Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
A male friend from Atlanta recently asked me this question, so I polled my Facebook friends and CC fans to see what they had to say:
Jim - A lot of women cannot control natural attraction and they are not attracted to "nice."
JoAnn - No, I don't think it's true! I know plenty of nice guys who are doing just fine!
Mario - Nice guys finish!
Jodi - No.
Chris - oh big topic.. bad boys signify strength, protection, wildness, risk.. females are wired to be attracted to hunters.. protectors..
Johnny - Read the books "Wild At Heart" and "Fathered By God" by John Eldredge, which talk about the 'nice guy' expectations that the world puts on men, and how wrong and against God's will they are. Kind/Loving and nice are not the same thing.
Glenn - Are there any? (hmmm)
Jodi - Nice guys can be protective and daring and still be nice. A bad guy (not just a guy a little wild or adventurous), will leave his trail of hurt behind him and then try to claim victory because he claimed so many. Most women might be attracted to a bad boy, but they still want the one they can keep.
Sandy - Is that a bad thing? The last one is the one you get to keep.
Joe - If they finish last then how am I engaged? It's all about following God's path, it will lead to the right woman.
Here's Wikipedia's definition:
"Nice guy" is a term in the general public discourse and in popular culture for a male with certain personality traits and behavior. A typical "nice guy" is a man who is likely to put the needs of others before his own, avoid instigating confrontations, do favors, give emotional support, and generally act in a way consistent with the general meaning of "nice". It is an active debate whether these traits, which have historically been considered valuable in courtship, may actually make a man less desirable from a sexual perspective. This leads to justify hypocrisy that may exist among some women; those who "want a nice guy", yet usually end up with the more confident, experienced and less considerate male that may be more subconsciously desirable.
What was my answer to him? I think some men are too nice and need to be more assertive in certain situations. Meaning, a woman wants a man who will stand up for his beliefs, his woman, his country, his family and friends. However, she wants to see his softer, childlike side as well. As in everything, there has to be a balance. (sigh)
What do you think?