Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Should we be "just friends?"
Another Facebook poll speaks! What a great way to get a pulse on today's dating trends. Yesterday we posed this question: If someone says they want to be just friends, should you try to be just friends, if your aspirations are for much more? Here are some comments:
1. No. (I like a man of few words!)
2. Sure... If you're good enough friends, it might turn into more. But then again I wouldn't fall madly in love.
3. I have found that often when people say "just friends" they are just trying to be polite. What they often mean is "please give me some space for a while, and then maybe later we can be friends." When I am interested in someone, it is hard to be just friends because I have a tendency to hold out hope for more. I am able to be just friends, but it takes discipline to not hope for more and to "release them" from my hopings.
4. From a singles pastor: Well. If you are able to respect the boundaries of friendship I say yes. If you like them you will probably like their friends. There you might meet someone who is ready for relationship. Networking is key to finding the love of your life.
5. Sure as long as the person that says they want to just be friends acts like it, and doesn't act like someone you've dated (giving you gifts for no reason, calling you all the time to talk, etc). Nothing confuses someone more than by sending mixed signals!
6. I think it is possible to be friends if you dated someone and it didn't work out; however, if your aspirations are more, I really don't think it is a good idea. I think it would cost too much unnecessary hurt on your part. I have a saying for my Cache friends: Don't let someone be a priority in your life when you are not an option in their life. (*like*)
7. I found my self in that situation not long ago. After pursuing her for a while to become a potential candidate for a boyfriend and telling that person that she was someone I was interested in, she told me she just wants to be friends, I felt completely deflated and then I automatically stop the gifts and the invitations...
8. I say "stay friends". Will I put effort into the friendship? I don't know...life is too short to put effort into something that is going nowhere, but if she needs me for some reason I will be there.
9. I think so, but I agree that it's hard to do. You have to constantly check your motives for doing things with and for that person. Are you going to extra lengths in hopes that they'll change their mind? Is the thing that you're doing something that you would do for other friends or only this "special" friend? Be Honest!
Wow, we have some wise friends and fans! I think the consensus is to be very careful in such a relationship. Our advice would be to pray about it and ask some godly advisers if they think this is a good idea for you. Always, always guard your heart! (Proverbs 4:23) ... for it is the wellspring of life!
Our fan page is growing! Not a fan? Not a "Facebooker"? It's a great way to network and get another peak behind the scenes of Cache' Connections! CLICK HERE to be linked to our fan page and consider joining the fun! Who knows, your opinion could make a difference in someone's life!