Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Is this a faith match?


Here are some excerpts from last night's expert-led chat with Dr. Stephen W. Simpson:

How do you go about deciding if someone is a good match when it comes to faith? Before I met my wife, I dated both Christians and non-Christians. With women who weren't Christians, I was actually surprised at how pervasive the feeling that something was missing. Even if you're not someone who is very open about your faith, it still affects our worldview in big ways.

Do you guys want to know a few ways to discern whether or not someone is a good spiritual match?

First, you need Time. Anyone can fake a walk with Christ for a few weeks. In about 3-4 months, however, the person's true character will start to show. So don't get too serious for about 100 days.

Second, watch more for what you Don't want instead of what you Do when it comes to faith. If there are beliefs or practices that really bother you, ask about those early on (but not the first date). Personal story: My best friend is Catholic. I went out on a blind date with a girl who was a Christian. During our first date, she told me she thought Catholics were going to hell and that the pope might be the antichrist. There wasn't a second date.

Third, make sure that attending the same church is possible. It's okay to come from different religious backgrounds, but you should be able to be in the same congregation at some point if things continue.

Two more points to go. The next one should be obvious. You should be in basic agreement when it comes to issues of sexual purity. There can be some mild disagreement, but major disagreement will probably lead to frustration for at least one person.

Last point: Do not, for any reason, engage in "missionary dating." Don't date someone with the intention/goal/hope of winning them to Christ. (can lead to:)
1) Frustration when they don't become a Christian
2) Being committed to someone who doesn't become a Christian when you don't have the heart to end the relationship
3) Not knowing what to talk about once they do become a Christian!

Want to join in and enjoy Dr. Steve or Expert Emily in a live chat? Check the Scheduled Events at Cache' Connections. Need not be a member to participate. Just behave yourself :)

~Linda

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