Could this be you?

Now that we are well into our second year as matchmakers, having studied the Christian dating books and trends, conferred with experts and pastors, and dealt with countless singles, some consider us experts in the field of matchmaking. Through our experiences, we have identified some patterns of singles. Although these individuals claim they want a secure, loving relationship that will lead to marriage, we often wonder if they realize the patterns of their decisions and actions (or non-actions). So, take a look at these profiles. Could it be that without realizing it, you are unknowingly contributing to your singlehood?

No. 1. Dan is in his mid-forties and has never been married. Although he leads a very full life including his work and singles ministries, he has never found "the one." It seems that he is attracted to those that are just outside of his reach: too young, too old, too far away, or already taken.

No. 2. Susie is thirty-something and is very successful at her career. She has built a good life for herself which includes owning her own home. Justifiably, she has set high standards for the men she chooses to date. The problem is that she hasn't dated in at least two years. Susie is so busy with her ministries, career and keeping up her home (all of which we applaud!), she does not make time to make herself available for social functions or put herself in situations where she can meet new people. When she is out, she unknowingly sends out messages that say "do not approach."

No. 3. Alex has dated a lot of women since his divorce. While he enjoys meeting new women and often places himself in situations where he can meet more women, he never dates a woman for more than three or four months. He is looking for a woman who is flawless and continues to supply that special spark that he enjoys at the onset of a romance. Alex is a classic perfectionist dater.

Of course, the underlying reason for many of these behaviors is fear of failed relationships, and rightly so. Many singles saw the pain of divorce with their parents (or their own marriage) and are not even sure they are able to hold a marriage together. Our prayer is that singles would be asking the Lord what they may need to do in order to become healthy, intentional daters. This may include seeking the counsel of your godly friends, mentors or even a Christian counselor.

World's Shortest Blog

April-May News

Happy Anniversary Cache' Connections!

On May 20, 2009, Cache' Connections will celebrate the one-year anniversary of the launch of our current website. Although we have been in business since 2/14/07 (beginning on a local level in Central Illinois), the new matchmaking site has provided a much more affordable and global way to connect Christian singles. It has been quite the journey to get from our humble beginnings to the privileged place of partnering with churches and the Christian community that we now enjoy. God has shown his favor to Cache' Connections in tremendous ways.

We are hearing of success stories at every turn! Praise God! Don't forget to check in with Cache' Connections when you have a story/praise of how God has touched you through the ministry of Cache' Connections. Many members are blessed through our events and activities on the website, including matchmaking and the chats in The Meeting Room. The latter is a great place to find a friend on a night where you might find yourself alone and wanting to talk to someone in a similar place. These chats go over much better when we have a scheduled greeter, which is fun and easy! Drop us a note if you would like to lead a chat, with or without a specific topic.

Our next event coming up on 5/16 is Cache' Connections Live! Chesterton at Liberty Bible Church in Chesterton, Indiana. We encourage all of our friends to come out and help us celebrate our anniversary! There will be some special surprises and testimonies - and a free gift for everyone! Make plans and purchase your tickets here today!

Cache' Quick Introductions on 5/3 was a a wonderful afternoon spent at Carrabba's Italian Grill in Naperville with 48 of our single friends. The feedback has been very positive; we invite you to check out the recaps here. We also had a great event at Mount Paran Church of God in Atlanta, GA on 4/24. Pastor Greg Steely was a great host and we were warmly welcomed by our new southern friends! Just like in Chicago and Peoria, the pastors were quite pleased to see the singles stick around late into the evening, connecting with one another. We look forward to our return to Atlanta on 7/31 for another Cache' Connections Live! at First Baptist Church of Atlanta, with the help of Pastor Keith Langland, who is most excited about this opportunity to embellish his singles ministry.

Before returning to Atlanta, however, we have a few stops to make: Cincinnati, Ohio on 6/5 and then to Detroit, Michigan on 6/27. We already have a second trip scheduled back to Cincinnati for The Cache' Connections Dating Game on 7/17. There is also some serious talk of scheduling a Cache' Connections Dating Game this August in Naperville, Illinois, and also in Atlanta in October. Keep checking our Events tab!

