inner office tidbits of the day

Okay, so, enough about flirting for a few days. Today we take a peek at what's going on behind "the veil" of Cache' Connections. Come on in ...

~ FINALLY nailed down the venue, pricing, speakers, bios, snacks for the first-ever singles conference sponsored by Cache' Connections. Together we spent about 4 hours putting the event pages on the website, and our newest employee, Nick, is busy posting the event on Chicago event calendars. Now to draft up the fodder for the flyers. Oops, need good photos of our speakers. Wish we would have asked for that weeks ago. Time is ticking away to September 26! Check it out.

~ Investor, eh? Hmmm ... we wrote our business plan about two years ago with the idea of an investor. That idea fell by the wayside when the Wall Street investors told us we'd need to have some traction before they'd take a serious look at us. Traction? Yeah, we have that. So one of our connections (a/k/a Kim's husband) spoke to a potential investor today from Chicago who wants to take a look at the CC machine. Two years ago we would have been jumping up and down and turning cartwheels with a phone call like that. Too many hard knocks and reality checks since then. But - we are excited to see if this is something God has in mind for CC. There is much more that can be done! Ewe, but does that start with another business plan ? :(

~ The Dating Game. Kim is working on the power point for our little spiel and I am avoiding making calls for prize donations. (Sssshhhh! don't tell.)

~ Quiet around here today, no customer complaints, but no good news either. I'll take that.

Say hi to Nick, Followers. Don't ya just want to pinch his cheek? He beats me arm wrestling for the big desk every time! (Sorry gals, he's married.)

~Linda

Mixed Messages!?!

"Also, in regards to a way that you can flirt....you don't have to throw yourself at him/her but you also shouldn't treat him like he is a brother......if you are interested, let him know. If you treat him like a brother than you are making things more confusing for yourself and him."

This is an excerpt from a recent chat at Cache' Connections led by Emily Shupert, one of our featured relationship experts at Cache' Connections. There is some confusion about how to conduct yourself when in the company of the opposite sex - especially those you are interested in getting to know! What Emily is saying is that we need to step up our game - act interested - instead of sending mixed messages that only add to the confusion and struggle.

Ladies, men's egos are very tender. They aren't too excited about putting themselves out there, approaching a girl unless she gives him some indication that she will respond. So, some basic ways of affirming your interest are good eye contact (lock eyes), listening to what he is saying and asking questions about his topic, and of course smiling. This can all be done subtly without everyone in the room aware of what's going on. There's also a study that reveals that when a woman touches her neck or plays with her necklace, this indicates interest. (Hint-hint guys!)

Emily often recommends this: have one or two of your good friends go with you to a public place and observe how you conduct yourself in the company of the opposite sex. Many times women are surprised to learn about the vibes they are sending out: crossed arms, not looking around, frowning, etc. Could this be you? Are you approachable?

Ladies, how would you like to be flirted with by a Christian man?

~Linda

Christian men wishy washy?

Here's an email we received from an Atlanta friend yesterday. She gave us permission to quote her anonymously:

I am from australia and finding christian men here here very wishy washy and not willing to state their intentions as the good doctors advised the few stray men who fronted up to first baptist atlanta 2 weeks ago . They are the worst dilly dalliers I have come across and border on being spineless. Why is that so? Especially those above 40. Its not pretty out there but u know that I am sure. If we sit still and wait we turn old and grey. If we stand up to be noticed we are considered non proverbs 31. Finding the USA christian dating scene worse than in australia in terms of quality God inspired capable financially stable (I don't mean wealthy) men with backbone who look after themselves and know what they need (not want) from a long term relationship. Hoping when I join cache that will all change and I can write back again and refute my own words . Bless u for your attempts to minimize the alarming statistcs on christian singledom. Extra stars in your crowns for sure.

Any rebuttal from the men?

~Linda

Cache' Connections

Cache' Connections

CHRISTIAN MATCHMAKING - Destiny or Desire?: Christian flirting - what does that look like?

Christian flirting - what does that look like?

Yes, we said it. Flirting. The recent chats in The Meeting Room at Cache' Connections have revealed there is some confusion on the topic of flirting. For instance, "but I have been accused of not knowing how to flirt, and having a hard time personally sorting out when it's appropriate to treat my brothers in Christ as more ...?"

