Could this be you?

Now that we are well into our second year as matchmakers, having studied the Christian dating books and trends, conferred with experts and pastors, and dealt with countless singles, some consider us experts in the field of matchmaking. Through our experiences, we have identified some patterns of singles. Although these individuals claim they want a secure, loving relationship that will lead to marriage, we often wonder if they realize the patterns of their decisions and actions (or non-actions). So, take a look at these profiles. Could it be that without realizing it, you are unknowingly contributing to your singlehood?

No. 1. Dan is in his mid-forties and has never been married. Although he leads a very full life including his work and singles ministries, he has never found "the one." It seems that he is attracted to those that are just outside of his reach: too young, too old, too far away, or already taken.

No. 2. Susie is thirty-something and is very successful at her career. She has built a good life for herself which includes owning her own home. Justifiably, she has set high standards for the men she chooses to date. The problem is that she hasn't dated in at least two years. Susie is so busy with her ministries, career and keeping up her home (all of which we applaud!), she does not make time to make herself available for social functions or put herself in situations where she can meet new people. When she is out, she unknowingly sends out messages that say "do not approach."

No. 3. Alex has dated a lot of women since his divorce. While he enjoys meeting new women and often places himself in situations where he can meet more women, he never dates a woman for more than three or four months. He is looking for a woman who is flawless and continues to supply that special spark that he enjoys at the onset of a romance. Alex is a classic perfectionist dater.

Of course, the underlying reason for many of these behaviors is fear of failed relationships, and rightly so. Many singles saw the pain of divorce with their parents (or their own marriage) and are not even sure they are able to hold a marriage together. Our prayer is that singles would be asking the Lord what they may need to do in order to become healthy, intentional daters. This may include seeking the counsel of your godly friends, mentors or even a Christian counselor.