Monday, September 12, 2011
When the sky-high feelings start to wear off - then what?
Falling in love ... there is nothing like it. I hope everyone who is reading this has experienced the natural high that new love brings. At Cache' Connections, we've talked about it before - the sky is bluer, the air is sweeter, and your honey is simply a magnet that you can't pull yourself away from. These are actually brain chemicals working overtime for the first three or so months of a new love. Then reality sets in. Things gradually come down to normal and you start finding a few flaws in your beloved. You begin wondering if you've been duped or made a big mistake ...
A Facebook friend recently wrote to me:
Question: I have a friend who fell in love and after a month they are planning the wedding in November. I asked her if she has had any issues in the relationship. She said no, she is stuck on cloud 9 and I believe is blinded by this. Is it possible to find someone that clicks with you that well? I also have a theory that if there is that much happiness, that there could be equally that much anger hiding in the background building up to a bad situation. I feel like she is really rushing things.
They are high on love drugs - endorphines, etc.. These start to wear off at 3 mos., then more at 6 mos., etc. They are definitely foolishly rushing things, but at least have til Nov. to realize each other is not perfect. Not sure about your theory ...Linda
We've said it before and we'll say it again. It takes T-I-M-E to learn if the two of you have what it takes to form a lasting marriage relationship. Life happens. Patterns and quirks are revealed. Family members play a part - as do hormones, history, career and other dramas of life.
Here's what one wise pastor said to a young lady who was upset to discover those sky-high feelings had begun to wane:
"Relationships ebb and flow. What's important is that this guy carries the qualities and characteristics of the godly man you've been waiting for."
With the divorce rates so high and so many broken adult children of divorce walking around in this country, why would you risk rushing into a marriage? Is love really that blind? And then on the opposite side, we have "serial daters" who are addicted to those chemical highs and drop out of sight when they start to wear off.
More on this topic tomorrow.