Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Dr. Dobson's Answers to the Dating Quiz

As promised from yesterday's post! This quiz is the basis for Dr. Dobson's recent book titled, "Head Over Heels - How to Fall in Love and Land on Your Feet."

Item 1: "Love at first sight" occurs between some people.
Answer: "False. Love is not simply a feeling of romantic excitement; it goes beyond intense sexual attraction; it exceeds the thrill at having 'captured' a highly desirable social prize." The emotional high and feeling of wonderment are actually self-focused, where true love is focused on the other person's happiness and well-being.

Item 2: It is easy to distinguish real love from infatuation.
Answer: False. Dobson emphatically states, "I must stress this fact with the greatest emphasis: The exhilaration of infatuation is never a permanent condition. Period!" Even couples who are deeply in love will experience highs and lows, but their love is dependent on their commitment of their will, not emotions or circumstances.

Item 3: People who sincerely love each other will not fight and argue.
False. Enough said.

Item 4: God selects one particular person for each of us to marry, and He will guide us together.
Although God's wisdom and direction should be sought in this critical area of life, he does not perform routine matchmaking services for His followers. "He has given us judgment, common sense and discretionary powers, and He expects us to exercise these abilities in matters matrimonial."

Item 5: If a man and woman genuinely love each other, then hardships and troubles will have little or no effect on their relationship.
False. Even in stable marriages, the fiber of love can be weakened by hardships, disease, separation or other life stressors. "It must be protected or nurtured when the hard times come."

Item 6: It is better to marry the wrong person than to remain single and lonely throughout life.
False. A single person can have a fulfilling life. A miserable married person can have a miserable life ... and share it with others :/

Item 7: It is not harmful or wrong to have sexual intercourse before marriage if the couple has a meaningful relationship.
False. "Illegitimate births, abortions, disease, even death - this is the true vomitus of the sexual revolution, and I am tired of hearing it romanticized and glorified. God has clearly forbidden irresponsible sexual behavior - not to deprive us of fun and pleasure, but to spare us the consequences of this festering way of life."

Item 8: If a couple is genuinely in love, that condition is permanent - lasting a lifetime.
False. "Love, even genuine love, is a fragile thing. Let me say it again: A marital relationship must be maintained and protected if it is to survive." You can't take this relationship for granted and expect it to last.

Item 9: A short courtship (six months or less) is best.
False. Is it love or infatuation? How will you know unless you give the relationship time?

Item 10: Teenagers are more capable of genuine love than are older people.
False. Although teenage romance is especially exciting and exhilarating, teens generally lack the level of maturity to make a selfless, giving, caring commitment that will last "til death do us part."

All ten items are false. They represent the 10 most common misconceptions about the meaning of romantic love. Dobson would like to make the quiz mandatory in order to receive a marriage license. Not a bad idea!

This is a great little book for couples to read and discuss together when considering tying the knot.

Cache' Connections


Anonymous said...

Great wisdom from a great man. Dr. James Dobson's books and radio broadcasts are tremendous resources on parenting, family matters, marriage, and the psychology of people in general. He is absolutely right on all ten points, although some Christians might argue some of his points, especially Item 4. The problem in society today is that attraction is emphasized, and true sacrificial and other-focused love is ignored. It is true that romantic love does start with attraction, but sacrificial love is necessary to sustain a relationship. Without attraction, it would only be a friendship, but without sacrificial love, a relationship is much more likely to fail.

Anonymous said...

brinkka2011 says: Remarkably! Thanks!