Sunday, August 7, 2011

Is it easier to meet singles at a small church or a larger church?

This was the question of the day posted on Facebook on Friday. While the responses are somewhat predictable, what strikes me is that more than anything, these singles wanted to be heard:

Rick: small.

JoAnn: I don't think the size makes as much of a difference as much as whether or not they have a singles group or activities. If they do, that helps enormously.

Barbara: JoAnn nailed it!!!

Larry: easier to meet in a small church, but the selection can be limited.

Rian: Both for as long as single christians know where to go and meet. Like a meet & greet area with some snacks after the service would be nice. Then set a once a month dinner / activity for consistency.

Rick: Ok maybe but my church is pretty big with a good singles group but rarely meet anyone.

Cari: depends is they have a singles ministry or not : )

Tim: It seems that large churches "gatekeep" singles into age-distinct groups, which makes it hard if you are interested in someone younger or older.

Amy: I'd say large/larger church. I grew up in a small church and was either related to most of the people there, or just friends with the others.

John: Neither. Churches seem more concerned with keeping people apart rather than encouraging them to get married. The trend now is, if you are a Christian and want to meet someone, it won't be at a church.

Michael: Large.

Tim: I would say Neither, but also agree that the options would be greater in larger churches. I go to church (a large one in Springfield, IL) for teaching and fellowship in attending services, my Singles Sunday School class and its related activities (small groups, Friday night volleyball fellowship, etc.), and other church service projects with the intention of learning and fellowship, and serving God's Kingdom primarily. Although I yearn to meet someone, I don't go to church just solely to meet a woman. If it happens in a church-related setting, so be it as it is part of God's plan. I never want to do anything to make anyone else uncomfortable--so I feel I need to be careful and watch/respect others' boundaries particularly in church settings (but also elsewhere in public too). I guess I just want potential relationships to come naturally, as I have thought that those are the best kinds of relationships (rather than one party coming onto another).

It has been our finding that singles, by and large, do not attend smaller churches. Attending a larger church will afford more opportunities to meet singles if you get involved. Simply walking in and out of church and worshiping among hundreds or thousands is not an appropriate method for meeting people. Having a singles ministry is helpful, but there are always singles that do not attend such groups. So the key is to find a ministry that appeals to you, keep your eyes and mind open and see what connections you might make!

~ Linda
Cache' Connections

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