ExpertEmily: "Good clarification....you don't have to flirt...some people generally flirt more than others and some never flirt. More than flirting, guys and girls can pick up whether or not you are "available" and this is seen through your body language, what you say, etc. Sometimes, in the Christian world, "flirting" is seen negatively, but I don't think that we should call it something "bad" but some people don't have the skills to flirt or the know how and that is totally fine."

So, do you know how to flirt? Has this even been defined for Christians?

Dating Game Dropout - Not Again!

Okay, so, one of our members was lined up to be in our first Dating Game event in February '09. At the last minute he backed out because he reconnected with an old flame. So we let him off the hook, scrambling for a replacement.

Fast forward 8 months ... we picked the same guy, this time to be a "special guest" (the coveted question-asking guy). He had broken up with the flame and promised us out of allegiance to CC and appreciation for all the great things we are doing, to BE AVAILABLE on 8/28. And so it was - not! We posted his photo in front of 7,000 people at the Ignite Chicago festival in July. On the 2nd day, a friendly looking gal happened by the booth and I encouraged her to apply to be on his panel, seeing them as a viable connection (though admittedly due mostly to the red in her hair and nice face :) She quite candidly shared with me that she was not interested because she is more of a behind-the-scenes person. Of course, I did not push the issue. She took a 50% off promotional code and off she went.

Well guess who connected behind the scene - on the website? Guess who's smitten with each other? Guess who's committed to intentionally dating? Guess who's scrambling for another guy?

~Linda

Let's Make It Real

Okay...we have decided to change the focus of this blog. Linda and I have been feeling there still are some pieces to this puzzle that are missing. Cache' Connections is doing great, but yet we want to reach the "tipping point" - the "flashover." In other words, Cache' Connections needs to be a household name among Christians. We believe it's our God-given destiny through the vehicle of this business/ministry to spread the message of God's plan in forming relationships - combating the message society is sending, which is "anything goes."

So, up to this point, we have been writing the blog as an informative, encouraging tool for singles. But lately, Linda and I have been feeling the spirit of restlessness, that there is something we aren't getting - but we just can't put our finger on what that missing link is. We are continually agonizing that we need to be more actively involved in internet marketing, but how to find the time and where to start? We have a good start on Twitter and Facebook, but it never seems to be enough. And then the book idea... we started writing a few chapters, but again, the time factor is a problem.

And then last night my daughter prodded me to go watch Julie/Julia with her... good movie, but intrigued by the blog concept. It really opened my eyes on how this could be a great opportunity to attract more people to this mission. But, we're going to change it up. The puzzle pieces are coming together... we can do this if we're just blogging about our everyday lives as matchmakers and business owners. We're going to "keep it real." Linda and I will be giving the inside scoop about what goes on in the day-to-day lives of this wacky world of Christian matchmaking. We'll be blogging about our frustrations and day-to-day miracles, customer service - the bizarre and encouraging, what's working in marketing and networking, what goes on in the office and at the events, and so much more!

We hope you'll subscribe to our blog and invite your friends. Also, feel free to leave us comments and let us know what you would like to hear about.

Stay tuned for the first tidbit of the "inside scoop" of Cache' Connections.

Chrstian Man Shortage?

We are constantly hearing from ladies about how unevenly stacked the odds are when it comes to the men/women ratio among Christian singles. We have even heard of statistics as drastic as 8 Christian women to every Christian man in some areas. These numbers are not as exaggerated as you might think. It is disheartening for not only the single women, but for the Cache' Connections founders and the singles pastors. Not many a day goes by at Cache' Connections without receiving an email or phone call from women concerned about the lack of available Christian men. We have even had women complain that Cache' Connections needs to make sure that these ratios are more even. It is our desire and prayer that more Christian men will surface and be available and willing to engage in a relationship. Unfortunately this is not just a Cache' Connections problem, but a nationwide dilemma.

We were saddened as a singles pastor from a large church contacted us today who said he received a phone call from a 37 year old single professional who "poured her heart out." She was so discouraged about wanting a mate and children and concerned that it was never going to happen.

Drs. Tom and Beverly Rodgers were interviewed on Moody Radio and received a call-in question about this issue. They shared with the caller that they believe churches and pastors should focus heavily on calling men to the faith and also calling men to court women in an intentional manner. The Drs. are very concerned about the lack of "intentional dating" as singles seem to get lost in the gray area of "hanging out" and can prohibit a man from declaring his intentions and so the relationship never progresses.