As you can see, we are busy keeping up with the events and our precious members. Please know that we pray daily for you. Some of you are in a hard place, but I came across a scripture that reminds me of you:

1 Cor 7:17 "And don't be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God's place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not your marital status, defines your life. Don't think I'm being harder on you than on the others. I give this same counsel in all the churches." The Message

Here are a few reminders for new members:
- Please post your photos! They are not required but very beneficial.
Your headshot and bodyshot against a plain wall assures your
connections that the photos are recent.
- Feel free to send messages to those connections you are interested - this goes for both genders!
- If you are having trouble with a credit card transaction, please update your billing information.
- Please remember that all subscriptions will automatically renew.
Consider taking advantage of one of our specials before your next renewal
date. As always, feel free to contact us with any questions.

Blessings,
Kim and Linda
Cache' Connections

Success stories? Don't make us beg!

I think we may have left something out of our Terms and Conditions. There should be some language written in that requires happy couples to report in and send photos!

Really, now. Most of you know how hard we work at this thing. Many of you have offered your words of encouragement for our efforts, and believe me, they are the wind that our sails need some days. And, honestly, sometimes we get so tied up in website changes, customer service, marketing, event details (details ... details!) that we forget what this is all about. Well, we never really forget. (That would be silly.) But it is such a pleasant surprise when we hear of relationships that have formed out of our events and website matchmaking! There's just one thing: these stories come out of telephone calls we are making to you! Or, we stumble upon some information through Facebook or some other information super highway.

So, I think I'll call the lawyer and have him beef up the contract, adding a few promises such as:

a) phone call to Cache' Connections after 5th date/2nd months (whichever comes first)
b) photos of the happy couple (hey, they don't even have to be against a plain wall!)
c) engagement announcement and photos (no cropping allowed)
d) wedding invitation
e) photo opp with happily married couple

So, after you get past those first few months, tell the family, etc., don't forget to call Kim and Linda - the two crazy Christian matchmakers who followed God's call to help get you two together. We want to be praying for you! (Also, I like wedding cake.)

Linda

Atlanta - here we go again...

Now that we feel we have gained a market and foundation in the Chicago area, God has opened doors for us to spread our wings into new cities and states. We felt so blessed to be invited to Mount Paran Church of God in Atlanta on 4/24. Much prayer and preparation went into this event as it was our first event out of state requiring long distance travel. We met some fantastic people and were encouraged by the comments of many who came to the event and said they were so glad they had come and fully endorse Cache' Connections and what it stands for. The number of attendees was lower than we had expected although we understand it takes a while to gain recognition and a name in each community. We had a conversation with the singles pastor from Mount Paran and also First Baptist Atlanta who filled us in on the difficulties in getting singles to attend events in the Atlanta area. It is frustrating for all who plan and organize events and then have so few show up. God seems to be impressing on me that we need to let others know that we need their support in a monetary fashion along with their words of encouragement. That thought was even reinforced by a phone call from a member who is now dating someone he met through Cache' Connections. I received a helpful, but stern, reminder that it is okay to let people know that they need to sign up and attend the events. Singles seem to have developed a reputation of being skeptical and difficult to get engaged. Our hope is that Cache' Connections can help singles regain trust and start connecting with others in a healthy manner!

Nuggets from "If You Want to Walk on Water, You've Got to Get Out of the Boat"

It's no secret that Kim and I, the founders of Cache' Connections, feel like establishing this business/ministry has been a boat-exiting expedition. We know this is God's calling on our lives, as he has provided, confirmed and untangled in miraculous ways. Was it easy? No. Was it a scary risk? Yes - and it sometimes still is. But we keep reminding ourselves that God's word is true and faithful. We know that he tends to move alongside of our faith in action.

Here are a few quotes from John Ortberg's book, based on the apostle Peter's unforgettable water walk with Jesus.

