. 2, who was in a similar situation, came to the rescue. So he received a plethora of dating advice from some of my wise friends. Here's a taste:
Girl: He's unwise if he decides to do that. That doesn't ever work.
Girl: I agree. Sounds like she has commitment and control issues.
Guy: There's no need to focus on the short term positives. We're in this for the long term. Someone that chooses to "end" a relationship multiple times in the short term doesn't really get what it's all about. Find closure and move on.
Girl: Looks aren't everything... sometimes unfortunately pretty girls = problems too.. LOL
Girl: Age does matter, also the maturity level, length of the relationship , including the on and off points.
Girl: Good looking guys tend to think they can get any girl they want and end up being extremly cocky along with their huge ego's... very true Linda! :)
Girl: Dr. Phil....past behaviour is a good indicator of future behaviour
OK, my first question is: What caused the break -ups? And why did they get back together. It sounds like she is using him as a fall back. He's in love--she isn't.
Guy: If i was Rick i would try to figure out after the 3rd time what makes it different from any other time.. If it seems to be the same old thing and she cant stay true. I would give her a taste of her own medicine! "Kick her to the curb"
Girl: Just as Melissa said, if you weren't ready, you won't really be able to make it work right that moment, but later on after the healing process definately a different story! :)
Girl: If someone has moved on, I find it very difficult to go back w/ them. There is too much baggage. You are better off to cut all ties if possible and take time to heal again. The length of the relationship (over 3 years) warrants a time of healing again for you.
Girl: Tom, don't beat yourself up. You are doing the right thing and seeking God's guidance. and taking your time. That is what is hardest for me to grasp, that what God has in store for me can't be rushed. lol
If anyone needs free dating advice, just ask one of my 1,686 friends - they're happy to help :)