Cache' Connections will continue to explore new possibilities of seeking out those Christian single men and continually pray that more men will be drawn to seek a relationship with their heavenly Father.

First Date: What not to ask!

We have heard many Christian men say that a first date feels like a job interview - ouch! Others have been asked intrusive questions about their past, their divorce, their relationship with their mothers ... geez! And we are hearing that women are taking offense to questions that are basically conversation starters. Let's try to establish some ground rules.

First, both parties need to enter into the first meeting with low expectations, with the thought in mind of perhaps making a new friend. Try to set aside your lifelong dreams of Prince Charming, personal issues, past hurts, biological timeclock, etc. and just relax. No one but Jesus will EVER be able to be your all-in-all answer to all of life's gaps and woes, as well as your heart's desire.

So, here are some DO NOT ASK questions:

a. What is the reason for your divorce? Why 2 divorces?
b. Were you unfaithful to your spouse?
c. How much money do you make?
d. Why haven't you ever married?
e. Why don't you get a makeover/hair cut?
f. You're not bipolar or an alcoholic are you?
g. Why so many questions, are you a cop/reporter/attorney? (No, he or she wants to get to know you, or... you're stonewalling so much they are valiantly trying to keep things from getting MORE uncomfortable.)
h. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Next, establish a friendly atmosphere. Even if you are quite certain that this person is not going to be a part of your future, manners still apply. You are free to cut the date short, but rudeness is never acceptable. What is acceptable are the following types of questions:

a. How was your drive here?
b. What church do you attend?
c. When did you first come to know the Lord? Do you want to share your story with me?
d. Tell me about your family (or line of work)
e. What was the last movie you saw or book you read?
f. What is one of the most memorable compliments you ever received?
g. What are 5 things you love (hate) to do?
h. Why were you drawn to Cache Connections instead of other sites?
i. What's your favorite, sunsets or sunrises?
j. When was a time you felt God holding you in his care?

I've heard that the most important part of carrying a conversation is surprisingly not to be interesting, but to BE INTERESTED. The person who is free to talk about himself or herself will walk away and say that you are the most interesting person they talked to at the whole party. Of course, we've all spent time with the guy/gal who rambles on and on about his or her childhood, education, relatives, coworkers, garden, dental history, most recent grocery shopping experience ... (Think Toby Keith, "I Wanna Talk About Me" - see link). At this point, you need to pull out your body language arsenal. Look around, check your watch, your phone, your makeup (or regrowth). Do not ask questions, unless it is for the check.

On the topic of who pays the bill, gals can offer to split the check, but should not insist. It's a sign you are dealing with a cheapskate if the man doesn't readily pick up the bill.

To kiss or not to kiss? Um, no. Not on the first date. If things went well, perhaps a quick hug is in order, with a plan for the next contact. Or, a handshake is always acceptable (guys please don't squeeze our hands!). And don't forget, some Christians are used to greeting with hugs and holding hands over grace. If offered from a kind lady or mannered gentleman, accept it without making more (or less) of a friendly gesture of fellowship. If this match is a no-go, kindly express your question or feelings as to whether you are a good match and wish them well. You have just met a brother or sister in Christ!

Check out July's events!

July is packed with some great opportunities to connect with Christian singles! Check out what's coming up:

7/17
Cache' Connections "The Dating Game" at The Vineyard Church - Cincinnati, OH
Join the audience and help the pre-selected contestants choose their winning date! Enjoy refreshments and fellowship after the games. This event is FREE!

7/18
Cache' Connections "Beach Party at the Dunes" sponsored by Liberty Bible Church, Chesterton, IN
Enjoy a relaxing evening on the beach with Christian singles from Chicagoland, Indiana and beyond!

7/18-19 Ignite Chicago, Schaumburg, IL
Stop by our booth!

7/26 Cache' Quick Introductions, Houlihan's, Schaumburg, IL
2 - 5:00 p.m. For ages mid-thirties to mid-fifties

7/31
Cache' Connections Live! First Baptist Atlanta
Come out and enjoy worship followed by Drs. Tom and Bev Rodgers who will be discussing "Building Healthy Relationships." Be one of the first 100 to purchase a ticket ($10) and receive three months free at cacheconnections.com!

Additionally, check out the live chats. Members are enjoying connecting with new Christian friends in "The Meeting Room." Tuesday nights this summer, join in a lively discussion based on the nation's current "singlehood phenomenon." Lastly, on 7/6/09 members will have an opportunity to chat with one of our experts, Dr. Stephen W. Simpson. He will be leading a chat on "Authentic Dating."

