Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Don't make us beg you to return messages :/

Okay. We are begging. We've been receiving a lot of "fan mail" from members who love the Cache' Connections website, but are disappointed that other members are not replying to the messages they've sent.

Unanswered emails is a common complaint with online dating - across the board. But at Cache' Connections, we strive to be uncommon, and in many ways we feel like we are a cut above the rest. Our members and fans realize that we strive to operate the website with godly integrity, and we treat our members with compassion and respect. I think there is a natural tendency, therefore, that members have higher expectations of each other.

At Cache' Connections, we encourage all members to respond to all messages, even if it is to politely say that you don't feel this would be a good connection. I know it can feel like you are being mean or negative, but trust us, the person wants to know where they stand. Part of intentional dating, healthy boundaries and all of that is to just simply "Let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one." (Matt 5:37)

Members need to keep in mind that it is quite possible that the account of the message recipient may have recently expired, and so the member of interest cannot respond without renewing their membership. There are several other possible reasons for the silence, such as lack of access to a computer, lack of computer/typing skills, exploring another connection, and so on.

To some extent, online dating is a numbers game. So get your numbers up and increase your chances. Send a second message after about one week; also review your "Not Interested" folder and re-consider those you initially discarded. Why, just this morning we received an inquiry from a member, asking for information on a lady whose profile he admired in the Single Spotlight. I kindly told him that he could find out all kinds of information by reading her profile in his "Not Interested" tab :)

~ Linda
Cache' Connections


Anonymous said...

Just get used to it and move on if people don't reply. It's not worth stewing over. If the person has read the message and doesn't reply, you can pretty well assume that they are not interested. If they haven't read the message, they may not be interested, or it could be something else. If you reply to someone and say you aren't interested, they will be left wondering why, and if you say why (not attracted, too old, not educated enough, you don't have a job, etc.), it could be hurtful to them. Just get used to the fact that you won't get responses from some people, and move on.

Anonymous said...

My 20 cents:

In today's heavy technology-driven, split-second society, pleasantries and formalities are often relegated to the back seat. Before you know it, proposals and wedding vows will be via "text":


Get "used to it"? Sure.
"Move on"? Obviously.

*Despite* the latest inventions and gadgets, let us not lose touch with our humanity. Kudos to those of you who DO take the time to respond in kind even if there is not a mutual interest. It says a lot about your character and you should be commended. Finally, as the Bible says, we should remember to do unto others as we would have them to do unto us.