Getting Attached to the Wrong Guy or Girl

I'm reading a great book on dating by Dr. Henry Cloud. Chapter 23 introduces a gal who is having issues with her boyfriend of one year. It seems she often takes second place to his hobbies and other interests. (Haven't we all been there?) Dr. Cloud asked her what she was looking for in a mate. She responded with a respectable "I want someone who is committed to me, is spiritually compatible, lives out our values, stuff like that." Dr. Cloud suggested she break off the relationship, but she responded that she loves him. Interestingly, Dr. Cloud showed her that she was being led by her attachment to him, rather than leading by her values. He states: "You have to be guided by your spiritual values and the things that make love last. I am not suggesting you 'throw love away.' I am suggesting that you protect love and require the character that makes it work. That is what values do - they protect and preserve love and all the good things in life." Dr. Cloud goes on to suggest that you maintain your boundaries from Day 1 of a relationship in order to protect your emotions from getting over involved with the wrong person. I think this is an all-too common problem, and the cause of many divorces. People settle for someone who doesn't really meet their basic value system. This is overlooked at the beginning of a relationship due to exaggerated chemical reactions sometimes referred to as the "love cocktail." Over time, this love potion wears off and you are left to deal with a person that you don't mesh with on a fundamental level. This is not to say that there won't be some give and take in a relationship. You have to carefully weigh what you can wiggle on and what you can't - there are no perfect relationships. Just don't settle for someone who may turn you into someone you don't want to become, or for a relationship that is less than God's good plans for you!