Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Are you the clingy one?
A friend asked us recently if it is normal for someone that you are dating to require you to spend virtually all of your spare time with him or her. Apparently his girlfriend gets bent out of shape when she is left out of some of his weekend plans, not allowing him to spend time with his friends and family without her throwing a "hissy fit."
My reply was that his girlfriend definitely seems needy and clingy and therefore the relationship is unhealthy. I recommended he have a talk with her and set some clear boundaries with her regarding his personal time. If she continues to cry and carry on, then he needs to break it off with her. It's unfortunate, but one unhealthy dater makes for an unhealthy relationship.
Has this ever happened to you? I asked some of my Facebook friends and several of them could identify with this type of behavior. Some even admitted to being the clingy one! It's important to remember that you need to have a stable identity in Christ before you get involved in a relationship. If your identity is firmly rooted in Christ, you won't need another person to make you feel complete - it will just be the "icing on the cake." Keep in mind that the person you are dating had a life before you came into the picture, and you need to respect his other relationships and commitments. In other words, it's not all about you!
My friend asked why dating has to be so hard ... I wish it weren't! You can learn more about healthy dating by ordering a copy of "Christian Dating Redefined," featuring great dating advice from Dr. Stephen W. Simpson, Professor and Director of Clinical Psychology at Fuller Theological Seminary. CLICK HERE to see the trailer and order your copy!