Ortberg writes: There is a consistent pattern in scripture of what happens in a life that God wants to use and improve:

- There is always a call ...
- There is always fear ...
- There is always reassurance ...
- There is always a decision ...
- There is always a changed life

This is the part that is interesting. Those who say yes to the call don't always "walk the water perfectly" but they learn and grow through the process of trying and failing. "And they become part of his actions to redeem the world." Those who say no also are changed: they become a little harder, more resistant to say yes the next time He calls. Ooh, ouch! Do you know anyone like that?

In bringing this around to matters of the heart (like we tend to do here at CC), there is always going to be risk involved in seeking a mate. Risk isn't fun - at least not for many of us. But without taking a risk, you simply don't have a chance to win the prize. It can be scary, exhilarating, and a million other things. But without taking that first step, then the second, and so on ... you may become more resistant to try the next time an opportunity arises.

So, maybe consider taking that first step of attending a singles event or joining the website. Then ... there are necessary second and third steps. Talk to someone. Step out of your shell and say hello - maybe to several people. Already a member? Have you posted a photo? Your chances of receiving communication will greatly improve with some smiling photos. Make someone's day - send them a word of encouragement.

One of my favorite sayings is, "The harder I work, the luckier I get." This goes back to the reaping/sowing philosophy found in scripture (Gal 6:7) and I believe it pertains to many aspects of our lives, including forming relationships. I once heard you have to meet 100 people to make one good friend. Wouldn't it be the same case (if not more) to meet your soulmate?

Recaps and Updates!

Cache' Connections had a great weekend at The Chapel in Barrington Hills. Approximately 200 Christian singles came out to enjoy some great wisdom and advice on how to approach dating by Dr. Stephen Simpson. Worship with Brian Hunt was awesome as usual - good job guys! We were all entertained by Moody Radio host Erick Townsend, who razzed the crowd and got us all to loosen up a bit! Our fearless leader, Kim, was serenaded with Brian Hunt's surprise rendition of "Happy Birthday" in celebration of her 50th birthday, which made the evening special.

Many guests registered for the next Cache' Quick Introductions, which is scheduled for 5/3/09 at Carrabba's Italian Grill in Naperville. Check it out under the Events tab! Next stop in Chicagoland: Chesterton, IN on 5/16/09. Mark your calendars!

Next stop is Atlanta, Georgia where we will be welcomed for a Cache' Connections Live! event at Mount Paran Church of God. Dr. Paul Meier will be our featured speaker, and Scott England will lead us in worship. Thanks to WNIV Radio for doing a great job of promotions for the event. We look forward to meeting many new friends and members from Atlanta and the surrounding areas.

It may sound cliche, but love is in the air at Cache' Connections. Many connections are being made and we are receiving reports of blooming relationships. Is it Spring? Is it God? We are sure it is a combination of God working in and through all of our efforts - along with yours!

Love springs forth from Cache' events!

Love is in the air! As we have been talking to people about our upcoming events, we are receiving feedback that many couples are being formed as a result of meeting at our events! Not only that, but there are success-so-far stories as a result of the matchmaking at cacheconnections.com.

How about you? Have you stepped out to an event? Into the website? Your chances of meeting that special someone increase greatly if you do!

Have you met someone through Cache' Connections? Please tell us so that we can be praying for your relationship!

Hello Spring and New Cache' Markets

March News

Psalm 8:1: "O LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth! You have set your glory above the heavens."  We look forward to the glory of the Lord soon being revealed in the newness of Spring.

We have a few new things to report at Cache' Connections.  Some upgrades to the website are well underway, including links to profiles from My Messages (click on the sender's name to link to corresponding profile) and thumbnail photos attached to My Messages (click on the photo to link to sender's profile).

Additionally, God continues to open new doors for Cache' Connections as we step out in faith. We are headed to Atlanta, Georgia on April 24, then back to the midwest to Chesterton, Indiana on May 16. In addition, we are very pleased to be welcomed to First Baptist Atlanta on July 31 (Charles Stanley's church.)   New doors have also been opened to us in Cincinnati, Ohio and near Detroit, Michigan.  There are several other churches in other states that are considering hosting Cache' Connections events, so we look forward to a very busy Summer and Fall.

