Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Should he play the field?
We received a call from a member who had wonderful things to say about his experience with Cache' Connections. He especially appreciates the way we pray for our members. He went on to share that he had been a first date this past weekend that went extremely well. You know ... the kind where you lose all track of time? Gotta love that! Being recently returned to dating, he had a lot of questions, particularly about how to handle his other connections.
I've learned to answer questions with questions :) I asked him about the date, his feelings, her response, their current communications, and what their plans are to see each other again. I then told him that some people simply cannot handle seeing more than one person at a time, and that is totally fine. In fact, drudging up old dating memories of my own, I seem to recall feeling confused and a bit deceitful when dating more than one man at a time - not that it was a recurring issue.
I went on to tell him that we've also seen some people who act too quickly, put all their eggs in this one basket, only to see a different side of the person shortly into the romance. Then they are changing their relationship status on Facebook, answering lots of unwanted questions, and trying to reconnect with online connections that they'd put off. What is the answer?
I proposed a middle ground, if he is up for it. I suggested he continue pursuing the budding romance, but not to cut off his other connections that he is interested in. Then, when the relationship starts to get more serious, it's time to gently tell your other friends that you have chosen to pursue one relationship in an "intentional dating" fashion. (For blog on intentional dating, click here.)
This was also a hot topic of discussion in one of our chats in The Meeting Room. How would you handle this situation?