Friday, May 14, 2010

Just not that into him?

We were recently directed to an article in Boundless Webzine, a website of Focus on the Family, entitled "Not Attracted to Him" by Candice Watters. One of Candice's readers wrote in with a dilemma regarding one of her longtime male "buddy" friends. The writer was sure that he was romantically interested in her, but despite his great qualities and character, she was not physically attracted to him. Her friends advised her that the potential relationship had virtually no chance due to her lack of physical attraction to him.

The topic of physical attraction is something that we hear about daily, and frankly - we're over it! Now don't get me wrong, yes, yes, there needs to be some element of physical attraction. But as we tell our mentoring clients, we've read that a person can actually "grow on you" after that heart-level connection is made. This world has clouded our minds into thinking that it's ALL about the physical, when in reality our relationships, all of them from our relationship with our heavenly Father, to our spouses, parents, siblings, coworkers and neighbors, should be at the heart level. Besides, how do you think that picture of Mr. or Ms. Right got into your head? I'll give you one hint: media.

Candice does a great job of explaining how she was in a similar situation with her then-boyfriend, now husband. In fact, she didn't like their first kiss! Hmmpff! She stated that she chose to make some changes in her appearance and attire to be more attractive to her new-found love. She goes on to give some fantastic advice on giving this God-given opportunity a chance. That's what we say at Cache' Connections - err on the side of being open to possibilities. You never know what God may have up his sleeve!

Please click here to read Candice Watters' great article in its entirety.

Have a great weekend!
Cache' Connections


Anonymous said...

Media can play a part in persuading what attracts us, but for me, there is quite a bit out there that the media holds up as a pinnacle beauty that I just do not fall in line with-- and as a matter of fact, I'm often left quite puzzled.

From the time I was in first grade and laid my eyes on a classmate named Michael, I have always honed in on his particular type of aesthetic. It doesn't mean that I can't find other aesthetics pleasing, but I do have my preference-- and that seed was planted in my brain long before any media-related, cultural, or familial influence had any say.

Linda said...

Hey Anonymous, that is interesting. I think oftentimes we are attracted to people who are "like us." If we are tall, we are attracted to tall people. Same goes for fair hair, dark eyes, etc. These things, I believe, can be ingrained in our subconscious at a very early age. I'm glad you are open to other aesthetics - that is key! You never know what God is up to!