Is singleness punishment from God?

This question was posed to one of our experts: "Is this a punishment from God? Why I am still single? So many of the friends I grew up with are married now....even the kids younger than me are all married now too. I feel like an odd-ball. I know I need to wait upon the Lord, but for how much longer?"

Emily Shupert had this to say:

Great question Shaina! Though I'm sad to hear that you are going through a struggle with your singleness right now, I want you to know that God appreciates your honesty and desires that you pour out your heart, longings, and feelings towards Him. There are no "easy answers" for this question and definitely no way for us to know why one person gets married young and another gets married later in life. We can guess and make assumptions, but ultimately, this is not ours to know fully....it's in God's control and in His timing.

However, I encourage you to be totally honest with the Lord about your desires to get married. Many times we try to shield the Lord from our feelings of anger, frustration, and discouragement. This is not helpful because when we hide our emotions, we cannot be honest with the Lord about where we are in this process. God says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and heavy laden" not "come to me, all you who have it together, praising God that you are single, and always loving life without a husband/life." Think about it, it's a bit absurd to candy coat our prayers, but sometimes that is the way we think it must be with God. He doesn't want our polished prayers, He wants our hearts' desires humbly and vulnerability opened before Him. So feel the freedom to say, "God, I'm upset and angry when I see another friend getting married. I feel like you have forgotten me and I feel like I'm being punished by being single. You know my heart Father, you know I desire to be married and I'm upset that this desire has not seen any answers. I pray and ask but I get nothing in return."

While prayer is not going to find you Mr. Right, it will bring you in a closer direction because in the process of praying, He will be changing your heart and preparing you to be a life mate. He will help you to release your control and to submit to His timing, ways, and methods for your meeting potential dates. Prayer helps to calm the anxious heart and helps us to fix our eyes on His desires for us and not simply our desires alone. While honesty with the Lord through prayer is only one component of what you can do, it is a very large factor that will reap great reward in your single life and your years down the road. Praying for you in your journey!

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grace and peace,

Emily Shupert, LAPC, MABC

GROW heal.live.lead, llc
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