Before all of that comes about, we want to invite you to register for Cache' Connections Live! Barrington Hills that is taking place at The Chapel on Saturday, April 4th from 7 - 10 pm.  Many members and friends have registered for the event, as well as the Living Single conference that is taking place at The Chapel on 4/4 from 1 to 5 p.m.  Please note these are separate events with separate registration fees.

Author, Speaker, Psychologist and Director of Clinical Training/Associate Professor of Fuller Theological Seminary Dr. Stephen Simpson will be sharing his relevant and candid advice on how to better navigate the confusing sea of relationships, as well as debunking some Christian dating myths. This is going to be a great day for Christian singles that you won't want to miss!  Check out the Events tab for all details and to register.

A special welcome goes out to our new members. Here are a few reminders for all:

- Please post your photos! They are not required but very beneficial. Your headshot and bodyshot against a plain wall assures your connections that the photos are recent.
- Feel free to send messages to those connections you are interested - this goes for both genders!
- Let us know if you would like to lead a chat one evening; it's a great way to ensure good attendance in The Meeting Room. Check out scheduled chats under Scheduled Events.
- Please remember that all subscriptions will automatically renew. Consider taking advantage of our specials before your next renewal date.  As alway, feel free to contact us with any questions.

Why should you attend Cache' Connections Live! Barrington Hills?

In the words of those who attended past Cache' Connections Live! events:

"Kim and Linda - THANK YOU! My friend and I had a great time last night. I felt like Michelle was talking to me personally at some points .. May God continue to bless this awesome and much needed ministry! I look forward to your next Cache Connections Live!" Tara, Aurora, IL

"I just wanted to thank you for allowing me to be a part of the Cache Connection event this last Friday! I was very impressed with the entire event and it is obvious that you have a passion for what you do and have centered it around Christ which I love. I will continue to pray for your organization as it reaches out to the Christian Singles across the nation." Brian Hunt, Artist and Associate Pastor, Parkview Christian Church

"Friday night was very positive, how they spoke about community, to know you're in a room with all Christians, it can be contagious ... I would like to see more social events like this, with some message, worship and fellowship. Food too!" Kelly, Naperville, IL

The Chapel is hosting this event as well as the "Living Single" conference on the same day. Feel free to attend one or both events:

1 - 5:00 pm Living Single
7 - 10:00 pm Cache' Connections Live!

These dual events will offer great opportunities to get some great Christian advice and mingle with other area singles! For more information or to sign up for either event, please visit the News/Events tab at cacheconnections.com or CLICK HERE.

* Save money by pre-registering for both events!

*Remember, you do not need to a member to attend events and it's easy to come alone. You'll be sure to meet some new friends.

Feel free to call or email with your questions.

Blessings,
Kim and Linda
www.cacheconnections.com
309-550-5580

March Roars In

March blew in like a lion as we had three events this past weekend on the north side of Chicagoland. There was a great turnout at Christ Community where we were welcomed to have a strong presence at Relationships 101 - thank you Tim Downey! It was nice seeing some of our friends and making new ones! Sunday we sped around from Arlington Heights at 1:00 to Naperville at 6:00 for two different Cache' Quick Introductions. We had two great groups of people (about 38 each) who really enjoyed meeting other Christian singles in their "age and mileage range." A lot of promising connections were made :)

We hit this week with the ground running as we busied ourselves tidying up from the weekend and looking forward to numerous details for upcoming events and general "business." We received confirmation today that a very well-known church in Atlanta, First Baptist Atlanta (Charles Stanley's church) will be hosting a Cache' Connections Live! event on 7/31/09. God continues to open amazing doors, as there are several other churches in a variety of states considering hosting events. We are blessed with the problem of working through some growing pains, but we know God will provide the wisdom we need at the right time. In the meantime, we've been blessed with great families, volunteers and encouragers to continue rolling along as the Spirit leads.

Make plans now to spend the day and evening at The Chapel in Barrington Hills! Check it out under News/Events. See you there!

~ Linda
p.s. photo too much?

