Thursday, July 22, 2010
5 Simple Rules for Asking Her Out by Dr. Steve
This is Part 2 of the blog post on July 20, which was focused on how to talk to a girl, taken from "What Women Wish You Knew About Dating" by Dr. Stephen Simpson. Today we finish Chapter 8 with these simple rules on asking a girl out:
... but before we begin, make sure you've had one hour of conversation with her, and have assessed them to make sure there is mutual interest. Now:
1. Ask her when the two of you are alone. Nobody wants to be embarrassed.
2. Ask her at the right time. Not on the day her dog died, she has finals or an especially stressful week.
3. Make sure she knows it's a date. This is a biggee. Don't ask her to hang out or go to a singles ministry event if your intentions are romantic. She shouldn't have any reason to think you're asking her for anything other than a date. The beginning of relationships is confusing enough as it is, so don't let her think you are still operating in the "friend zone." Say, "I'd like to take you out sometime" or "How would you feel about going out with me sometime?" Single women are dying for this kind of thing. Bring it!
4. Evaluate her response. The number 1 response you're looking for is "I'd love to." Other good responses are "Sounds like fun" "great/cool/awesome" and even "sure." Don't worry if the response is positive but less than enthusiastic; she might be trying to keep you humble. However, if she gives an excuse of any kind, that is a "no." Don't try to rationalize it. The only time an excuse is not a no is when she immediately offers an alternative date. If you get an excuse, don't suggest going out another time. Just say, "That's too bad. If you're ever free and want to go out, let me know."
Research has shown that women are more cautious than men when agreeing to go on a date. Men are willing to forge ahead with the Three C's (Christian, Cute, and Cool), but women take more factors into account before agreeing to a date. They think about everything from children to safety. So be sure she gets a chance to know you before she offers a quick rejection!
5. Be ready to make plans on the spot. Act as if you expected a positive response and come back with something like, "great, how about Saturday at 7:00?" Then tell her you will call her later to make plans.
When to call? Not the next day. Not the day before or the day of the date. Show consideration for her time and planning, but it's good to heighten anticipation a bit. The phone call between the asking and the date, however, is essential. And don't just make plans. Find something else to talk about so that she knows you are interested in her life.
NEXT WEEK: Dr. Steve himself will be leading the chat! He will be recapping the first 8 chapters beginning at 9:00 pm CST. Join the fun!