Check out the Events tab for all details and registrations. See you soon!

Blessings,
Kim and Linda
Cache' Connections

I text you, I text you not.

First I must confess my personal bias on this topic due to my texting illiteracy. I can send a short message when absolutely necessary, but please do not expect capital letters or punctuation of any type. (I think sometimes my kids text me just so they can poke fun at my replies.) I have failed Texting 101 twice and I've been asked not to register for that class again.

Being the mother of two young adults and in the relationship business, however, I have come to observe the general unhealthiness (that is a word - I just checked) of texting as it pertains to relationships. This is especially true for those who are dating. We all know that communication is key to any relationship. May I be so bold as to propose that texting does not qualify as communication?

Although a huge fan of texting with friends, my 23 year old daughter has repeatedly voiced her disdain at guys who send her text messages when a phone call would be much more appropriate. Please hear me, guys. If you are seeking the company of a special gal, the way to her heart is not through text messages. She will be much more endeared to you if she can at least hear your voice. We feel that guys these days are hiding behind their cell phones and not taking their pursuing roles seriously. Casually sending a text, asking her to hang out sometime does not carry all that much weight - sorry. Whether you like it or not, the majority of women I speak to want to be pursued ... the old fashioned way. Just a little tip: give her a call. You'll be way ahead of the competition.

This goes for the back end of a relationship, too. I can't tell you how many failing relationships have roughly skidded through and crashed via text. When things get sticky, it is especially important to be as personal and include your voice tones and body language whenever possible.

This is not to say there is a time and place for appropriate texting. Short messages sent to confirm arrangements or to send "sweet nothings" are perfectly acceptable. Also, there are times, I suppose, which sending a message is the only viable alternative. But please do not have any type of conversation or fight via text. Not good.

Addicted to texting? I know. I myself am addicted to my laptop. After spending a weekend with my daughter and having her constantly interrupted by the "beep-beep-beep" and ensuing texts flying, I realize there is a time to just put it down. It is not fun trying to talk to someone, be it a short comment or an actual conversation, when they are distracted by an electronic gadget of any sort. Let's all do ourselves and our loved ones a favor and find the balance!

One last note: do not text your friends while on a date, unless you are certain you don't want to date this person again. It can kill the mood faster than saying, "Let's split the check."

"Authentic Dating" by Dr. Stephen W. Simpson

The nighttime wind off the Pacific was cold but invigorating. Sitting next to me at the end of the Santa Monica pier was a girl with dark eyes and long brown hair. She had just asked me an important question. My answer would affect both of our lives. I breathed deep and gazed down at the dark waves below. Then I turned to her and smiled.

“No,” I said. “I don’t like country music. In fact, it makes me kind of nauseous.”
Her eyes exploded in surprise. A moment ago, she told me that she went country-western dancing every weekend. When she asked if I liked country music, a pivotal moment had arrived. I could tell her the truth or I could soft-peddle my answer in hope of keeping the relationship alive. I’d done the latter too often and gone through too much misery as a result.

By my twenty-sixth year, my dating life yielded results so preposterous that I had no choice but to take a break from the romance rat race. My first date after a two year break wasn’t going well. Our differences extended well beyond The Toby Keith Problem. We had significant differences in theology. Our life goals and priorities didn’t match. She also didn’t get my sense of humor, which meant she must have some neurological damage, because I’m really funny. Though nobody said it aloud, we both knew the relationship wasn’t going to work. After my revelation on the pier, we cut the night short and I took her home. I kept my distance as she entered her apartment, sparing her the awkward pause on the doorstep.

Though I’d driven away from lousy first dates before, something was different this time. There was no anxiety, no dread of being alone for the rest of my life. I felt disappointment, but not despair. During my two years off from dating, I’d focused on my relationship with God and my own sense of purpose. I developed a life that was meaningful and fun. I strengthened friendships instead of searching for romance. As a result, I enjoyed being me, girlfriend or no. Leaving a woman at her doorstep and returning to my own life had never been so easy.

After that night, I embarked on a string of first dates. Every woman got the genuine Steve. I wanted to share my life with someone, and misrepresenting that life defeated the whole purpose of dating. I was honest about controversial opinions and didn’t work so hard to hide my shortcomings. Authentic dating was much more fun than the anxious hemming and hawing that once dominated my romantic pursuits.

