Friday, October 15, 2010

Is it hard for singles to attend church?

This question prompted a ton of responses on Facebook! Here are some of them:

Donna - I always look forward to going to church. I have a lot of friends at my church. I go on Saturday to sit with some of my married friends, and I go on Sunday to meet with my single friends. It's always a highlight of my week, to connect with my friends, and to worship the Lord. I try to make it easier for my single friends by inviting them to come sit with me, instead of letting them sit alone :O)

Roger - I have no problem sitting by myself and usually do. I sing in the choir and we do praise singing to start off with and most of the other members of the choir sit close to me, but really, being by myself is a good time to ponder the lesson, and pray with no interruptions.

Anne - I have an eleven year old son and we both serve together at church. I do sit by myself in service and I agree with Roger, it does give me time to reflect and pray and not be interrupted. I must admith though, it is difficult at a lot of the church functions since so much of it is geared to couples. That is when I feel alone.

Tammy - I sit with my sister & niece or by myself close to friends. I am happy no matter what, don't feel alone there at all since it is worship, but have to agree about the other functions. That is where a good singles group would come in handy at my church.

Shaina - I always sit with my parents, so that makes it very nice. I think if I didn't have them and came alone I would be sad. But I would probably find a friend to sit with and not sit alone. I have wonderful parents. And maybe one day soon I will have a husband to sit with! :-)

Ray - Come early to Church and stay for a while afterwards! Make some friends (if you haven't already, then do so) and sit with them. Beforehand pray that the Lord speak to you, encourage you and lift you up. He knows us better than we know ourselves!!!

B.J. - Not at all. I find that volunteering at the church makes it a lot easier to meet folks, get familiar and feel at home more quickly. Donating time and talent for a win/win, plus giving some time to God...

Amy - serving does make it easier to connect with people but when you go to a big church it's still hard to attend a service flying solo. Most of the folks I'd hang out with are either serving or with their families or attend different services....

Dana - No. Church is easy. Finding people to hang out with after is hard.

Vicky - No. I go there to be with God and learn about Him. My heart aches when i see the love being shared by other couples (ie. arm around each other, holding hands, that special look they have only for the other, etc)

Jim - Most churches treat singles differently. Singles, especially men, are often ignored or overlooked.

Mario - I have no issues going alone anywhere as a single man. I come and go as I please.

As I ponder this question and the responses, first of all I'm happy that most responders push through and make the best of attending church surrounded by couples. But I'm reminded of something I read recently, and that is, in this life, we will all have unmet desires. Sure, it's hard as a single to watch marrieds couples sharing those intimate little moments like holding hands, sharing a look, straightening his hair, etc. But it's also hard for that unequally yoked (married) mother to come to church without her husband week after week. And it's hard for the childless couple to watch families coming and going with their children. Then there are the parents of lost children whose hearts ache as they watch others' teens and adult children living for the Lord and living out their faith with fresh enthusiasm.

As Steph from the Monday Fast and Pray Group wrote: "Living in the reality that there are unmet desires that God has given and wants to affirm is deeply courageous. It's painful. It's a readiness, an openness to receiving what you're not sure will ever show up, allowing a beautiful story to be formed within us whose ending we don't control. Hebrews 11 tells us that this is where faith is born - being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we cannot see, even as we know that there are no guarantees this side of heaven."

Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

~ Linda
Cache' Connections

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