Monday, January 9, 2012
Could You Be This Prickly Person?
I'm reading the "Power of Positive Thinking" by Norman Vincent Peale, which was written in the early 1950's. If you haven't read it, I certainly recommend it for everyone. It is a great eye-opener on how to open our minds, stretch our faith and adopt an expectant, positive attitude that will bring positive things back to you.
You are reading this blog because you want a mate. I wonder if the things you say, the way you think and the general attitude and mindset you have are hindering your connection possibilities?
In this book, Peale tells of a woman who came to visit him about a problem. He was a few minutes late for the appointment, and when he met her, it was obvious that she was displeased with him, as her lips were pressed firmly together. She shortly lit into him about being late and then pressed forward by stating, "I have a very important problem to present to you and I want an answer, and I expect an answer... I might as well put it to you bluntly. I want to get married."
Peale replied, "Well, that is a perfectly normal desire and I should like to help you."
"I want to know why I can't get married, " she continued. "Every time I form a friendship with a man, the next thing I know he fades out of the picture and another chance is gone by, and, I am not getting any younger. You conduct a personal-problem clinic to study people and you have had some experience, and I am putting my problem right up to you. Tell me, why can't I get married?"
I couldn't wait to read Peale's response. After paying her a few compliments on her sound mind, a fine personality and nice appearance, he got to the heart of the matter. Peale pointed out how she "took him to task" about being late. "Has it ever occurred to you that your attitude represents a pretty serious fault? I think a husband would have a very difficult time if you checked him up that closely all the time. In fact, you would so dominate him that, even if you did marry, your marital life would be unsatisfactory. Love cannot live under domination."
Then he addressed her sour countenance. "You have a very firm way of pressing your lips together which indicates a domineering attitude. The average male, I might as well tell you, does not like to be dominated, at least so that he knows it." (hee hee) He added, "I think you would be a very attractive person if you got those too-firm lines out of your face. You must have a little softness, a little tenderness, and those lines are too firm to be soft." He then moved on to his opinion about the fit of her dress, her hair style and recommended a touch of perfume. Finally, Peale told her that "the really important thing is to get a new attitude that will change the lines on your face and give you that indefinable quality known as spiritual joy. This I am certain will release charm and loveliness in you." Peale quoted an old professor of his who said that God "runs a beauty parlor."
The woman was smart enough to take his advice, and long story short, they reconnected several years later. She was with her husband and 10 year old son. "What you told me was absolutely true," she said very earnestly. "I was the most frustrated, unhappy individual imaginable when I came to see you, but I put into practice the principles you suggested. I really did, and they worked."
Peale was bold enough to tell the woman what she desperately needed to hear, and she was smart enough to be teachable. Are you teachable, coachable, trainable? Is there someone in your life that might be willing to tell you the hard truth that you might need to hear?