Tuesday, March 16, 2010

7 Reasons for Skepticism about Marriage

On Monday night, we had a lively chat in the Cache' Connections Meeting Room discussing Chapter 1 of The Singlehood Phenomenon. Some members and non-members joined us to discuss some reasons why singles are skeptic about marriage these days. Some even admitted to owning their reasons :)

Here they are, straight out of Chapter 1:

1. Fear of making a mistake. That's the biggee, no surprise there. We often hear "I'd rather be alone than in a bad marriage."

2. The high divorce rate. Half of Generation X suffered through the divorce of their parents. Also, they know that statistics of children of divorced parents reflect a higher divorce rate.

3. Relational insecurity. Again, children of divorce often feel handicapped because they did not have role models for healthy marriages. Also, those whose parents are still together struggle with today's changing roles and lack of a blueprint for marriage. Singles often default to what they know they can succeed at: work, ministry, education and physical fitness.

4. Fear of getting hurt. (Enough said really.) "Many singles have been wounded and now equate dating and mating with hurt and pain."

5. The narcissistic culture. Singles are afraid they will lose their freedom and see marriage as confinement and constraint rather than an opportunity for connection and belonging. One chatter admitted that he has a lot of hobbies that he was not willing to give up. We encouraged him that it doesn't have to be one or the other, and that the right woman would help him to find a balance.

6. Consumerism. This one is kind of a shocker - but the wide variety of choices leaves singles wondering how they can ever settle down and choose just one mate - for life.

7. Fear of acrimonious disputes. Singles feel that marriage will lead to emotional suffering and emotional shame. One of the singles admitted that the shame of her divorce was holding her back from seeking a new relationship.

The good news is that God can help restore your hope! Drs. Rogers wrote, "Singles who find themselves discouraged or hopeless need to seek the Lord and prayerfully ask Him to guide them as they do a healthy soul-searching and self-evaluation." In order to find a healthy soulmate, you must first be a healthy soulmate.

Join me next Monday, March 22 as we take on Chapter 2: Lack of faith in God's provision. Click here for chat schedule, as well as other scheduled events. To enter The Meeting Room, click here and enter with your first name and password: cachecommunity. See you in "the box."

~ Linda

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