Friday, November 19, 2010
Why is dating again so hard?
This is a question we hear often. Seems no one who is in the age range of 30 to 60 finds dating as easy as it was when they were younger. It didn't take long for us to learn the answer to this question. We are dealing with hurting people. It is a harsh reality, but singles in this age range are dealing with:
- ticking biological clocks
- unmet desires
- fallout from divorce
- painful breakups
- deep emotional scars from as early as childhood that may or may not be identified
- sexual temptation
- mixed messages from the world and the Church
- single parenting issues
- financial issues
- feelings of inferiority
Well, the list goes on and on but you get the gist. Let's face it, we were much less jaded and much more naive in our teens and twenties.
Don't we all wish that things could be easier? I know, for instance, when Kim and I started Cache' Connections, we thought we were just going to put up a website and sit back and watch the sign-ups roll in. Ha! We couldn't have been more wrong. It quickly became quite evident that God had a much bigger job in store for us. He knew that his unmarried people needed an advocate, an avenue for community, support, understanding, instruction and much more.
I'll never forget what one single woman told me over the phone in our first year of business/ministry. We had scheduled a dance in Peoria, IL that we ultimately had to cancel due to few sign-ups. This woman encouraged me, telling me that she really appreciated what we were doing and how much needed it was. She went on to inform me that singles are fickle and don't like to make their plans until the last minute; they are really hard to get a commitment out of, but she really encouraged us to go on with what God had laid on our hearts to do. That was hard to hear, but encouraging at the same time.
We know that God does his best work on us in the hard times. If life were easy, we'd have no reason to lean into God. Kim and I have learned so much in the nearly 4 years since starting Cache' Connections. There have been some very tough (and expensive) lessons. Through it all we've had to fully rely on God - wouldn't think of operating any other way. You can learn from your dating life, too. Relationship experts often say that you can learn about yourself as much as you have an opportunity to learn about the person you are dating.
God may be trying to show you something about YOU in your dating. We just want to encourage you today to hang in there, as we have, and continue to listen and be aware of how God is trying to grow you. He has great plans for you and me (Jer. 29:11), but those great plans may well be realized on the journey to what we THINK we want ...
Have a great weekend!