Thursday, March 10, 2011

Creating your online bio: make it short and sweet!

Today's blog again features an excerpt from the Soulmate Summit that took place recently. Although he doesn't appear to be a Christian, his points are well-taken, if not necessarily well-written.

According to dating expert Evan Marc Katz, one of the most important ways you can increase your chances of finding the proverbial needle in a haystack online has to do with the specific way you craft your profile--the key being to "show not tell". Also, according to Katz, there are five words you should absolutely NEVER use when describing yourself to potential suitors.

Here's an excerpt from his Soulmate Seminar "Finding "The One" Online: How to Attract Quality Men and Understand Male Dating Behavior":

"Show me who you are, don't tell me who you are. Anybody can say I'm friendly and anybody could tell me what friendly means. I meet people wherever I go. I'm one of the nicest people ever but that's just telling me what friendly means. You need to give me an example. Lunch ladies like me. I make friends with a bartender during a layover in Dallas. That's the same as I'm friendly, right?

What are the words that say the most about you? If you had five words to describe yourself in an elevator, if your best friend were to describe you in five words what are those five words? And now that you've got those five words realize you're not going to use any of them in your profile, you're going to show them.

And so you come up with the examples. Don't say you're adventurous, tell me you bungee jumped off a 200 foot bridge in New Zealand. Each story is one line long because a profile should only be about 200 words long. You don't want to make it a long confessional and I think that's one of the things that I see most with intelligent earnest women who are looking for love and I see it plenty with the law of attraction women.

They write something that's straight from their heart and it's passionate and it's spiritual and any guy reading it his eyes are going to roll back in his head because it's a complete expression of who she is. It's great if she wants to attract another woman who's into the law of attraction but she's not speaking guy language at all.

We're not talking about tool belts and football, it's about appreciating that what men are attracted to is often what they don't have themselves okay. They're looking for sweetness, lightness, nurturing, fun, playfulness, sexiness all right.

So when I have clients who sell themselves to me by talking about, when they give me their core attributes on the phone and they'll tell me that they're ambitious and driven and tenacious and I'm like I want to hire you but that's not why he's going to marry you.

So I'm not going to say you shouldn't be those things and you can't still be those things at work but if you're defining yourself as that, if you're going to tell me the reason he should be with you is because you ran a marathon last year that's, I mean, unless you know we're in a drought and you need to run for water I'm not sure why that matters to him. Do you see what I mean?

So we're looking to play up her core qualities and by the way this always goes back to what she wants to convey. So if she tells me family is important we're going to throw in a line about families. If she tells me works important we're going to throw in a line about work. If she tells me travels important we're going to throw in a line about travel but it's going to be balanced it's not going to be a whole bunch of one thing because everybody has read a online dating profile with the scuba diving woman right? Or the music woman and she lists her 700 favorite bands.

These are all going to be balanced. So any guy who's reading this is going to find something in here that he likes, okay, and we're going to bring it home with something sweet and heartfelt at the end. So usually there's something funny at the beginning, sweet and heartfelt and the end and it's a really quick ride in between."

Help with your profile is part of the Cache' Connections Mentoring Services. Click here for more information.

~ Linda
Cache' Connections

1 comment:

Les said...

YES...that is good! I totally agree-especially about the "tenacious go-getter"...yeah, I want to hire her but not exactly marry someone like that!