Cache' Connections - February News

February came and went like a flash for Cache' Connections. We stretched ourselves to the max by hosting two major events back-to-back. Thanks to all who came out to Parkview Christian Church on 2/13 for Cache' Connections Live! Parkview was a very gracious host to us and we all enjoyed the wisdom and candor of Dr. Paul Meier and the worship led by Brian Hunt. Jean Lachat did a great job on the photography and we are enjoying seeing those photos being uploaded to your accounts.

We took a calculated risk and decided to host an event for Valentine's Day - a tough day for many singles. Our advisers told us it would have to be something fun and light, so we decided to do The Dating Game, which was an idea we had tossed around previously. Talk about a risk! We struggled and searched to get the three panels "just so" (matchwise) only to have some drop out, fly out, and fly back in just in time for the downbeat - literally! God provided wonderful help, however, and the show went off with few hitches and a lot of laughs. Check out the recaps under the News/Events tab. Kim did a fantastic job as "producer" as Linda helped get the volunteers organized and entertained the contestants while we kept them separated during rehearsals.

God continues to open amazing doors for us - with somewhat peculiar timing! In the midst of planning these events, we were writing an article and preparing a power point presentation for a workshop on dating that we were invited to lead at a SAM (single adult ministry) conference in Daytona Beach this past weekend. We had a wonderful experience at the conference and made some great contacts in the national Christian single leaders circles. Check out the blog under Community and Advice for more stories of our little getaway.

We are constantly amazed at how God is bringing our original ideas and plans to fruition. We had hopes of being invited to piggy-back with some churches for their events. Christ Community in St. Charles has graciously invited us to be a part of their "Relationships 101" event on 3/7/09. Following that, we'll be in Arlington Heights and Naperville on 3/8 for Cache' Quick Introductions. These are always a great group of people and a unique opportunity to meet other Christian singles in a more intimate - yet fun - setting.

As Spring approaches we look forward to seeing many of you again and meeting some new friends at The Chapel in Barrington Hills on 4/4 and then it's off to Atlanta, Georgia! Mt. Paran Church of God, a megachurch, has invited us to have a Live! event on 4/24. Dr. Meier will be our guest speaker again as part of a friendly partnership with Meier Clinics. We are continuing to cast our nets out to other states and look forward to entering new markets as the Lord opens doors to Cache' Connections. We'll be Indiana-bound for an event on 5/16 at Liberty Bible Church where Drs. Tom and Bev Rodgers will be our featured speakers.

A special welcome goes out to our new members. Feel free to contact us with any questions you may have. Here are a few reminders for all:

- Please post your photos! They are not required but very beneficial. Your headshot and bodyshot against a plain wall assures your connections that the photos are recent.
- Feel free to send messages to those connections you are interested - this goes for both genders!
- Let us know if you would like to lead a chat one evening; it's a great way to ensure good attendance in The Meeting Room. Check out scheduled chats under Scheduled Events. Thursdays have been quite popular for the single/never marrieds ... and Monday we look forward to member Jodi welcoming chatters who will be discussing dating after divorce.
- Please remember that all subscriptions will automatically renew. Consider taking advantage of our specials before your next renewal date.

We continue to pray for our members and are thankful for each one of you. In turn, we covet your prayers that Cache' Connections will continue to attract like-minded believers who are committed to meeting and connecting with other believers.