Six months after that awkward first date by the ocean, I met the woman who would become my wife. We met at a U2 concert, and she never asked if I liked country music
I would love to give you Five Simple Steps to Authentic Dating, but it doesn’t work that way. The process of building authenticity and self-esteem is complex and ongoing. Below are a few principles to get you started, but they all require patience and constant attention to your relationship with God.

Get a life. Authentic dating requires a serious commitment to Christ and a sense of meaning and purpose in your life. Without these things, you’re more apt to believe that finding the perfect mate results in a perfect life. Not only is this untrue, it raises the stakes ridiculously high. Your future is on the line every time you go on a date. If your life already feels exciting, however, riding the romance rollercoaster won’t be nearly as frightening. It might even start to be fun.

Tell the truth. Getting your smooth on only has short-term benefits. Be honest about your opinions, tastes, and life goals. You don’t have to be abrupt or rude, but don’t present yourself as your date’s dream partner, either. “Be yourself” isn’t just good advice when it comes to dating; you have no choice in the long run. The truth will come out sooner or later. The later it comes out, the more damage it will do.

Assess before you impress. Don’t become so focused on impressing the object of your affection that you ignore your own feelings. You know that woman or man who flees a relationship as soon as the other person expresses serious interest? They do it because being loved is more important to them than sharing a life with someone. They don’t take a good look at the person they’re pursuing until it’s too late.

Don’t lie to yourself. A buddy of mine fell hard and fast for a woman who wanted to be a missionary. He convinced himself that a life in the mission field would be exciting. They ended up dating for over a year. When he realized that she was determined to be a missionary and he had no desire to follow her, he broke up with her. Infatuation can make you capable of great change and sacrifice in the beginning. This can breed resentment and heartache once the fires cool.

Remember your first love. Christ is the only one who can provide the fulfillment you’re looking for. Philippians 4:19 says that God can meet all our needs. Asking someone else to do that makes him or her an idol, one that will topple once you realize he or she is weak and imperfect, just like you. In Hebrews 13:5, God promises never to leave us or forsake us. Your dating journey might not always be easy, but you’ll never be alone on the road.

Stephen W. Simpson, Ph.D. is the author of What Women Wish You Knew about Dating and Assaulted by Joy: The Redemption of a Cynic. He is a clinical psychologist and a professor in the School of Psychology at Fuller Theological Seminary. For more articles, visit www.stephenwsimpson.com

Could this be you?

Now that we are well into our second year as matchmakers, having studied the Christian dating books and trends, conferred with experts and pastors, and dealt with countless singles, some consider us experts in the field of matchmaking. Through our experiences, we have identified some patterns of singles. Although these individuals claim they want a secure, loving relationship that will lead to marriage, we often wonder if they realize the patterns of their decisions and actions (or non-actions). So, take a look at these profiles. Could it be that without realizing it, you are unknowingly contributing to your singlehood?

No. 1. Dan is in his mid-forties and has never been married. Although he leads a very full life including his work and singles ministries, he has never found "the one." It seems that he is attracted to those that are just outside of his reach: too young, too old, too far away, or already taken.

No. 2. Susie is thirty-something and is very successful at her career. She has built a good life for herself which includes owning her own home. Justifiably, she has set high standards for the men she chooses to date. The problem is that she hasn't dated in at least two years. Susie is so busy with her ministries, career and keeping up her home (all of which we applaud!), she does not make time to make herself available for social functions or put herself in situations where she can meet new people. When she is out, she unknowingly sends out messages that say "do not approach."

No. 3. Alex has dated a lot of women since his divorce. While he enjoys meeting new women and often places himself in situations where he can meet more women, he never dates a woman for more than three or four months. He is looking for a woman who is flawless and continues to supply that special spark that he enjoys at the onset of a romance. Alex is a classic perfectionist dater.

Of course, the underlying reason for many of these behaviors is fear of failed relationships, and rightly so. Many singles saw the pain of divorce with their parents (or their own marriage) and are not even sure they are able to hold a marriage together. Our prayer is that singles would be asking the Lord what they may need to do in order to become healthy, intentional daters. This may include seeking the counsel of your godly friends, mentors or even a Christian counselor.

World's Shortest Blog

April-May News

Happy Anniversary Cache' Connections!

