Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Singles pastor says: Go ahead ladies, make your move!
We recently heard from a single pastor/friend/fan/supporter who happens to be single. Let's call him Greg. Despite a revolving door chock full of attractive, eligible single ladies, Greg has not dated much in the past few years. But now Greg has met someone special and wanted us to convey a message to our single audience.
As you can imagine, being a single, single pastor comes with a unique set of challenges. There's a whole 'nuther set of boundaries that you will probably never have to set, and much more drama involved in that particular singles ministry, compared to others.
But getting back to the point, Greg wanted us to be sure to convey to our readers and members at Cache' Connections that it's okay for the woman to give an indication that she is interested. (This was recently confirmed by Dr. Stephen W. Simpson during his talk at the Christian Dating Redefined Conference and Expo in Springfield last Saturday.) A certain lady - let's call her Jill - had attended one of Greg's singles events, and they shared some light bantering. He didn't have a chance to get involved in a private conversation before she left, so he handed her his card and invited her to attend his singles meetings and other events.
From there a few emails were exchanged, but Greg was a little slow or reluctant to ask her out. So "Jill" finally made her move and asked him, "So do you treat all of your singles this way, or is there something else going on here?" Of course, Greg got the hint and took the reins from there, because he had intended to ask her out but had not gotten around to it. He stated that they hung out as friends first before an actual first date, which was crucial in building a relationship. (This was also part of Dr. Simpson' talk.)
Greg indicated that he had no regrets that "Jill" made the first move, and from the tone of his emails and phone calls, we can tell that he's really excited about this budding relationship. We hear from guys all the time that women need to give men an indication that they are interested. As Dr. Simpson says, "Go ahead and flirt with him. This doesn't mean you have to act all weird, just be a little extra nice, and smile at him or touch his shoulder. Believe me, guys notice these things."
Greg also mentioned that he believes there is a small window of opportunity to ask a girl out before things settle into a friendship or the circumstances otherwise changes and you miss the opportunity to explore a dating relationship.
So gals ... we know you want to be pursued, but by the same token, guys sometimes need a clue. But THAT could be a whole 'nuther blog ...
To get more of Dr. Simpson's great dating advice, check out the Christian Dating Redefined DVD. CLICK HERE for details and to order your copy!