Friday, July 9, 2010
Tough (non) Love
I was talking with a member the other day who had engaged in conversations, both via email and one telephone call, with another member. Soon after their friendship sparked, she realized something personal about him that she felt was a deal-breaker for her. She wanted some advice from me on how to break it off without hurting his feelings.
Usually the story is reversed ... and it goes something like this:
Boy meets girl (thinks she's pretty.)
Boy asks girl out.
Boy and girl go out on a date.
Boy says "I'll call you."
Boy does not call girl.
Girl is left wondering, day after day, week after week.
There's such a thing as intentional dating (for which a blog is due) but today we are talking about intentional non-dating. What does that mean? Simply this: if you are no longer interested, don't leave the other person hanging. It is immature to simply not return calls, texts or emails. All you need to do is send a short note or text and state that you don't feel this is a good connection. You DO NOT need to give a reason. It could be hurtful and will not necessarily be an issue with the next suitor who comes along. Additionally, it's great if you can give him or her a compliment or word of encouragement. This goes for on- and off-line connections and dates.
In the event you are left hanging ... if you haven't heard from him or her in two weeks, consider this a non-connection and don't take it too personally. Trust that God is leading you, and perhaps protecting you from something. Dating is risky business, so ALWAYS remember to guard you heart and keep Christ first in your heart, "and then all these things will be added to you" - in God's time.