Saturday, April 16, 2011
I've been reminded in speaking with a few different people recently, particularly guys, that some people tend to move way too fast in getting their hopes up about a new connection. This week we've talked to a guy who connected with a member on the website, a guy in Florida who met someone at the recent Expo, and a few gentlemen in Chicagoland who met someone very interesting at the Cache' Quick Introductions, and even a Facebook friendship that is blossomming ... and that's great!
But here's the thing. We want to caution both males and females to try to keep your excitement under wraps. For one thing, you really don't know in that first day or week or few emails what you've got. If you start strategizing where you will live, how many kids you will have, etc., there's a likelihood that you are setting yourself up for disappointment. On the other hand, your enthusiasm could frighten the other person, making him or her feel undue pressure if they are not experiencing the same feelings.
You have to remember, especially if you are over the age of about 30, that you are dealing with someone who has most likely been hurt from a past relationship. And hurt people tend to be a little protective of their sore spots. Wisely, they may want to take things slowly. This reminds me of a title to a speech that one of our experts delivered at a Cache' Connections Live! event: "It's a pace, not a race."
Our advice is to stay close to God through prayer in all phases of a relationship, but especially at the onset. Remember all of those chemicals that are ignited in your brain (yes, God put them there) that make the sky seem bluer and her eyes sparkle brighter? Don't be totally fooled by them! They are there for a basic reason - procreation. But gradually those chemicals wear off and reality will set in - ask any married couple. But that's all good.
My point today is that just because you met someone that you are really attracted to, give it at least a week or two before you shut off all other communications, matching status, etc. You don't really know what the other person is thinking. And you don't want to set yourself up for an unnecessary disappointment. Let God lead!
Have a great weekend.