On May 20, 2009, Cache' Connections will celebrate the one-year anniversary of the launch of our current website. Although we have been in business since 2/14/07 (beginning on a local level in Central Illinois), the new matchmaking site has provided a much more affordable and global way to connect Christian singles. It has been quite the journey to get from our humble beginnings to the privileged place of partnering with churches and the Christian community that we now enjoy. God has shown his favor to Cache' Connections in tremendous ways.

We are hearing of success stories at every turn! Praise God! Don't forget to check in with Cache' Connections when you have a story/praise of how God has touched you through the ministry of Cache' Connections. Many members are blessed through our events and activities on the website, including matchmaking and the chats in The Meeting Room. The latter is a great place to find a friend on a night where you might find yourself alone and wanting to talk to someone in a similar place. These chats go over much better when we have a scheduled greeter, which is fun and easy! Drop us a note if you would like to lead a chat, with or without a specific topic.

Our next event coming up on 5/16 is Cache' Connections Live! Chesterton at Liberty Bible Church in Chesterton, Indiana. We encourage all of our friends to come out and help us celebrate our anniversary! There will be some special surprises and testimonies - and a free gift for everyone! Make plans and purchase your tickets here today!

Cache' Quick Introductions on 5/3 was a a wonderful afternoon spent at Carrabba's Italian Grill in Naperville with 48 of our single friends. The feedback has been very positive; we invite you to check out the recaps here. We also had a great event at Mount Paran Church of God in Atlanta, GA on 4/24. Pastor Greg Steely was a great host and we were warmly welcomed by our new southern friends! Just like in Chicago and Peoria, the pastors were quite pleased to see the singles stick around late into the evening, connecting with one another. We look forward to our return to Atlanta on 7/31 for another Cache' Connections Live! at First Baptist Church of Atlanta, with the help of Pastor Keith Langland, who is most excited about this opportunity to embellish his singles ministry.

Before returning to Atlanta, however, we have a few stops to make: Cincinnati, Ohio on 6/5 and then to Detroit, Michigan on 6/27. We already have a second trip scheduled back to Cincinnati for The Cache' Connections Dating Game on 7/17. There is also some serious talk of scheduling a Cache' Connections Dating Game this August in Naperville, Illinois, and also in Atlanta in October. Keep checking our Events tab!

As you can see, we are busy keeping up with the events and our precious members. Please know that we pray daily for you. Some of you are in a hard place, but I came across a scripture that reminds me of you:

1 Cor 7:17 "And don't be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God's place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not your marital status, defines your life. Don't think I'm being harder on you than on the others. I give this same counsel in all the churches." The Message

Here are a few reminders for new members:
- Please post your photos! They are not required but very beneficial.
Your headshot and bodyshot against a plain wall assures your
connections that the photos are recent.
- Feel free to send messages to those connections you are interested - this goes for both genders!
- If you are having trouble with a credit card transaction, please update your billing information.
- Please remember that all subscriptions will automatically renew.
Consider taking advantage of one of our specials before your next renewal
date. As always, feel free to contact us with any questions.

Blessings,
Kim and Linda
Cache' Connections

Success stories? Don't make us beg!

I think we may have left something out of our Terms and Conditions. There should be some language written in that requires happy couples to report in and send photos!

Really, now. Most of you know how hard we work at this thing. Many of you have offered your words of encouragement for our efforts, and believe me, they are the wind that our sails need some days. And, honestly, sometimes we get so tied up in website changes, customer service, marketing, event details (details ... details!) that we forget what this is all about. Well, we never really forget. (That would be silly.) But it is such a pleasant surprise when we hear of relationships that have formed out of our events and website matchmaking! There's just one thing: these stories come out of telephone calls we are making to you! Or, we stumble upon some information through Facebook or some other information super highway.

So, I think I'll call the lawyer and have him beef up the contract, adding a few promises such as:

a) phone call to Cache' Connections after 5th date/2nd months (whichever comes first)
b) photos of the happy couple (hey, they don't even have to be against a plain wall!)
c) engagement announcement and photos (no cropping allowed)
d) wedding invitation
e) photo opp with happily married couple

So, after you get past those first few months, tell the family, etc., don't forget to call Kim and Linda - the two crazy Christian matchmakers who followed God's call to help get you two together. We want to be praying for you! (Also, I like wedding cake.)

Linda

Atlanta - here we go again...

