One of our single friends posed this question anonymously:
"Could a kiss turn a "maybe" into a "yes" if you are on the fence with your feelings for someone you have been on several dates with or would that be putting the cart before the horse?"
While our friend was actually asking for a poll on Facebook, we thought this was a question we could answer with a degree of confidence. It is something that is addressed in Cache' Connections' new DVD, Christian Dating ... Redefined. Allow me to share "Dr. Steve's" (Stephen W. Simpson) opinion on this topic.
Dear Anonymous,
Great question! I can understand your frustration in trying to decide if this is a love connection or not. However, we feel that kissing is not the answer. Here's why:
Your level of physical intimacy should never be more advanced than your emotional connection. While a pleasant kiss could certainly tip the scale, it could very well be for the wrong reasons. If you allow your physical intimacy level to be more advanced than your emotional connection, your reasons to maintain the relationship could very well get blurred. Kissing is a very intimate act that should be enjoyed by two people who are committed to a relationship. Once you involve any level of physical intimacy, even holding hands, there are many physical, chemical and emotional bells and whistles going off that are perhaps too premature to deal with, when you are not sure if you have a solid foundation.
We would recommend, instead, asking yourself (and having a frank discussion with your guy) if the two of you have similar values, life goals and world view, do you enjoy one others company, do you highly anticipate the next time you will see each other, etc. If the answers to these questions (and others) are an agreeable yes, then hopefully you can each state your intentions about being committed to the relationship and seeing where God leads it. In our opinion, then, to kiss now would indeed be putting the cart before the horse :) (However, I'd like to be a little mouse in the room after this discussion if it leads to a resounding yes from both of you!)
What is your opinion?
For more information on Christian Dating ... Redefined, CLICK HERE.
~ Linda
Cache' Connections
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1 comment:
If you've been on SEVERAL dates with this guy (I assume your a woman), and you have feelings for him, then go for it! Yes, a kiss will change the situation around! Isn't that why you're dating anyway? To seek a love connection and find Mr. Right?
I don't recommend kissing the first three to four dates...wait for the right time...and most of all listen to your heart!!
Dear Cache Founders, I just feel that many christian singles are getting caught up in the "rules and regulations of modern day christian dating" that they're failing to "feel" and listen to their hearts.. we need to remember that love is beautiful!! and it's worth taking the risk and diving in!
Female, 40+, IL
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