Blessings,
Kim and Linda
Cache' Connections

God Shows Up At SAM

It is amazing how we see God's word coming to life over and over again at Cache' Connections. We were really looking forward to having a couple of days vacation after the conference in Daytona Beach. We had rented a condo over the internet that looked really nice, all remodeled and on the beach. When we arrived, we found out why the pictures had only featured the inside. It was really bad! The smell hit you when you walked in the door. The location was not good either. I knew I could not stay there, but there was no way out... we had already paid. We decided to just stay away as much as possible and then quickly had to leave to set up at the conference. It just made us feel worse when we went to the conference hotel and it was beautiful in a great location on the beach and had not been that much more money than the condo. Upon arriving at the conference center, we met a nice guy, Rex, who was helping an author set up next to our booth. We found they were dating and Rex had come to help her and offer his support. We helped him put up his sign and he helped us with ours. We figured out we needed an extension cord and he offered to get one for us. He came back shortly with the cord and some candy for our booth. We offered to pay, he refused. I shared with him the story about the condo and how much I detested the thought of staying there that week. When we had settled in for the general session, we were summoned out by Georgia, the author and girlfriend. Rex was standing in the hall with a receipt. He had paid for 5 days for us to stay at this beautiful hotel! We were stunned. Our eyes filled with tears. That was the most unbelievable, unexpected gift I have ever been given. Our feelings quickly turned to dismay, "No, we can't accept this. This is too much money!" He insisted and said he appreciated what we were doing. We couldn't thank him enough and as soon as the evening was over, moved our things from the condo and had a great stay the rest of the week. We have committed to paying this one forward! What an amazing God we have and what a generous, giving guy!

Daytona and SAM

Two major events and a conference in Daytona Beach- all within 2 weeks of time! I'm beginning to think we're as crazy as most people think we are. What can we say? It was a matter of timing, Valentine's weekend and then the SAM conference the next weekend. Attending a singles leader conference was another first for Kim and Linda. A mere inquiry into the event led to being asked to write for the SAM newsletter and a couple of days later, we received a call to present a workshop at the conference. How could we say no? What a great opportunity to meet with singles leaders from across the country and share with them about Cache' Connections. It was quite unnerving being on a stage in front of some very respected and well-known singles leaders. But, we know if God calls, he equips, so we pulled it off pretty well. The workshop was a lot of pressure, coming off the other events and needing to create an hour long presentation about the biz. We couldn't have done it without Ty jumping in and creating the powerpoint, finishing up right before we had to leave. It was a great experience. We met some incredible people who are committed to the singles ministry. We also made some great contacts and are praying that we will be scheduling some more events in other parts of the country as a result. Unfortunately, the warm weather didn't arrive until we left, but it still was better than the cold in Illinois!

Valentine's Weekend Recaps

Cache' Connections had two fantastic events over the Valentine weekend with almost 700 singles in attendance! Parkview Church in Orland Park was a beautiful venue for the event. Dr. Paul Meier's presence was appreciated along with the advice and encouragement he shared with the attendees. Brian Hunt, a very talented music artist from the Chicago area, brought the crowd to their feet in joining in worship. As always, everyone enjoyed the community connect and were able to meet many new friends.

The Dating Game was quite the hit! The only complaint we heard was that it didn't last long enough. We had 3 great panels of contestants and Tower from Shine.FM kept the crowd laughing with his dating stories. The special guests relied on the audience to help them choose their date. We had so many attendees tell us how much they enjoyed the food and socialization time. They were especially grateful for the opportunity to meet so many nice people.

We wanted to say thank you to everyone who came to these events and to those who participated and volunteered. We greatly appreciate your support!

A letter of encouragement from Parkview Christian Church

The following note was received the morning after one of our Cache' Connections Live! events in Orland Park, IL:

Ladies,

The Holy Spirit won't leave me alone this morning. I've only had 3 hours of sleep but it certainly doesn't seem like it. My head is "a buzz" and my heart is overflowing with joy. Thank you for what you are doing; for fulfilling our Lord's will in being obedient to the calling I certainly believe He has placed on your lives. You two so compliment each other with your spiritual gifts and individual personalities.

Last night could only be described as SPECTACULAR! The program in and of itself was awesome but the part that blessed me the most was to see the way the Singles responded to your encouragement to meet other people they had never meet before. It then only gained momentum as they were ushered into the Grand Foyer for refreshments. The atmosphere was so conducive to people being able to step outside of their comfort zones and mingle with someone new. It had to be the work of the Holy Spirit.

Dr. Paul Meier really "nailed it" with his teaching and I was honored to be in the presence of such a humble man of God.

It was also such a great place for our brothers and sisters in Christ who hadn't seen each other for a long time to rekindle old friendships. There have been a lot of people involved in our Singles Ministry here and I think everyone was thankful and surprisingly blessed they chose to experience this event.

