"Also, in regards to a way that you can flirt....you don't have to throw yourself at him/her but you also shouldn't treat him like he is a brother......if you are interested, let him know. If you treat him like a brother than you are making things more confusing for yourself and him."
This is an excerpt from a recent chat at Cache' Connections led by Emily Shupert, one of our featured relationship experts at Cache' Connections. There is some confusion about how to conduct yourself when in the company of the opposite sex - especially those you are interested in getting to know! What Emily is saying is that we need to step up our game - act interested - instead of sending mixed messages that only add to the confusion and struggle.
Ladies, men's egos are very tender. They aren't too excited about putting themselves out there, approaching a girl unless she gives him some indication that she will respond. So, some basic ways of affirming your interest are good eye contact (lock eyes), listening to what he is saying and asking questions about his topic, and of course smiling. This can all be done subtly without everyone in the room aware of what's going on. There's also a study that reveals that when a woman touches her neck or plays with her necklace, this indicates interest. (Hint-hint guys!)
Emily often recommends this: have one or two of your good friends go with you to a public place and observe how you conduct yourself in the company of the opposite sex. Many times women are surprised to learn about the vibes they are sending out: crossed arms, not looking around, frowning, etc. Could this be you? Are you approachable?
Ladies, how would you like to be flirted with by a Christian man?
~Linda
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1 comment:
It's safe for a man to start flirting with a woman the way men have always done it: by complimenting her, I mean HER. For ex.: "You're beautiful". I've had men make the mistake of complimenting what I wear. for ex: I like your dress, like the color of your nail polish (huh?)...one even complimented everything I was wearing from head to toe!(incl. necklace, jewelry, etc) lol! That's a "no-no" to me...that's what women do is compliment one another for what we wear. Men you NEED TO step up and tell me that I AM beautiful, not what I wear. I also beleive that flirting is an intellectual engagement of two minds interested in one another...it starts from the physical attraction (eyes like what they see)to the intellectual connection.
Anonymous female, 40+, IL
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