Wednesday, November 24, 2010
How do I learn to trust again?
A friend asked us this question, having been cheated on by his former wife and a former girlfriend. Here's what some of our Facebook friends had to say about regaining trust:
Joy - Fully rely on God!
Vicki - It is not easy to learn to trust again. I am still struggling with trusting someone. I do rely on God, but in the back of my mind, I do not trust. It is a struggle.
Stan - Forgive.
Anonymous - I think the second time around I am wiser and more intuitive to deceit and unauthentic men. I try and ask better questions to find out their character. I am generally a trusting person so it is hard at times but with GOD I can do it. He has given me discernment. I can smell a rat much quicker : ) Trust is the foundation of all relationships and it HAS to be built one brick at a time...one step at a time. Building a friendship first is key!
Jody - Sometimes you don't and sometimes you can't.
Jill - time and meeting the one person that makes you feel safe.
Jodi - You learn to trust in the Trustworthy One because He alone is the one who truly never disappoints. You also learn to trust in yourself. You trust that you will survive if it happens again after all look who is on your side. But it would be tragic to never trust again just on the chance you might get hurt. Love is a precious gift. Don't let your hearts be hardened. Learn from the past then let it go and move on!
Jill - I guess I took it as after that relationship is done how do you trust a new person. As far as staying in the marrage you don't ever trust 100% again.
Jerry - I believe there are many factors to consider here, The Marriage vow a couple make to each other, before God and in the presence of their friends and family is a very serious and holy commitment! Just as is the vow we take to serve Jesus, when ...we are saved. Do we ever stumble and disappoint God in our relationship with him?? If or when we do will God take us back with a truly repentant heart?? Are we to live any less in forgiveness??? or do we discard someone we loved and are committed to because we are hurt and our trust in them was shattered?? As far as the other factors here, is this a way of life for the spouse? is this spouse been abusive in other ways also?? When we are young and first married we think we are bullet proof to infidelity, then in the long journey of life, the devil and his evil plans will take over many, in a moment of sin! Must we forget and walk away or continue in love and in forgiveness, also trusting in our Lord to heal our wounded Marriage, as we continue together holding what is good and holy, and growing in our Lord and Savior Christ! In the end the only one who we can put complete trust in is the one who made us, and died for our sins, otherwise we are loving blindly to love another like we are to love him.
Whew! Heavy stuff! Aren't you thankful that our Heavenly Father specializes in heavy stuff - exchanging beauty for ashes?
Isaiah: 1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,[a]
2 to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes, the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.