Thank you for asking us (Parkview 30+ Singles Ministry) to be your host. It was truly a pleasure and a fulfillment of God's desire. For that I shall be eternally grateful.

Humbly in Christ's stead,


David Mealiff
Steering Committee
30+ Singles Ministry
Parkview Christian Church
www.parkviewsingles.com

dear mr. nice guy

this is an essay i found from one of my facebook friends, amena bee from atlanta. she wrote it awhile ago for submission to a regional publication. it wasn't chosen for publication but she thought it would be fitting to post it here in honor of good man month, and we heartily agree!

Dear Mr. Nice Guy,

Good men are hard to find and even harder to keep. It’s unforgiveable to let one go. Just like you, they keep slipping through my hands like so much sand in an hourglass. You’re right. You are underappreciated. You’ve been given a bad rap and truthfully I preferred a broken and bruised heart to your respectful ways. I’m sorry I said you were boring. I’m sorry I said you were soft. I’m sorry I said you weren’t sexy enough. I’m sorry for not giving you a chance.

When we first met, you confused me. Seriously, who’s honest anymore Mr. Nice Guy? Who says what they mean in the dating game these days? I suppose you do, and it’s clear you don’t believe in playing with my emotions. What’s a single woman to do with all that free time, now that she has no reason to spend her time psychoanalyzing too short text messages, missed calls with no voicemail, and first dates that never make it to a second one?

And another thing Mr. Nice Guy, how dare you be into commitment? I mean who’s into getting serious? Who wants the pressure of a man who wants to be with only me? I would much rather prefer a man who’s juggling me and sixty other women across the city. I like a man who keeps me guessing.

Marriage, commitment, rings, his and hers sinks and towels, matching outfits – these words didn’t scare you. In fact, you welcomed them, wanted them, wanted me, but I wasn’t ready for you. My early 20s mind couldn’t fathom giving up the freedom of singleness to settle down with you. I couldn’t imagine my one and your one becoming one. I couldn’t bring myself to give up the lottery-like possibility of finding five other men that might be the one. I was standing on the side of the road with a hitchhiker’s thumb, passing up the most safe ride home. I was waiting for something better. Like baiting a unicorn on a fishing pole, I was stupid to throw you back into the sea that clichés say is running aplenty with fish.

Trust me. When my night’s get lonely, when I’m out with some ignorant fool who doesn’t know opening the door for a lady from throwing a shot of tequila down his throat, who assumes that dinner and a second date means sex, I think of you. Don’t tell anyone I’m writing this but sometimes I daydream of you. You, the one any woman wants to bring home to meet a dysfunctional family. You, who would rub my back while my family argues the merit of scripture and scrabble, and gaze at me with the look that said you loved and accepted me just for me and would do the same for them. You, who would make love, make babies, and stick around to deal with me, my horrible hormonal attitude, and alien cravings; stick around for baby names, birth, pre-k, middle school, college, and empty nest until it’s back to just us. You, who even as you are reading this forgives the silly me that sent you on your way in the first place.

The phrase “no more Mr. Nice Guy” has haunted me since I ended things with you. You made me question my definition of a man. As if the paramount of testosterone has to equal hairy machismo, never-ending noncommittal, and grunts-only communication. You had character, endurance, perseverance, respect, patience, and I was just too fireworks-driven to see it.

You have no reason to trust these words coming from the pen of a woman who so quickly and easily dismissed you, but years and life and trouble and struggle have shaped that woman with the same indelible imprint with which quick rivers slowly hewn canyons. I see you more clearly now, as I see myself.

I really just wanted to let you know that the phrase “nice guys finish last” is propaganda pushed by bad boys in gentlemen’s clothing. Whatever you do in life, don’t shy away from being the nice guy, especially not because of women like me. Sooner or later some woman is going to relish your gentlemanly gestures. She will find your respectful hand in the small of her back so much more sexy than a strange first-date hand attempting the squeeze on her inner thigh. She will be swept away by your chivalrous door-opening, coat-holding, pulling out her chair, and she will not ditch you for the next smooth swagger, emotionally unavailable, slick talker. Hold out for her and don’t settle for less.

