Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Smokescreens Anyone?

smoke screen or smoke·screen (smkskrn)
1. A mass of dense artificial smoke used to conceal military areas or operations from an enemy.
2. An action or statement used to conceal actual plans or intentions.

At Cache' Connections, we find that many people put up a variety of smokescreens, meaning that although they say they want to find someone special and even go so far as to join the website, attend singles events and even go out on dates, there is a wide variety of inhibitors that prevent them from moving forward in intimacy with one person.

The funny thing is, I don't even think most people realize they are using smokescreens. And what they are hiding is actually fear. Drs. Tom and Bev Rodgers state in their book, "The Singlehood Phenomenon," that fear is a powerful motivator. "Many singles adapt to fear by being controlling. If you fear you will not find a soul mate, you will try to control the process. You will become inflexible, immovable, and want your own agenda rather than the Lord's. You may wish some man would just come along and sweep you off your feet. My response is, "How can God send you a man to sweep you off your feet if your feet are glued to the floor?"

We conducted a Facebook poll for some common gluing agents or smokescreens. Do any of these ring true with you?

1. She's gotta be blonde.

2. Must have at least a Bachelor's Degree.

3. I once saw a personal where the headline read " looking for a motivated self-starter"......... I wouldn't be surprised if she asked for a resume.....

4. Must be tall, dark and handsome....make a lot of money & love chick flicks! :)

5. No joke the woman I waited on for 11 years finally handed me her needs list that I had to meet before she would marry me and it listed specifics like what kind of house, where, what kind of horses, what type of doors and flooring, 4 kids, 6... figures, and on and on....I laughed my head off and that was that....funny thing....she got what she wanted and is a happy woman today! I'm brokenhearted! I wish church work paid more!

6. Not ready to be the person I need to be. Not enough time. Not enough money. What if someone better is out there...

7. It's not the right time or the whole "it's me, it's not you" excuse.

We realize that some of these reasons may be valid, but we encourage you to search your heart and seek God's direction, asking him to search your heart and see if your heart is hardened or "capped" in such a way that He cannot work. What we appreciate at Cache' Connections is people who say, "I'm open!" Now that's someone we can work with.

~ Linda
Cache' Connections


Anonymous said...

It must be difficult to work with people in your business who are very picky about what they are looking for, but I don’t really understand “smoke signals.” If someone knows what they are looking for, what is wrong with that? If they don’t find it, then they have to live with it. If fear is a motivator, then the person needs to deal with that problem before they enter into a relationship. Also, what is so hard about saying that you are not ready for a serious relationship or that you are not ready with a particular person? It is good to know what you want and to be in touch with your feelings. A serious relationship that could lead to marriage is not something that should be entered into lightly. Additionally, I realize that there are people who believe that God chooses a mate for us, but I don’t believe that there is Biblical support for that. I believe that the Bible gives us free will to choose our mate, as long as he/she is a believer. Yes, we should be open to possibilities and to God’s leading, but we are free to exercise our choice in many things. I also believe that we should strive to be content in all circumstances, as Paul exhorts us to do. We may desire marriage, but, for whatever reason, it may not happen. The desire for marriage should not become a “god” for us.

Anonymous said...

This article is really WHO will make the first move?

No, not for a prospect...but down on one's knees and ask GOD to lead YOU and DITCH the agenda that hasn't been working so far...any takers???