Now that we feel we have gained a market and foundation in the Chicago area, God has opened doors for us to spread our wings into new cities and states. We felt so blessed to be invited to Mount Paran Church of God in Atlanta on 4/24. Much prayer and preparation went into this event as it was our first event out of state requiring long distance travel. We met some fantastic people and were encouraged by the comments of many who came to the event and said they were so glad they had come and fully endorse Cache' Connections and what it stands for. The number of attendees was lower than we had expected although we understand it takes a while to gain recognition and a name in each community. We had a conversation with the singles pastor from Mount Paran and also First Baptist Atlanta who filled us in on the difficulties in getting singles to attend events in the Atlanta area. It is frustrating for all who plan and organize events and then have so few show up. God seems to be impressing on me that we need to let others know that we need their support in a monetary fashion along with their words of encouragement. That thought was even reinforced by a phone call from a member who is now dating someone he met through Cache' Connections. I received a helpful, but stern, reminder that it is okay to let people know that they need to sign up and attend the events. Singles seem to have developed a reputation of being skeptical and difficult to get engaged. Our hope is that Cache' Connections can help singles regain trust and start connecting with others in a healthy manner!

Nuggets from "If You Want to Walk on Water, You've Got to Get Out of the Boat"

It's no secret that Kim and I, the founders of Cache' Connections, feel like establishing this business/ministry has been a boat-exiting expedition. We know this is God's calling on our lives, as he has provided, confirmed and untangled in miraculous ways. Was it easy? No. Was it a scary risk? Yes - and it sometimes still is. But we keep reminding ourselves that God's word is true and faithful. We know that he tends to move alongside of our faith in action.

Here are a few quotes from John Ortberg's book, based on the apostle Peter's unforgettable water walk with Jesus.

Ortberg writes: There is a consistent pattern in scripture of what happens in a life that God wants to use and improve:

- There is always a call ...
- There is always fear ...
- There is always reassurance ...
- There is always a decision ...
- There is always a changed life

This is the part that is interesting. Those who say yes to the call don't always "walk the water perfectly" but they learn and grow through the process of trying and failing. "And they become part of his actions to redeem the world." Those who say no also are changed: they become a little harder, more resistant to say yes the next time He calls. Ooh, ouch! Do you know anyone like that?

In bringing this around to matters of the heart (like we tend to do here at CC), there is always going to be risk involved in seeking a mate. Risk isn't fun - at least not for many of us. But without taking a risk, you simply don't have a chance to win the prize. It can be scary, exhilarating, and a million other things. But without taking that first step, then the second, and so on ... you may become more resistant to try the next time an opportunity arises.

So, maybe consider taking that first step of attending a singles event or joining the website. Then ... there are necessary second and third steps. Talk to someone. Step out of your shell and say hello - maybe to several people. Already a member? Have you posted a photo? Your chances of receiving communication will greatly improve with some smiling photos. Make someone's day - send them a word of encouragement.

One of my favorite sayings is, "The harder I work, the luckier I get." This goes back to the reaping/sowing philosophy found in scripture (Gal 6:7) and I believe it pertains to many aspects of our lives, including forming relationships. I once heard you have to meet 100 people to make one good friend. Wouldn't it be the same case (if not more) to meet your soulmate?

Recaps and Updates!

Cache' Connections had a great weekend at The Chapel in Barrington Hills. Approximately 200 Christian singles came out to enjoy some great wisdom and advice on how to approach dating by Dr. Stephen Simpson. Worship with Brian Hunt was awesome as usual - good job guys! We were all entertained by Moody Radio host Erick Townsend, who razzed the crowd and got us all to loosen up a bit! Our fearless leader, Kim, was serenaded with Brian Hunt's surprise rendition of "Happy Birthday" in celebration of her 50th birthday, which made the evening special.

Many guests registered for the next Cache' Quick Introductions, which is scheduled for 5/3/09 at Carrabba's Italian Grill in Naperville. Check it out under the Events tab! Next stop in Chicagoland: Chesterton, IN on 5/16/09. Mark your calendars!

Next stop is Atlanta, Georgia where we will be welcomed for a Cache' Connections Live! event at Mount Paran Church of God. Dr. Paul Meier will be our featured speaker, and Scott England will lead us in worship. Thanks to WNIV Radio for doing a great job of promotions for the event. We look forward to meeting many new friends and members from Atlanta and the surrounding areas.

It may sound cliche, but love is in the air at Cache' Connections. Many connections are being made and we are receiving reports of blooming relationships. Is it Spring? Is it God? We are sure it is a combination of God working in and through all of our efforts - along with yours!