Don’t worry, you don’t have to reply. I wouldn’t dare ask you for a second chance. I just wanted to clear the air and hopefully give myself a clean slate. And maybe, just maybe I’ll cross paths with another nice guy and this time I won’t give him back.

Sincerely,
Me

Daytona Beach Bound

As you may know, we have been working on expanding our services and marketing strategies in different states. We are blessed to have some new doors open for us; specifically, Mt. Paran Church of God in Atlanta, GA on 4/24, and Liberty Bible Church in Chesterton, IN on 5/16. Both churches are looking forward to partnering with us in Cache' Connections Live! events. We are also looking to go further South, through the Bible belt and elsewhere. To that end, we have been "casting nets" in that direction, contacting churches to see if they might be interested in coming together with Cache' Connections. We received a call back from a pastor in Orlando, Florida, who happens to be a speaker of the SAM (Single Adult Ministry) Conference that is coming up in a few weeks in Daytona Beach. We had contacted SAM a few times and even phoned, but had received no response. This pastor made a phone call and within about a day, whalaa, we were invited to be an event sponsor - at a reduced rate! What is encouraging about this is that we had prayed specifically that morning for confirmation from God if we should go to the expense of making this Florida trip. God didn't stop there. We were invited to submit an article in the SAM Monthly Read & Lead magazine. What is amazing about this story is that we received another call from the SAM coordinator ... asking us to lead a workshop on dating. So, away we go again, getting out of the boat. At least this time we are landing on the beach :)

Once again - Getting Out Of The Boat!

Like we don't have enough to do already. Linda and I are it, the whole kit-and-caboodle, we perform multiple tasks from customer service, website oversight, accounting, event planning... we even make our own backdrops for our events! Now, we're writing a book - you heard it. We are partnering with Dr. Paul Meier to tell our story and provide advice to Christian singles. Once again God is using our past experiences and skills to push us to the limits of our abilities. We have actually kidded around since day one that we would write a book about how all this went down. As everything else has gone with this business, it has come much faster than we expected. Since the opportunity has presented itself, we're not going to turn it away. So here we go.. creating another wheel. We have decided to co-author each chapter, telling our story relating to an important concept we are trying to impress on singles. We have planned that Dr. Meier will then relate that same lesson directly to the singles. Waa laahh - the format has been established. Please pray for us. There's a lot to be worked out yet!

a day in the life ...

Okay, so you may be wondering, what really goes on at Cache' Connections? What do they do all week long? So today I thought I'd offer a glimpse of the action behind the action. Although we envisioned a self-reliant website that would afford us the privilege of "working on the beach," we have yet to research sand-proof laptops!

Both of our days begin by hopping on the computer around 7:00 a.m. to check on overnight activities: new members to be welcomed, bank account and statistics to monitor, customer service requests to address, Facebook statuses to update (be-friend us!.) Kim and I start our official business day together around 9:30 a.m., enjoying the freedom to work out before the work day; I on my treadmill and hand weights, Kim pumping iron at the gym. (She's pretty buff!)

We start the day together making a to-do list, as every day is different. Then we pray together for our decisions and for our members, always praising God and giving the business back to him each day. Depending on where we are with upcoming events, we spend a lot of time on those details - talking to church leaders, speakers, bands, photographers, writing scripts, contracts and endless lists lists lists!

Between 9:30 and 5:00'ish such things can be heard as:

1. "did you answer so and so?"
2. "we need to pray"
3. "we need to make a policy on (fill in the blank)"
4. "lunchtime already?"
5. "you make the page, I'll write the email blast"
6. "where's my map?"
7. "I wonder if Neil Clark Warren does this ..."

Do I miss the 9 to 5 job I gave up? Not really (sorry guys.) The steady paycheck and free coffee were great, but looking back it seemed like ... well, a lot of work. What we are doing now is more like an adventure. Only God knows how the future will turn out. Until then, we remain,

Two Crazy Married Women Who Started a Christian Dating Service