Friday, March 11, 2011

Is a negative attitude holding you back?

Yesterday I spent a bit of time calling people who attended our recent 4-on-4 Connection Party in Orland Park. We like to ask for feedback from time to time so that we can continue to improve our methods and strategies. Most everyone is happy to render their opinion, and by and large the feedback is positive from the Christian singles who truly appreciate our efforts to connect them.

I spoke with one female, however, who didn't have one positive comment. She informed me there were 8 men there, when in fact I corrected her with a count of 16, which is just under 50%. (I was there, I should know, I wanted to say!) She even admitted that she came with a friend with no expectations of meeting anyone. She complained that she never meets men at events (how is that possible??) and then told me several tales of her past online dating experiences on free sites and one popular secular one. Her major complaint was that men wanted to meet before exchanging emails. While I can admit that would make most female online daters uncomfortable, I can think of worse things that could happen. As I continued to "drink from her fire hose," (which somehow included the fact that because she has daughters, she can't participate in online dating), it became obvious that the common factor in all of her tales was the main character, herself.

We are all subject to negative thinking, myself included. The enemy of our soul delights in our "poopy pants" attitude. I was reading a devotional on negative thinking just yesterday - hmmmm...

Joyce Meyer wrote, "We undermine Satan's attempt to establish a stronghold in our minds when we admit, "God, I'm a pessimistic person." That's the beginning. Then we cry out to the Holy Spirit to search our hearts. Jesus said of Him, "... He will convict and convince the world and bring demonstration to it about sin and about righteousness (uprightness of heart and right standing with God) and about judgment." (John 16:8) Too often, we read the word world and smile. Yes, that's for those sinners, those people who don't know Jesus. That's true, but it's only partially true, because we also live in the world.

We - God's people - need that conviction, as well. We need the Holy Spirit to probe deeply inside us and help us grasp why we're afflicted (my emphasis added) with negative thinking."

I believe Satan wants singles to be afflicted with negative thinking. He wants them to remain single and outside of community and relationships, which is God's design. We need to realize that the enemy of our souls is also the enemy of marriage. We encourage singles to prayerfully examine their hearts and attitudes, and ask God to bring light to their minds and new life to their hardened hearts. For many, it won't be easy. It may take some hard work and even professional help to uncover our soul wounds - we all have them. But as one who has been through such a process myself, I can attest that it's worth the hard work, expense and tears.

Genesis 50:20 But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive.

~ Linda
Cache' Connections


Anonymous said...

There are aspects of this attendee's comments that do ring true. I have never met anyone at an event. I have had some good conversations with some of the women, but the men are all older, never married, divorced, widowed, nothing that I find interesting at all. I have expressed that the site needs a little more diversity and maybe reaching that diverse crowd may take some creativity.

I guess the true question is "What does Cache do with the feedback?"

Linda said...

Thank you for the feedback Anonymous. We assume you are around the age of 30 and unfortunately the demographic of males in their 30's to 40 has been very hard to reach, as well as a variety of ethnicities. Do you have any ideas?

You can see by our Events that are coming up that we are now having events at some outside venues such as NIU-Naperville. Perhaps this will help get the ages down.

~ Linda

Lea said...

Do you think hosting some of your events at places that typically cater to diverse crowds would work? Maybe a church that has a predominately Hispanic, Black, etc church. Unfortunately church is still one of the most segregated places in society. Maybe to attract younger crowds do a roller skating party and have a dj that plays christian/holy hip hop music. Maybe arrange a christian singles travel trip to someplace.

Just some ideas that just popped into my head after reading the blog and comments. Not sure if they are feasible or realistic.

Linda said...

Thanks for the ideas Anonymous. Unfortunately, getting into ANY church is a challenge for CC, although we continue to ask and pray that the walls would come down. Not sure about roller skating - do 20's and 30's do that? We have scheduled dance lessons in Naperville; we will see how that goes. And while the idea of traveling together comes up occasionally, it is doubtful in the current economy that we could get enough Christian singles to make a good size group. (Now I sound like a Debbie Downer :)