Wednesday, August 10, 2011

About Dealmakers and Dealbreakers

Some Cache' Connections members struggle when it comes to writing out what we call "dealmakers" and "dealbreakers" on their bio. To define, a dealmaker would be a quality or circumstance that would be extra nice - like the icing on the cake. A dealbreaker would be something that you absolutely cannot tolerate. It's funny how some people draw a blank on these things, and others use one line item (out of 5 possible) to double or triple up.

Below I've given samples of some common dealmakers and dealbreakers that we see on members' profiles. We often suggest that members go ahead and submit their profile before filling out this section, then take a look at some of their connections' 'makers and 'breakers, which will give them some ideas. Cache' Connections members can revise their profile at any time by revisiting My Questionnaire after logging into their account.

I'd like to add some recommendations on what we would NOT consider to be dealmakers and dealbreakers. If you are a Cache' Connections blog follower or member, you know that we always encourage members to keep an open mind and to let God lead. What's important to remember is that this is niche dating. Because you are committed to connecting to other believers, the "market" is already smaller than the market for those for whom this command (2 Corinthians 6:14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers...) is not important. So when I hear a member say that they did not consider a connection because, for instance, he drives a motorcycle or she travels a lot as a leisure activity, I have to shake my head in wonder. Really? Travel is a dealbreaker? If two believers meet and find a special connection or chemistry, isn't travel and motorcycle riding something that can be discussed and compromised? Just something to think about.

Sample Dealmakers:
1. loves kids, wants kids
2. kids are grown
3. spiritual leader, someone to pray with
4. takes good care of self: spiritually, emotionally, physically
5. someone taller than me
6. likes deep conversations
7. and let's not forget someone who can have fun going out on the town or simply staying in to watch a movie! (Sorry - I couldn't resist!)

Sample Dealbreakers:
1. not interested in being part of my kids' lives
2. negative attitude; lack of faith
3. smoker
4. lack of financial stability
6. someone who lies, cheats
7. couch potato
8. someone who is abusive, self-centered, addicted to drugs/alcohol ...

One final suggestion is to NOT use these precious line items addressing the same topic under both categories. For instance, if "loves kids" is a dealmaker, don't put "hates kids" under dealbreakers. That can be assumed and addressing different topics under both categories allows you more space to reveal your likes and "can't stands."

Praying all your dealmakers come true ...

~ Linda
Cache' Connections

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I think oftentimes, in order to avoid seeming mean, people will resort to leaning away from admitting that a person was not physically attractive to them. They'd rather say something like "s/he likes to travel" as an more palatable excuse. For some reason, it's easier to everyone to digest, and feelings aren't getting hurt.