Another note of contention between the sexes ... read these excerpts from a chat we had with a single man who shall remain anonymous:
Him: (referring to a mutual friend) She's sexy though (...in the purest sense..haha...) Yeah, I must clarify that because some christian women are so prudish. Probably the reason a lot single christian guys have hard time wanting date some of them. The mention of anything close to sexuality they short circuit and freak out. Hence, the reason why some struggle with seeing non-christian women.
Linda: Ah, um, maybe find a more Christian-version of saying that she is a very pretty lady or something like that. I'm sure you are right that Christian single women have their radar on high alert. They are looking for something/someone less "of the world" but you ARE men ...
Him: Interesting? Respectfully, I somewhat expected a "churchy" response like that. A lot of "non-christian" women think most christian (single) women are boring. I agree to an extent. My heart's and passion is for Christ and Christ alone. However, I've yet to find a christian woman who's cool, sexy, intelligent, virutious and passionate for Christ.
Most seem to prudish and predictable, missing the whole picture.
In my view and some christian single guys I know, that those "combination/qualities" are seemingly a rare find in a lot of single christian women. I don't mean to offend and pardon me it seems that way, but it isn't my intent. I'm being open and honest and not giving a typical "churchy" response.
Linda: Interesting comments. Well we have a gap to fill. Ahhh, the ever-increasing list of mountains to climb in this battle of connecting Christian singles. (And I thought it was just going to be a website :)
Him: I've been a christian for several years. It just bores me to hear churchy cliches, etc., etc. It would make any non-believer think.. "what world are these people living in"? I do think it's important to be discreet, discerning, wise and honest.
Real issues never get resolution when christians are churchy and not real, or they don't have a personal relationship with Christ enough to stand on their convictions. Most or I should say some singles are being influenced by their pastor's personal views, or peers.
We should upfront and honest in the proper forum, or single small group settings.
My Thesis is done :) Wait until you read my Dissertation. That's really thought provoking..haha. No, really I'm done. It was nice talking with you. Again, I apologize if I have offended you in any way, and I meant any no disrespect.
Your thoughts on this topic?
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2 comments:
Thank God someone is finally talking about this!! Why are christian women seen as "non-sexual" beings?!! Christian men need to know that christian women (although live a chaste and pure life to honor God) ARE sexual beings and HAVE sexual desires as any other women! I think it's natural for a man to want a women who looks good, since men are "visualizers".The truth is that women too are visualizers!! We too have to like what we see!Where did all these misconceptions come in the christian community? I wonder...I've been a Cache member for nearly a year and haven't met Mr. Right yet, because to me attraction is a must...plus, I guess I either think "outside of the box", I'm "unique", OR!...I must think like a man! ah ha!No attraction, no chemistry, no relationship, sorry. To all the christian men out there (with all due respect): brotherhood is one thing, marriage and sex a total other game!
So ATTENTION MEN: while from your standpoint, there may be a few "boring" christian women who freak out just thinking about sex, it's good to keep things in perspective, knowing that there are others to whom sex and passion are a very important factor in a relationship with a man (in marriage).
I'm pleased to find out that the men had the "gutts" to come forth and express themselves about this sensitive subject. Thanks! And remember: relationships CAN happen, if only...you can make it past the friendship phase...that's why it's important to FLIRT (without crossing the boundaries of the Word of God)because flirting is the "initial signal" to say:"I like you A LOT". Lastly, to all the "puritans" out there, sorry if this has offended you in any way.
Female, 40+, Illinois
I agree with "no attraction, no chemistry, no relationship". Just because we are Christian women and in the church doesn't mean that we are prone to lose our eyesight! Women are visual creatures, too.
I find that a lot of single men in the church are sullen, lack energy, have no pep in step... they might as well be at a funeral!
A man might not be a 10,but if he has a smile and self-confidence, he can outshine most.
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